Hidden Disabilities Time To Fight Back

Miss_Cinnabon

Thanks for this lovely thread, i am used to peoples comments and stares, my son has type 1 diabetes and i am sick of hearing that it is my sons fault or mine that he has it, there is very little understanding and most people associate type 2 with having diabetes.

When we were in florida, we bypassed the queues as my son does not handle heat very well and certainly couldnt wait for a long time, so got a pass that put him right through, only got one comment from a lady, who shouted why were we getting through, when they had been waiting a while, but overall we didnt come across any problems, if that had been this country though it would have been a lot different.

I know the themeparks here, dont class diabetes as a valid reason to get a pass, which is a lot of rubbish, i know fellow mums have had to stand arguing with the staff as to why they need one, in the end they have managed to get one, 2 years ago we were at legoland, wasnt aware we could have asked for a pass then and had to miss a lot of the rides as it was too long a wait and the temp was well over 30.

shykins

aah i get this a lot, i have mobility problems but of course they arent always apparent at first or second glance, also have taken to using a stick just so people realise i do have a problem, also it makes them give me a wider berth as if i get knocked it can really hurt

on a side note i was told by legoland, chessington etc that unless i had a wheelchair i could not get 'special' access to rides, i had written tothem explaining that i was simply not able to queue for long periods for rides and that was the response i got

x

mouseymousey99

Just to give this a different slant. I have a wheelchair, which I loathe using. The first week, we were on holiday. I sat with my partner when along came a lady & her husband. The 'lady' grabbed me by the shoulder and started talking very s-l-o-w-l-y (you get the idea)...
'Are you having a nice holiday'? Hard to describe but in the way some adults speak to children...it was awful just awful..
my partner by now had to hide his face - dreading what I was going to say/do next.....
I was too dumbstruck to do much (if you knew me you would know how amazing that was....)
anyways, the whole thing has left me with a total wheely phobia - I dread it - so I use my stick.....unfortunate I realise but the 'does he take sugar' brigade are alive, well and out there.......

somebody_else

jaxw17 wrote: »

I have said for a long time that the badge should be displayed with the photo showing that would also stop abuse of the badge by being used by "family members"

Unfortunately, that would make the more vulnerable members of society instantly identifyable to the less pleasant members of society.

I have no problem with showing the photo to anyone who has good reason to ask (police, traffic wardens, car park attendants, etc) but I would object most strongly to being expected to advertise what I look like to any passing thug looking for an easy target.

ivyleaf

I remember some years ago there was a Government campaign to make people such as bank and shop staff more aware of hidden disabilities. There was an ad in the papers - I think it was written by Theresa May. Among other things, it pointed out "For instance, a person with M.E. will find it very difficult to stand in a queue and may need to be served quickly." Very admirable, but as a person with M.E. I don't know what we're meant to do - shout out "Excuse me, I've got M.E.!" and push to the front of the queue? It would be lovely if I could - but I'm sure I would get a barrage of abuse from the people who were queueing. There isn't usually a member of staff to speak to about it when you join a queue.

If I am feeling well enough to shop for clothes and try something on, I always ask to use the "special needs" cubicle, but sometimes I've had to leave the queue and go and sit down somewhere because there was no one to speak to about it. And the last time I used the special needs cublcle in M & S, there was a lady in a wheelchair waiting outside to use it, so I called out that I was being as quick as I could, and when I came out there was a member of staff waiting with her who gave me an absolutely filthy look because I didn't look as if I needed the special needs cubicle. I did have my stick with me that day but had left it with my husband, as I was afraid I'd leave it in the cubicle. I know I could, in theory, have told the assistant why I was using that cubicle, but after trying on 2 pairs of trousers I just didn't have the energy!

Pixie - thank you for explaining about the difficulty your DS has with long queues - I must admit I'd never realised diabetes caused problems like that, but I don't know much about Type 1 diabetes. I'm embarrassed to say that I'd thought as long as the person with diabetes had had their insulin all would be more or less hunky dory . I've recently been on a "Diabetes X-pert patient" course with my DH, but everyone on the course had Type 2 and no one was on insulin yet so we didn't go into that side of it at all.

Shykins - how very unhelpful of the theme parks! I won't bother to try going to those, then! Actually it's not just unhelpful, it's ignorant.

Miss_Cinnabon

thanks ivyleaf and sorry to hear of the issues you have come across, people are just narrow minded and dont even want to understand, i have now come to a point where why should i explain myself, just get so fed up with the comments.

my ds will not manage long queues at all, he is at risk of hypo attacks at any time and waiting in a long queue esp in the heat, will cause him to just drop, as you have said many people just dont realise what type 1's have to deal with in a reg basis, the media is to blame a lot for the misunderstanding between type 1 and 2, if u see an article or interview it will always be type 2 and how it their own fault because they are overweight, they have had too many sweets etc and how it is costing the nhs so much money.

Many type 1 children wear insulin pumps and there is even less understanding with those.

my son gets middle rate dla, because of the care that he needs

fedupconsumer

cheers all for your fantastic replies we have to fight back for what we are entitled too and try and change society's perceptions i know its a very Jamie Oliver type stance alla Ministry Of Food but i trully belive that if we demand fair and equal treatment and educate people where ever we can this country may start to change. Cheers Jay11 for your kind words much appreciated.

"There is nothing worse than being challenged by some idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about"

Absolutely and they are not in any position to judge .

"My disability is hidden. I get funny looks when i use my bus pass and shop keepers never believe that it's my pacemaker setting off their alarm."

Im sorry Glawejen its not on is it i hope you complained to the manger as well

"Disability parking bays ..... a friend of mine had the *best* comment I've heard yet. She is in her 30's and has hidden illnesses. They pulled up into the bay and before having time to reach for her badge, an elderly gent opened the drivers door (she's the passenger) to begin a lecture on mis-use of disabled facilities. Somewhat dumb-founded by this and not getting a chance to get a word on, she casually picked up her badge and held it up photo facing him (not nastily) as he continued his tirade. The gent faltered and spluttered before sayig in meeker tones ... "but you're too young to be disabled"

I have to agree with this bluedog a lot of elderly people think its a sole trait of people with disability to be old its a common misconception glad she stuck up for her self .

"I'm seriously thinking about making a formal complaint...."

I would Ma Berlarch they have to learn from their mistake and it did cause you undue embarasment and thats not on.

"My son is ASD, he does not have a blue badge or anything but I don't really take him anywhere as when he has tantrums , hit me or runs off it just makes it look like I cannot control him.

There is not enough understanding of Autism in this day and age."

Its still a bit of a taboo subject Autism in my opinion its like people dont want to talk about it do you find that Blue Monkey?

" I don't offer my seat for other people I get snotty remarks and tutted at because 'in their day and age people gave up seats' I would quite happily give my seat up if standing for the 35 minute journey home wasn't gonna mean I would struggle and be in pain for the rest of the day."

I know what you mean i have gone past caring about situations like that its their beef if they cannot accept the fact that you need the seat if others were so concerned then why dont they move dont feel threatened.

"Just to give this a different slant. I have a wheelchair, which I loathe using. The first week, we were on holiday. I sat with my partner when along came a lady & her husband. The 'lady' grabbed me by the shoulder and started talking very s-l-o-w-l-y (you get the idea)...
'Are you having a nice holiday'? Hard to describe but in the way some adults speak to children...it was awful just awful..
my partner by now had to hide his face - dreading what I was going to say/do next...."

That behaviour is totally unexeptable i dont get why people speak to people that way .

clairec79

I'm surprised most people think type 2 when diabetes is mentioned (especially with kids). I automatically think insulin dependent unless it's someone over 50ish.

Maybe because I knew a type 1 diabetic in junior school? but it took ages when I started my midwifery training to remember not all diabetics were on insulin.

Having read that back to myself now though I've realised I don't like the fact that I do obviously judge on age - that was what led to problems with me being dianosed with pernious anaemia (because textbooks say it affects those over 60 and I wasn't even half that age)

Horace

My disability is hidden - I am partially sighted, I have 98% vision loss in my left eye and am short sighted in the right one, I also have back problems following a car accident in 1995 which means that my back siezes up if I have to stand for longer than 5 minutes.

I tried to get DLA because I do need some help but because I can actually buy food and plan a meal and cook it then it would seem that I can't get it because I am not disabled enough (the DWP's remarks not mine). It would appear that I am disabled enough to get a DEA at the Jobcentre and to receive help from Access to Work but not to get DLA:rolleyes:

I admit to sitting in the disabled seats on the bus and when I have to travel to London on National Express then I can get a disabled ticket. Birmingham Focus on Blindness have even suggested that I carry a white stick with me which I would do but I don't want to make myself into a target for hoodlums. As a result of my vision loss I find now that I only go out in the day and never at night, I can drive without restriction but find that the lights dazzle me so again I don't drive at night.

I can remember going on a ski trip (my chap skis, I don't but I love snow) and it wasnt long after I had eye surgery so I was a huge amount of eye drops. On the coach going to the resort, I reclined my seat slightly so that I could rest my eyes and received a torrent of abuse from the people sitting behind, plus they spent the entire 2hr coach trip kicking the back of my seat which hadnt been fully reclined. Needless to say my chap gave them what for to which point their response was that people like me shouldn't go on holiday and that we should be put in a home:mad: I have come to the conclusion that I am a witch of sorts because I did wish them some harm, when it came to the end of the holiday and this crowd were on the same coach going back to the airport two of them had broken legs, one and a broken arm and the other a broken shoulder:rotfl: Serves them right.

I got on the bus the other day to find a rather fat woman had plonked herself in one of the disabled seats (nowt wrong with that normally) but she managed to block the aisle and access to one seat with a pushchair when there was plenty of room in the pushchair area to accommodate her and said child. Someone (not me) asked her to move so she replied "I have paid for my ticket" - the chap that asked her to move had to sit elsewhere and he was on crutches. It really irritates me when folks have a seat on the bus and then plonk their shopping on the adjacent vacant seat and then they glare at you so now I have taken to just sitting down on top of their shopping and when they make comment I say "oh, sorry, I thought the seat was vacant I didnt see your shopping" - who cares if I have squashed their cakes:rotfl:

Another thing that irritates me - why is that disabled people have to pay an entrance fee to an attraction but their carer goes free? How does that work out?

celticmoneysaver

So much of this rings a bell..Thanks guys nice to know I'm not the only one;)

I moved in to Sheltered Accomadation this year and hoped at least some of my neighbours would be acceptive..but as most are very elderly..or very ill..it is hasn't worked out that way., it is very hard work most won't even acknowledge you..
I have always found pensioners toughest to cope with..stroke is just a taboo word..and besides you are young you can't possibly equate your problems to mine..apologies to those who do have a wider perception..
They just don't get it that I felt 90 at 34! and have been working backwards to my real age ever since....still not made it
I wish they would realise even with their current frailites most of them can still outdo my energy limits..I can't keep up with them:eek:

Here's to keeping this going :T