Hidden Disabilities Time To Fight Back

McKneff

Ma_Belarch wrote: »

I often experience problems with disabled parking bays too - like Bluedog's friend, it seems I'm considered too young to have a genuine reason to use them! The worst culprits seem to be the senior generation; I've lost count of the times I've been tutted or gestured at - I just tend to make a very visible show of getting my badge out of the glove compartment.

The best, though, was just yesterday when I used a different train station to my normal one. A member of staff, who happened to be walking across the car park, stopped me from going into the disabled bay - he waved his arms to let me know it was a 'no-no' and pointed me to the main body of the car park. I smiled sweetly (through gritted teeth) and carried on, at which point he then shouted to tell me to go through to the main car park, that this was a disabled bay and I couldn't park there... I carried on anyway and parked up. He then stormed over to the car, still shouting at me, at which point I opened the window and thrust my card in his face. As with Bluedog's friend, he was most apologetic but, as I told him, the damage had been done - as a woman on her own, I found his bullying attitude unacceptable. I asked for his name, which he did give me - I'm seriously thinking about making a formal complaint....

Grrrrrr :mad: Drives me mad!!!

Yes, his attitude and his presumption was very bad and you have probably made him think twice before doing it in future, but dont be too hard on him. In essence he was looking after all disabled people, protecting their parking bays from the rotters who do park in them without disability.

Pssst

Can anyone give examples of hidden disability?

There are very clear conditions which would be disabling despite best endeavours but then there are some conditions which are more natural variances in the human condition rather than a disability.

Is there an official list somewhere that you can check and see if your condition is classified as a disability or is it more a case of whether you yourself perceive that it is disabling?

Taffyscot

Hi all,

A few weeks ago my other half and myself had a harrowing morning at the dentist's where he had to get some teeth out and some filled. I then asked him if we could go to Tesco's as we don't have one in our small town. He is an angel and even tho worn out said of course we could.
I drove to the huge mega Tescos and drove around and around the parking lot 3 times and all of the disabled stalls were taken and there are many at this Tescos. The third time I drove around I said I would drop him off but he needs me to get his elbow sticks out of the car so it is not an easy feat stopping somewhere. Anyway I spotted a mum and child parking place quite a bit further away than the disabled part but still a lot closer than the nearest parking.
Ahahhaa I thought this will do and I will be able to help him. Actually when we go if I can get a cart for him he uses the cart instead of the sticks and puts the sticks inside the cart. You see he has Parkinson's disease and along with all the shaking that comes with Parkinson's he also freezes in space and cannot get going but to make matters worse he is afraid of losing his balance as well as being stuck in place. When he has something to lean on he can then walk fine unafraid of being pushed over and not looking so hopeless when he can't move. Well I parked there and got the disabled sticker out of the glove box and a woman in her late twenties started shouting out of her window that that stall was for mum's and tots. I said I am awfully sorry I realise that but my hubby is disabled and we cannot find a parking place. She started ranting and raving at me that she was going to report me to the security and get the police. I said those stalls are put there for consideration but are not legally binding. She then started yelling at me that a parking place had become available for disabled and by this time poor hubby was staggering around the side of the car holding on for dear life. I told her very politely that by the time I got him back in the car and drove around there it would be gone and he would find it extremely diffiicult to get back in and out of the car again.
I kind of ignored her shouting then as to see to my hubby was more important so I got the elbow braces and crutches out of the car for him and I thought this would embarrass the woman and she would actually apologise and say that she did not realise that he was really disabled.
Did she hell? She started screaming from her car that she worked with our types in the hospital and we were a bunch of fakers. She had seen many people like us in the hospital and she was sick of people like us. I said "no my husband has a recognised disability, a blue badge and we did not produce the elbow crutches out of thin air". She said "if he's that damn crippled then put him in a wheel chair" He will be in one of those soon enough but for now we are not letting Parkinsons take anything away from him before it has to. I wanted the earth to swallow me up and I felt so ashamed for my poor old hubby. If there was ever a time that I wanted to have a fight with someone in a parking lot over a parking space it was then.
We saw her later in the shop and she was with one child who was about 5 or 6 perfectly healthy and could walk fine. She was still shouting abuse at us in the store and we both left the store in tears. I felt so humiliated for my hubby who never complains, never looks for sympathy and gets on with trying to do everything.
I realise the parent and child parking lots are there for a reason but what is wrong with a healhy 20 year old with one child ; and not pregnant or not with several children; walking a few extra steps that it takes my husband 10 minutes to walk? Is the world gone mad or am I being totally unreasonable?
Thanks for letting me rant but all of you out there you are not alone.
Taffy

Pssst

Taffyscot..that is absolutley outrageous and was incredibly rude and bad mannered of this lunatic woman.

In supermarkets and other private places (as opposed to public roads) disabled parking bays and mother/child parking bays are not legally enforceable as you say. Its a courtesy thing.

I personally would never park in a disabled bay as i dont want to give anyone a hard time that might be elderely,infirm or not too good on their feet. Needless to say,plenty of people abuse it.
OTOH i give no quarter to mother/child parking bays as they are presumable fit and healthy and can walk perfectly well and therefore there shouldnt be any bays for them. I didnt ask them to have a pack of kids after all so why should i be inconvenienced to give way to them?

Perhaps they can put in bays for myopic,back backed,knackered people like me and then i can have one too?

My symapthies Taffy..i dont know how you resisted giving her a bat in the mouth..

Savvy_Sue

I think the reasoning for the free carer's entry is that a non-disabled person could go on their own, whereas if a disabled person requires assistance then it might be considered unfair to have to pay for two people to get in.

Indeed, there are - or at least WERE - some places where someone in a wheelchair would not be admitted on their own without an able bodied carer. I guess that's how it started.

fedupconsumer

that's really bad taffy if i were you i would have contacted security and the management of the store and had her banned from the store due to her abusive and hostile nature it has been done before. I had the same problem with someone in marks and spencer and they banned the man from the store . You are not being unreasonable at all big hugs .

mcspanna

Pssst wrote: »

Can anyone give examples of hidden disability?

There are very clear conditions which would be disabling despite best endeavours but then there are some conditions which are more natural variances in the human condition rather than a disability.

Is there an official list somewhere that you can check and see if your condition is classified as a disability or is it more a case of whether you yourself perceive that it is disabling?

Hi Pssst,

An interesting question. I'm not aware of any list as such although I could list many, there must be literally hundreds if not thousands! MSE Martin has made it clear that for the purposes of this forum at least, disability is on a self-definition basis.

If you take a look at the Sticky "What counts as disability" that I started, this gives the 'official' legal definition of disability for the UK and covers people who are consumers, employees and students/pupils but depending on the context, different organisations will use different definitions. For example, you are usually only able to use a 'disabled' parking space if you have a blue badge, despite the fact that you may have a condition which means that you are considered to be a disabled person under the law.

Hope that helps?

mcspanna

mouseymousey99

Hello Taffyscot - Good grief....
What effect does it have on the children who see this and think this is how you treat people?
I'm so sorry this happend to you both.
Mx

Pssst

Indeed Mousey,i cringed when i read it and even though im a moaning,judgmental old git,this behavour border on inhumane. She needed a slap.

mcspanna

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I think the reasoning for the free carer's entry is that a non-disabled person could go on their own, whereas if a disabled person requires assistance then it might be considered unfair to have to pay for two people to get in.

Indeed, there are - or at least WERE - some places where someone in a wheelchair would not be admitted on their own without an able bodied carer. I guess that's how it started.

Hi Sue,

Yes I'd forgotten about this one, it's not happened for a long time but I have been banned from places/not let in because I'm a fire hazard/just because! Personally, I think it would be cool if I could spontaneously combust at will but unfortunately I can't :cool: EDIT: and more to the point could get myself out in a fire unassisted

Technically excluding disabled people like this is now illegal under the Disability Discrimination Act but unfortunately that doesn't extend to making you feel welcome! I am very thick skinned and generally carry on regardless but people will often go out of their way to try and insist that somewhere/something is unsuitable for me. At the end of the day I'm an adult, I know my own limits and often do a good deal of research before going somewhere but sadly, it will take at least a generation for attitudes to truly change.

The assistance angle is interesting, despite being a wheelchair user I generally don't need any assistance, but I do need supervision. It's something that has been debated in the past over the free carer's entry - "well we only let people in free if they push the person in the wheelchair...you can do it yourself" :mad:

All the best,

Mcspanna