My mate

paybacktime2008

I'm with you SandS!!! I really had to bite my tongue today when I heard about the latest night out!!

skintandscared_2

But it's silly isn't it ... why should WE feel embarrassed about saying something when they are clearly not emabarrassed about asking for food or money and not hiding what luxuries they are still treating themselves to!! Maybe they need to be made to feel a bit guilty. Might make them think a bit!

kevin_M

skintandscared i kinda dont hold back as often as i used to. kinda happened as the person i spoke about earler tryed to use her kids (will not go into details).
I know early in my lightbulb moment how much my family had to go without to get my debts to something i could manage.
and well this xmas im going to make up for it.

vegankris

Oh gosh, this brings back nasty memories of my ex-flatmate to whom I lent thousands of money to for paying the bills, but she squandered her wages on drink, nights out, new clothes etc as soon as she got them without giving me so much as a penny of what she owed back... I let that go on for way, way too long and being treated like this was very damaging to my self esteem.

That's enough ranting about my past for now, but as you can probably tell I'm very bitter about it all! People like this are users, and (if?) she's emotionally blackmailing you into lending her money by invoking her kids then that makes it all the worse.

You've said your piece to her, and hopefully it'll sink in. The suggestion others have made of giving her food not money is a good one.

If she still continues to behave like this, squandering money on luxuries she knows she cannot afford while begging you for money, then, I'm sorry to be so harsh, but honestly, I'd say it's time to ditch the friend. Anyone who continues to behave in such a way after being confronted about their behaviour obviously doesn't value your friendship that much.

Sharon87

Another idea, buy her vouchers for her local supermarket if they ask for money again, although the downside is they may spend on luxuries rather than food.

skintandscared_2

I'd be tempted to go round and take the kids out for a meal on their own!!! Mind you, they'd probably see that as a free babysitter and sneak off down the pub :rolleyes:

moneysavingmaia

i am so with you on this, my ex SIL used to borrow money off us all the time and just came back from her holidays with little pressies for the kids and stuff - but how come she doesnt work and has a house full of all the best money can buy yet i am scrimping and saving, begging for extra hours at work to make ends meet and she gets a weeks holiday !!!!

i am all for the casserole and bags of sweets for the kids :T

paybacktime2008

The one good thing is following 'eyebrowgate' I had my own LBM. I just hope she has hers soon.

hipomad

if they are receiving food parcels and whatever else no wonder she can afford to have a wax treatment.
we now know what to do, get what essentials we can from other people and then you can spend your own money on treats.
they may not be as bad off as the make out.
i did know someone that had played that card for a long time, and moaned that they could on afford a caravan holiday when most of us couldn't even afford that.

Jacks_xxx

Blimey. :eek:

It's not often I come over all judgemental - but what are they doing leeching off other people if they've got the money for beauty treatments???

There was a woman on Oprah a while back who was in debt up to her neck, had sold half her furniture, the house was threatened with foreclosure and her kids had virtually empty wardrobes - but no matter what she always had money for her hair and nails to be done. :rolleyes:

It's either pretty disgusting behaviour or mental illness I'm not sure which.

I've got an acquaintance who struggles when she has to choose between booze / fags and food for her kids. She was solving the problem by visiting everyone she knows at mealtimes and taking them to the church soup kitchen.

Nobody would turn her kids away - and she knows it.

It's a form of manipulative emotional blackmail, taking advantage of people's good nature - and it's messed up - but at least she has an addiction to pin the blame on.

What's Eyebrow Lady's excuse?! :mad:

Love Jacks xxx