Young(ish) SAHM -v- Working Mum?

ella_ella_ella

People are terrible for having their own 'views' arnt they!

Our daughter is almost 10 months old now and i decided whilst pregnant that i wouldnt return to work. My job was only part time and although i enjoyed it, it wasnt a 'proper' career and didnt use any of my qualifications.

I guess we are lucky in that my partner has a very good job and his wages more than cover what we were both making whilst working.

I really enjoy being at home looking after my daughter myself and personally couldnt allow anyone else to do it. On the other hand i am starting to feel a little like the days are rolling into one although this is more down to me letting my routine slip and not keeping up with the structure i did have to my days.

You need to do what you want to do as looking back you dont want any regrets about missing out on your child, or career, just because you felt you couldnt think it through properly because of other people.

Good luck x

January20

whitewing wrote: »

I've worked since DS was 3 months old. It is now that he's at secondary school and approaching adulthood that I feel that he needs me to be available, and I want to be there outside of school hours.

This is so true!

I've worked part-time from when my DD was 3 weeks old and have never regretted it. She has never suffered from me working as she spent time at nursery, with her father, her grandfather.

She is now nearing her 16th birthday and she is a confident and balanced young lady, but she does need me more now because she needs more emotional support and reassurance as she is dealing with being a teenager and with the demands of her gcse course.

People are always willing to give you their opinion and tell you how you should live your life - but it is YOUR life - do what suits you and ignore everybody else!

rchddap1

20 hours a week doesn't seem that much in the grand scheme of things. Especially as its a work from home thing. Personally I'd do it. If possible I'd do what I could at night or when little monster was in bed, but I'd also arrange for a nursery / child minder. Got to be good to spend time around other children aftr all.

You have to decide what you want to do. Yes money is nice. For some being a SAHM is nice. But its what you and your daughter want / need that's important. Other's can make suggestions but it is the decision of your family and no-one else.

belfastgirl23

Just to add another perspective (as someone who has never had to make this choice!). It's also worth considering what would happen if your husband became ill or disabled or whatever. Keeping up some contact with the world of work yourself would mean it would be easier to step up and become the breadwinner, whereas if you step back completely it's much harder to get back in again. I know it's a bit depressing to think about but I've seen it happen more than once now and where women have kept up some kind of part-time commitment to their job it is easier. I'm just wondering if this might help sell it to your family, that it's a little insurance policy, just in case....

Rachie_B

fernliebee wrote: »

I agree with the above, it has too work for all of you. Children are very adaptable, and as it is 20 hours, and some work from home, you could end up with the best of both worlds. If it doesn't work you can always leave work. On the other side of the coin you could extend your maternity (albeit unpaid) and return when she is a little bit older ie 12-18 months?? Only you can decide whats best try not to feel pushed in to anything.

Wish you well either way.

i agree

i think many parents would like to be in this position

good luck Op

x

sooty&sweep

Hi

I agree with everyone else and that is do what feels right for you.
A happy mummy generally leads to a happy child !
I have two children and both went fulltime to nursery from roughly 4-5 months. My son is now at school but my daughter is still at nursery. They both enjoy nursery and they get to do things you wouldn't do at home, due to the mess it makes etc !!
They are both happy, well adjusted children.
I have to be honest and say that as much as I love my children I have and had no desire to be at home with them on a fulltime basis. I need my time away from them and they need time away from me. BUT that is what suits me.

Best Wishes whatever you decide.

mum1plus1

Hi I am in the same situation as my mat leave ends early jan, DD will be 7months and at the moment I'm not looking forward to going back to work. DS went to nursery full time and is well adjusted as this was what I wanted then but now Id like more at home time to benefit them both. (Hes now a teenager and seems to need me more!!) Its a balancing act between what you need as an individual and what they need and only you (and OH) can work that out. Dont forget tho that any decision doesnt have to be permanent and nobody's perfect. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

spendingmad

I have a 6yoDS & 2yo DD and gave up working 'normal office job' 25hours a week to become a SAHM although I now work from home 25 hours a week doing admin work. DD goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and I do the rest of my working hours in the evening. I love being able go to the all the mums and tots groups etc and I consider myself a SAHM even though I do work. DD is used to being without me (from her mornings at nursery) but we also love spending time together. If you can do some work in the evening I think its the perfect solution.

LondonDiva

Would yoru husband be able to reduce/condense his hours to 4 days a week and be part of parenting cover while you're working? That way he also gets to spend tiem with the baby and really it's only a couple of days that there's nto a parent 100% focused on the baby.

Good luck - whatever decision you make will have a programme or article in the Daily Mail the next week to make you feel guilty, so take a decent amount of time to come to a decision that's right for you.

kettlefish

Thought I would try and add another viewpoint to this! I'm a 20 year old student, but my mum has been a SAHM ever since I was born. I have loved having her around and feel she knows me very very well, helped by being around me so much I expect! We did lots and lots of fun things in the school holidays and things other kids, with childminders, often missed out on, such as going to pick my dad up form work and going straight out for tea or a walk. However,
she is now struggling to get back into the world of work, but since me and my brothers are older, there is less to do around the house, and we're out working/socialising for much of the day. It can end up that she spends 8-10 hours alone, which is even more difficult when my dad's on business (no "adult" company etc) She would like a job, but it's slim pickings at the moment. About 5 years ago she went back to work - hated it! Felt she was leaving her "babies" (I was 15 and brothers 13 and 10 lol)... She (and we!) soon got used to it though. Obviously this shows it's hard leaving your children at any age to start with! So what I'm trying to say is, if your career fills a need in you and it is fulfilling, I'd stick with it and consider adding to/reducing the hours in later years (to suit childcare, finances etc), otherwise it is very hard to get back on the ladder, particularly at a level you find stimulating. My mum had been quite high up before I came along and ruined it all - not saying she regrets it, but being a SAHM is hard too, and can be lonely.