My mate

chevalier

personally i think that behaviour stinks so much that i would report to the social services for neglect of her children.

but defo no way lend her any more money. and yes my step sister is just the same. She has gone bankrupt once, been discharged and now they are in trouble again less than a year later. So much so that they have asked my mum for money. I told her she might as well give it to the compulsive gambler in the family because you still wouldn't get any of it back, but at least you would know it from the start.....
chev

Pollycat

paybacktime2008
I agree with everyone else on here, I'd most definitely not lend them any more money until they realise exactly what their spending priorities should be.

You said you've now 'made up', I'd be interested to hear if it was you who made the first move.
It makes you wonder just how bad these people will let things get before they have their lbm.
It's the kids I feel sorry for.

paybacktime2008

Thankyou everyone for echoing my thoughts. I felt really bad about refusing to lend her the money but know i did the right thing.

newmum1

I used to have a friend like that she was a mum of one and on my pay day would always target me for money nappies sanitary towels anything and i was mug and felt guilty so i always gave yet with her benefits money she managed to top up at least £40 per week yet i topped up £10 every fortnight yet i was the one in full time employment

- my motto now is never lend anything not even £1 cause u wont ask for it back and you will never get it back!

bathgatebuyer

Wow - I can't believe someone could be so selfish when they have children. I don't have kids myself, but I was lucky to be brought up in a house where there was always food on the table regardless of how skint my Mum was.

First and foremost, everyone should eat well and be warm as without that, people can get sick. What if you'd said no? Would she let them go without while she was looking good?! What if you'd had your own financial crisis and had no money to bail her out? How selfish.

kevin_M

paybacktime I never feel bad for saying no. I know this sounds realy harsh but the way i see it its not her thats doing without. Its YOU when u lend her money.

So next time you feel bad for saying no come on here

When my sister in law has her LBM i will help her loads but just not right now

seven-day-weekend

TBH, I wouldn't even make the casserole.It's just encouraging her to be irresponsible if she knows someone will always bail them out.

I know it's not the kids' fault, but maybe if she sees that they are going without just so she can get her nails done it will make her wake up and smell the coffee. She surely won't let the kids starve?

Obviously if the kids ARE going without, i would make the casserole (for the children) and report her to Social Services. Not that they will do anything as 'the child is always better with the mother' as they say.

However they will at least have been alerted.

maz1964

hiya i understand your pain, in trying to help, but ive learnt a very hard lesson this year in doing just that with a so called friend

i wish id only lent her 10 or 20, im in thousands as i helped her not get her house repossessed

now im being left with the debts on my credit card as she is "trying to pay me back",,,has had her nails and hair done this week and i was so cross,,,

i faced repossession of my house due to this this year and now i wish i could just walk away but i cant

keep happy help in only food or other help but never money

ciao laters maz

cornishinfens

We all know what they are doing is wrong, however, they could be living in denial, trying to maintain a lifestyle they can't support - but when loose cash comes available they use it to fulfill the lifestyle they can't afford.

I think to a lesser or greater degree a lot of us have done that before we hit our light bulb moment.

It Think that if you have a solid friendship a sit down over a mug of (not too hot) tea and a chat about it. If they are not careful they may lose everything... We all know its hard being frugal and dealing with debt at first - but with time things get better (if not out nails and eyebrows)
But as a bloke i tend to let my eyebrows and nails do their own thing.

Im sure that if she is desperate to get her eyes and nails done she can get a load of girlfriends together for a "at home" pampering party

Gonna stop there before my thoughts become unclean!!!

tallyhoh

I loaned someone £500 as she had split up with OH & I was led to believe he had took off with her cash. I thought she needed food & petrol money.

She came back with hair extensions as she was going out on the town & several bags of new clothes.

10 months later she has not repaid a penny as she "cant afford it", (single girl living with mom, takes home £1500 a month).

Was nearly persuaded, not by her with all due respect, to loan her money towards buying somewhere to live.

Praise the Lord I came to my senses in time. She probably wont talk to me now, I wonder if thats such a bad thing?