need to get money from ex

bookduck

newcook wrote: »

... I am far from controlling - I just wanted him to take some responsibility for a change, to him everything is someone elses fault from his son being born (before he met me) to him being a drinker and drug taker. ...

Never really was your issue how him and his ex partner handled their kids and their relationship. When you were with him you could ask/guide, but not demand. Now you have no input at all, it has nothing to do with you in the slightest any more. Move one!

newcook wrote: »

...as for waiting outside his moms, knowing him he will cause a row with her a couple of days before so he doesn't have to waste precious drinking money on a card/present/phonecall/trainfare.

You could just sit there in the car, about 7 houses away and then gently follow him home, or wait outside his favourite pub and collect you pot of gold via courts, or just keep beating yourself up and get no result, or just move on and chalk it up to experience. Running after the possibly small amount? could make you bitter for years, as it could take that long to get it.

itzmee

My ex also left me with debts which he never contributed towards. We had a child but I never got a penny in maintenance either. Like your ex mine was also into drink and drugs and spent all his money on that. It took me 4 years to repay our debts on my own as a single parent and I got the satisfaction of doing so, as well as getting my life back on an upwards path. However my ex spiralled onto a downwards path and eventually drunk himself to death after living a miserable life in a rotting council flat. If your ex is anything like mine then it doesn't look like you'll get any money back but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you don't owe him a thing - just be grateful that you don't have a child that keeps you tied you to him!

newcook

bookduck wrote: »

Never really was your issue how him and his ex partner handled their kids and their relationship. When you were with him you could ask/guide, but not demand. Now you have no input at all, it has nothing to do with you in the slightest any more. Move one!

I never demanded how he was with his child so I dont inderstand where you have got that from

You could just sit there in the car, about 7 houses away and then gently follow him home, or wait outside his favourite pub and collect you pot of gold via courts, or just keep beating yourself up and get no result, or just move on and chalk it up to experience. Running after the possibly small amount? could make you bitter for years, as it could take that long to get it.

unfortunately I dont have a car and neither does he. plus the last I heard he had moved up north - I would also rather spend the day with my own mother!!

I have already said a few times now that I will let things lie but thanks for your input anyway!

newcook

itzmee wrote: »

My ex also left me with debts which he never contributed towards. We had a child but I never got a penny in maintenance either. Like your ex mine was also into drink and drugs and spent all his money on that. It took me 4 years to repay our debts on my own as a single parent and I got the satisfaction of doing so, as well as getting my life back on an upwards path. However my ex spiralled onto a downwards path and eventually drunk himself to death after living a miserable life in a rotting council flat. If your ex is anything like mine then it doesn't look like you'll get any money back but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you don't owe him a thing - just be grateful that you don't have a child that keeps you tied you to him!

now that is one thing I am soooo grateful for!!!