advice bereavement

paul2louise

I am 32 and i lost my 30year brother on tuesday. i need to help my mum with things and i want to sort out all his credit cards and banking type things. Also is there way of finding out any other financial connections he might have had if i cant find all the paperwork straight away. How are financial people in dealing with" i need to talk to the person" and "confidentiality" ie i am not him will they discuss things with me.

i am finding it very difficult and would love any support and advice and maybe any websites or helplines. I know this isnt all money related but people are always so helpful on this website

please help if you can




Louise

£Ronnie

Hi Louise,
Sorry I'm afraid I have no information that you need, just wanted to offer you condolences, for what they are worth at this time. Well done you for helping your Mum, you will probably both need each others support getting through this.
And hang on in there I am sure someone who knows what they are on about will reply to your question soon.

Big Hugs.
Ronnie.

Savvy_Sue

I am so sorry to hear this, it must be horrible for both you and your mum. I can't offer any specific advice either, but if you go to the local library I am sure there will be a book you can borrow. I do know that you will need lots of copies of the death certificate as some organisations will not accept a copy as 'proof' that the person has died, so when you register the death it's worth bearing this in mind.

It may make a difference as to how things are dealt with if he left a will, so if you post the answer to that someone may give more specific advice.

All the best.

purplepurple

What to do when someone dies

Hi paul2louise.... hope the above link is useful, there are links to other sites and a checklist at the bottom .... just wanted to say sorry for your loss *hug*

SkippyB

Hi

it's very difficult to deal with times like these and words can be inadequate. Take your time and try not to do everything at once. People will understand and remember to take time out for yourself. Try CRUSE, they may help.

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

With regards to the financial side, don't worry too much about that at this stage. Deal with things one day at a time, you will find that most financial institutions will deal with you sympathetically and non intrusively. They may ask for some paperwork but dont rush into things like that at the moment. If any letters are received, make a short phone call and explain the situation. There are booklets that you can pick up from your local government offices that will also provide you with help and advice.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/RightsAndResponsibilities/RightsAndResponsibilitiesArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=10026936&chk=A9yBfw


Hope this helps.

With love.

Bossyboots

Hi Louise

I am so sorry for your loss.

I echo all that skippy says.

What Sue says about a will is right. If you can let us know firstly if there is one as posting all the ifs, buts and maybes will make for very complicated reading and right now you need us to be as clear as possible. If we know the situation in relation to a will, we can just guide you along the relevant track.

One aspect that may be important right now though is that I have always found that if there is a bank account with sufficient funds, the bank will pay the funeral expenses direct to the undertaker if you send them the account. This may alleviate any worry you or your mum has about paying for that.

paul2louise

update

We have found no will. My brother died but thehospital have had to issue a interim certificate a there is unknown cause of death. we are able to arrange a funeral for next friday so at lest he can be at rest intime for Christmas.

i have his bank cards etc but will the fact we havent gota final death certificate stop me from dealing with things. Itcould take months to find out a cause. Will we be able to sell his house. We are managing with money as my dad is helping financially with the costs.

thanks for all your help and advice

louise

Bossyboots

If you are sure there is no will, someone is going to have to apply for Letters of Administration before you can deal with his estate. When estate values are very low then some organisations will let you proceed without but as he has a property, at the very least you cannot sell that without the proper documentation. This leaflet http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/pa2_0805.pdf tells you about doing this.

mountainofdebt

from me.....not a pleasant thing to have to do at any time of year but it must be extra hard this close to Christmas.

Hubby lost his dad back last month and what we did was to go through his drawers and literally put everything we could find in carrier bags, brought it home and then went through it, putting all the relevant stuff in a file so we could go back through it and make a list of all the companies we had to contact.

Another thing you could you is get your brother's mail redirected. You will need to take a copy of his death to the post office together with id for you when you arrange this and his mail (including financial stuff) will filter its way through to you. (To cut down on junk mail, we've also registered his dad's name with the mps at https://www.mpsonline.org.uk)

I'm sure that the companies involved have had experience of situations like this athough I would imagine that they will need sight of a death certificate, although I would also imagine that the interim one will suffice.

hth

cheekymole

Thinking of you, hope the pain eases,

Hugs to you and your family

paul2louise

i have all his papers now. We are still waiting for the interim certificate to arrive in the post. The proper certificate could take months as they need to do further tests and there is likely to be a inquest.
i will make a start on monday to cancel things

thank you all for your support


Louise