need to get money from ex

newcook

Hi! Sorry if this is in the wrong place - feel free to move if it is!!

Me and my ex sold our house a couple of months ago - the amount that the house made was swallowed up in mortgage arrears so our solicitors were very kind and agreed that we could pay their fees in installments. At the time, me and my ex were still on good terms and I said that as he wasn’t working I would pay the monthly fee and he would give me some money when he was back working.

He is now working but I am yet to see a penny. He and his new girlfriend now have 2 wages coming in and are able to go out most nights while I have to stay in every night living off basics range and discounted food.

I am now getting really peeved at having to live in poverty paying off what is also his bill while he goes to the pub every night.
I know of his last address (which is his girlfriends parents address) but don’t know his new address, just know they live in the same area. If I was to take this to a small claims court would they be able to find him from this address? Would it be worth doing?

thanks

pinkshoes

If you have his address, then write to him (recorded delivery) saying something along the lines of:

Dear <your ex's name>

On <insert date>, we agreed that as you were not working at the time, I would pay the solicitors fees, then you would pay me back for your half when you got a job.

Now you have a job, could you please pay me the owed sum of money of <£X> by <date in 2 weeks time>. If for any reason you cannot meet this payment date, then please let me know so we can arrange an alternative payment date.

Kind Regards,

<your name>

Give him the two weeks as stated in the letter, and if he doesn't respond, send another letter (recorded delivery again), this time stating that if he doesn't pay the owed money <amount> in 7 days, you'll be taking him to the small claims court to retreive the funds.

newcook

thanks pinkshoes - the only address I have for him is his girlfriends parents. I know they have moved into a place together (he took great pride in telling me that before whispering that he still loved me...!) will this matter??

pinkshoes

newcook wrote: »

thanks pinkshoes - the only address I have for him is his girlfriends parents.

I would ideally try and get his address first. Could you phone him and ask him for his address? If he asks why, just say you need to send him some things. Make it sound interesting, like post from your previous address that had been sent to you by mistake... (ohhh, perhaps he won the premium bonds!!!).

How long have they been living together? You could try 192.com or something to get their address. They might both be registered at the address for council tax or something.

If you can't get the address, then you could try sending it to his g/fs parents address, as they obviously know him, so will have to pass it on.

I would do whatever you can to find out his current address though.

newcook wrote: »

I know they have moved into a place together (he took great pride in telling me that before whispering that he still loved me...!)

What a creep!!

newcook

pinkshoes wrote: »

I would ideally try and get his address first. Could you phone him and ask him for his address? If he asks why, just say you need to send him some things. Make it sound interesting, like post from your previous address that had been sent to you by mistake... (ohhh, perhaps he won the premium bonds!!!)

at the moment he is avoiding my calls because he knows what I am going to ask - I only know this as I called him earlier and witheld the number and he answered - when I said hello he pretended it was a bad line and couldnt hear me lol!!!

pinkshoes wrote: »

What a creep!!

yep!! my thoughts exactly!!


they have only been together a couple of months (moved in together after 3 weeks of knowing each other!! and then got their own flat about 1 month ago)

I found her on facebook earlier and asked her to get him to call me as he seems to be avoiding my calls because he owes me money. knowing him he has said to her that he has given me money - he can be a good liar! she seems like a decent sort so hopefully she will get him to cough up what he owes!

pinkshoes

If you know his work address, I guess you could send it there! Just try and keep it friendly coz he's much more likely to pay up then!

newcook

I am soon to make the last payment on my solicitors bill!!! Yay!!!

However, I am in 2 minds as to wether to find my ex and take him to court for half the money I have paid out on our behalf. Part of me is thinking leave it he is a waster but the other part of me is thinking why the hell should he walk away scot-free and living the life of riley when I have spent the last 7/8 months living on a shoestring paying a debt that was ours.

Bit of background for those who don’t know - me and ex bought a house, ex decided work interfered too much in his hobby (drinking) so packed it in and left me to pay as many bills as I could, finally decided I had had enough and split up with him and put house on the market but there wasn’t enough equity to cover the bills so solicitor very kindly said we could pay monthly instalments - this was last august/september and to date ex hasn’t paid a penny.

I don’t know where he is living these days but could get hold of his NI details quite easily - would the courts accept this to take payment from him/locate where he is living?

Steel_2

Cut your losses. Whatever it cost you, it was worth the money to be rid of him.

Chase him for the money and he stays in your life and in your thoughts irritating you for longer than he should.

He's not forked out for anything so far, so your chances of getting anything from him are probably quite slim anyway.

iceicebaby

Id say leave it and move on. Don't waste any more thought time and money on him.

Gingham_Ribbon

You deserve better than this. I'm sorry for what you've been through.

I agree with the others. He's out of your life now and trying to change that may lead to more stress and upset.

newcook

That was my main instinct to just leave it but as I said there was a bit of me that wants to make him pay both emotionally and financially like I have had to!! He is the type that will get himself into all sorts of carp but come out the victor smelling of roses - I suppose I wanted to make him see that this wouldn’t be 'one of those things' he could mess up and walk away from.

As for NI details, it’s the number that I have the details of, nothing else. It was on paperwork from a while ago that he asked me to keep hold of for him (when we were still together).

He had promised to pay half of the bill as he said he 'wouldn’t want to screw me over'.

toots - the house was in joint names so the debt was also in both.