Hidden Disabilities Time To Fight Back

FROSTYFRECKLE

Just been reading this thread and found it interesting the number of people who have the elderly problematic, my hubby has experienced the opposite. We have found younger people are ignorant so and so's. My hubby is now obviously disabled but a few years ago when he showed only slight problems the elderly were far more understanding. When hubby got on a bus it was always a wee old lady getting up off her seat and saying "you sit here son". My hubby was always embarrassed by this kindness but very grateful. I have wondered how these old ladies could see there was something wrong with my hubby - he's 6'6' and built like a gable end. I agree the issue seems to lie with a lack of respect for people around us.

zzzLazyDaisy

Ames wrote: »

What/where is the disability thread that people are complaining about, I must have missed that completely.

Can I just say, if you see a post that you find objectionable, please hit the red triangle in the bottom left corner and report it.

This board is for disabled/ill people, and their families/friends/carers and professionals who work with them to share experiences and support each other. It is not for the 'have a go' brigade. Often objectionable remarks are also discriminatory, and I have found that the abuse team are very quick to remove those posts when they are reported.

So please don't think you have to put up with nasty or ignorant remarks

Daisy x

mcspanna

Another thing that irritates me - why is that disabled people have to pay an entrance fee to an attraction but their carer goes free? How does that work out?

Horace,

I both my partner and I use wheelchairs when out and about. The BIGGEST bugbear I have is that my partner (who very legitimately claims carer's allowance for me) is often unable to get in to places as a free carer because he is in a wheelchair! !!!!!!! I have a hidden condition in addition to my physical impairment which could kill me within a matter of hours without warning and therefore I have no choice but to be accompanied wherever I go by someone who knows exactly what to do in an emergency, just in case.

I have lost count of the times that we have joked to eachother how irresponsible it is of us to even consider that we can go out as a couple and forget to take an able-bodied carer with us! We usually end up having to pay full adult prices for both of us at most places we go because it just isn't worth the hassle (or humiliation) of having to explain to every tom !!!!!! and harry all the details...either that or some patronising person will let us both in completely for free, usually accompanied by the _extra slow_ speaking mentioned earlier in this thread...something which we also take particular offence at as we both have degrees and no cognitive impairments! Just for the record we work and are quite happy to pay our way, but it would be nice if the rules were applied consistently, I've never actually seen a sign at any of these establishments specifically excluding disabled people from also being carers for someone else!

Sorry...just needed to get that off my chest!:eek:

zzzLazyDaisy

I have hidden disabilities which have a significant impact on my life (I get HRM and HRC DLA and have a live in carer).

Often my disabilities are very obvious - but Joe public never gets to see them as that's when I'm bed bound or house bound...

On my good days when I'm up to going out, I can walk although I tire rapidly so I can't walk far and can't stand in a queue etc. Sometimes I use my stick - it is useful to lean on if I have to stand, but mainly I use it as a visual clue.

I have lost count of the number of times I have been challenged, and the worse of it is - I feel so guilty for not looking as if I'm disabled (and yes, i do realise how daft that is...).

The worst time was at a BA check in desk a few years ago. I had booked wheelchair assistance, but had opted not to take my own w/ch as my carer took me to the check-in desk, and my sister was meeting me at the other end. The check-in clerk pointed to a long queue and told me that I wouldn't need assistance as the departure gate was not far away, once I was airside. When I insisted that I couldn't manage my medical bag on my own and wouldn't be able to stand in the queue, she said 'well how did you manage to get this far then?' It was horrible.

Oh, and the insensitive way that the people on the security check dragged my colostomy supplies out of my bag in front of everyone........

Horace

mcspanna wrote: »

Horace,

I both my partner and I use wheelchairs when out and about. The BIGGEST bugbear I have is that my partner (who very legitimately claims carer's allowance for me) is often unable to get in to places as a free carer because he is in a wheelchair! !!!!!!! I have a hidden condition in addition to my physical impairment which could kill me within a matter of hours without warning and therefore I have no choice but to be accompanied wherever I go by someone who knows exactly what to do in an emergency, just in case.

I have lost count of the times that we have joked to eachother how irresponsible it is of us to even consider that we can go out as a couple and forget to take an able-bodied carer with us! We usually end up having to pay full adult prices for both of us at most places we go because it just isn't worth the hassle (or humiliation) of having to explain to every tom !!!!!! and harry all the details...either that or some patronising person will let us both in completely for free, usually accompanied by the _extra slow_ speaking mentioned earlier in this thread...something which we also take particular offence at as we both have degrees and no cognitive impairments! Just for the record we work and are quite happy to pay our way, but it would be nice if the rules were applied consistently, I've never actually seen a sign at any of these establishments specifically excluding disabled people from also being carers for someone else!

Sorry...just needed to get that off my chest!:eek:

I am sorry to have caused you some offence - I was just making a comment because I have been told in numerous places that I have visited that I have to pay whereas my partner can get in free as my 'carer'. I was just wondering why this is so, that's all:rolleyes:

nanokitten

McSpanner, that sounds like it should be illegal! What does everyone else think. I suppose it depends on what the reasoning is behind the free carer policy. Do you take a copy of the carers award letter? as that might (in principle) have helped.
I think we'd all like to hear exactly what organisations have treated you like this. perhaps it would be worth writing a stiff letter suggesting that your next port of call will be your MP and the local press. I can just imagine the headlines... it could be very embarrasing for a big organisation.

let us know how you get on...

shykins

its mad isnt it, we dont want to actually publicise our disabilities but in another way feel that we have to

i was queuling for a toilet the other day and ds (11) said to me mummy why dont u use the disabled toilet u are allowed... i was like well duuuh course i can so i did despite the dirty looks i got
x

mcspanna

Don't worry Horace, you haven't caused me any offence at all - sorry if my post wasn't clear! It's simply that your post reminded me of my particular bugbear and I went off on a bit of a rant...reciprocal apologies for any confusion!

Nanokitten, I'm sure it is illegal and we have managed to fight it on a few occasions, but to be fair it is such a common occurence it is generally a choice between a constant political struggle or deciding to put up with it for the sake of a nice day out! We only recently got the carer's allowance and thereofore the required 'proof' so will be giving this a go in the future (also looking into getting OH a carer's card as I wasn't aware of these until reading this forum) the bit that gets my goat though is that if you have an able bodied carer with you no proof is generally asked for, but when it is someone with a visible disability it is automatically assumed that you are trying it on when presenting them as your carer. Of course the able-bodied carer could also have a hidden disability...I'll stop now, I'm starting to confuse myself!!!

I do have a list, and have seriously considered outing them, but not sure how that would sit with MSE forum rules?! <evilgrin>

fedupconsumer

"I have lost count of the number of times I have been challenged, and the worse of it is - I feel so guilty for not looking as if I'm disabled (and yes, i do realise how daft that is...)."

Ah dont feel like that its not your fault or feeling daft thinking that way i sometimes do feel the same way. Im under 30 years of age and its a shock to a lot of people when i tell them about my disability but sometimes its a case of looking out for no 1.
As nanokitten suggests writing a letter to the company concerned would be beneficial if not for getting it off your chest but making sure that companies are not getting away with such discriminative behaviour. There is nothing in the letter of the law that says a carer has to be "able bodied" or not in a wheelchair that excuse just does not cut it .

neiljc_2

tiannaleigh wrote: »

.

my 3year old daughter has autism and I have the very same problem with her in shops.I have to go the chemist every week to pick a prescription up for myself,and the pharmacist last week told me I wasnt allowed to bring her into the shop anymore as she is to noisy and this could lead to him making mistakes.I tried to explain she is autistic ,but he just replied "we dont see that we just see a distruptive child",and I would have to make alternative arrangements for her when i come in.I have nobody else that can look after her,she doesnt even go nursery yet,as they wont have her until she has a support worker.He wouldnt beleive me and just replied"of course you can make other arrangements"
Of all the shops I have ever been in with my little girl,I have never ever seen anybody treat her so badly,

Hi tiannaleigh

whether the chemist is a large one or a small one they still have to meet the obligations of the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA). Requiring you not to bring your child in or instructing you that she is not allowed in because of a reason related to her disability is illegal and leaves them open to a case of discrimination.

In addition if when you raise this with them they then were to refuse to serve you this would also be discrimination in the form of harassment under the DDA.

This is a very slippery slope for them,
if you have any problems contact your local disability rights group who will be happy to support you in being treated fairly

If you need it just let me know and I will find the exact wording of the passages of the act they are contravening

Neil;)

Neil