now on antidepressants due partly to debt, is it time for a dmp?

GeorgeUK

Some savings from the monthly expenditure and reducing the interest will hopefully start to make an impact. The only reason i can currently meet my payments is because i have a 0% Virgin money card (MBNA do the same type of deal i think). 15 months 0% interest , minimum payment 1st month is 3% (BT fee) then £25 minimum thereafter.

Gemmzie

The phone and internet package is really high! We have £12 BT line rental, then free calls and broadband with Sky. Could you do something similar?

Those petrol costs are so high! Is your car economical? I don't think a DMP would allow you that much.

Otherwise, I definitely think you'd be an ideal candidate for a DMP

megisabel

do you know if they will have me if my dh is employed but i am officially registered as self employed though not working

the petrol works out at about a full tank each a week, is that really excessive?

i think i am tied in with carphone warehouse, this includes broadband, line rental and with calls it always comes to around 65, think we probably call too many mobiles.

I have been doing a lot of reading and I think dmp is the way to go, there is no way that i am making any inroads in this debt the way it is and i have to accept i have a pretty serious spending problem and dont think i have the willpower to resist new credit

Gemmzie

That's a huge amount! I have a 1.4l car and it's about £40 to fill my tank. Yours works out at over £80 :eek:

Who's names are the debts in? Yours, his or joint?

If you're calling a lot of mobiles, is it worth getting a cheap PAYG phone to use? See if you can work out from your bill which networks you're calling and how much it is costing.

megisabel

the petrol costs are to run two cars though?

we both have payg mobiles - the 25 listed under mobiles is 10 topup on his and 15 on mine - the minimum topup required to get free texts

i have just done another cccs calculator and it seems to have come out more favourably this time and offered a DMP dont know if i have missed something though?

Gemmzie

A DMP is suitable if you have money left over (CCCS work on £100+) once you take your outgoings from your income, so in your case £2510 (in) minus £2193.60 (out) leaves you £316.40 to pay your debts.
Hope that makes sense.

marklunn3602

Hi Megisabel

I notice that your other half doesn't know about this? I'm also the other half that had no idea and this is the third time it's happened. Throughout our relationship I've never been able to trust the OH with cash but due to building up a lot of depts myself a few years ago and then clearing them by putting them on the mortgage I then stuck my head in the sand and left the accounts for the OH to sort out as I'd built up a fear of the banks, cash machine, letters etc. For the last 2 years I haven't had any credit and thought we we're doing really well as the OH said we were! This is without doubt my fault!

It turns out that the OH was covering up a whole heap of dept and telling me everything was fine as she knew I cant stand the thought of being in dept again and that I despise credit cards.

Well, it all came out last week and I immediatley took my head out of the sand and got to work. I did this as I just couldn't stand going back to waking up every morning to that awful feeling of the constant headaches caused by the stress of wondering how the hell we were going to pay the debts.

It sounds easy but it wasn't. This week I've done 2 things that I haven't dared do for over two years. First I took myself to a cash machine and checked the balance and then I went home and opened the post I thought were from creditors. It took a hell of a lot of doing for me and from then on I've spent several hours per day for the past 5 days trawling through the finances and getting advice but !!!!!! me do I feel a hell of a lot better because I can now see where we're going and what we've got.

My OH used the excuse in the past that the money had gone on 'just stuff' which I never beleived and then went and did the ostrich thing.
However this time when the OH used the same tale I actually read the bank statements and was gobsmacked to see that OH wasn't lying.
2k per month on !!!!!! all but shopping and she now agrees and admits that she has a shopping addiction.

I have to shoulder the blame for some of this as I've in effect turned a blind eye in the past as I knew I wasn't man enough to face the consequences.
Not this time let me tell ya!
Tomorrow we're off to the Doctors to find some help with the addiction. We've spoken to Payplan & CCCS, done the soa and are now sorting the budget.

My point (after all that) is that sooner or later you are going to have to come clean with him indoors. The brown stuff will without doubt hit the fan but it will be a massive weight off your shoulders and you can both then work at it together. I feel giulty in knowing that OH was trying to cope with this alone.
Trying to sort this alone i would suggest is just too much.
The OH will feel hurt & angry etc but if you come clean now and explain about your spending, and that theres a reason for it ie depression, then once he's calmed down then you can really get stuck in and find a new rythm in your lives.

I hope this helps.

Mark

petrafyde

Good Morning!

Hope you feel a bit better today.

Before you start switching providers etc, please take a look at Quidco. Any shopping you do online could potentially earn you cashback. For example, if you switch to certain providers for gas and elec, you can earn £60 back! I always go to the quidco site now before making ANY purchase in case they have a cashback option

Look at my signature to see what I've saved in the past six days.

Also, there are a LOT of online voucher codes in other parts of the forum - you can save at least the delivery cost most times, so there's a bit more to save online as well as losing the hassle of the actual shop

megisabel

marklunn3602 your post has struck a chord with me, I am your OH - in fact, Im not entirely sure your not my husband posting in disguise!!

i think i, like your wife have a shopping addiction, the money i have spent on nonsense is despicable but at the same time i have come clean about debts before to him and remortgaged and told him i was useless with money but he also seems to have adopted the head in sand approach, he just leaves it to me and i tell him things are ok but every now and then try and send out a clue that things arent but we just carry on.

I have been thinking and I would really like to go down the dmp route - my credit rating is about to be ruined anyway as i cant make the payments and the dmp would cover the debts that at the moment im not even doing anything about (overdrafts, gas and electric debts etc)

what is the first step i need to take?

i have been to doctors today for more advice on the anxiety and panic attacks but she was off sick so i am back on thursday. The community postnatal mental health team are coming to visit me tomorrow, im scared about that.

Gemmzie

First step is to phone National Debtline and discuss your budget with them or Payplan, CCCS don't seem to be able to help self employed people for some reason.

Then if they say go ahead, on the National Debtline website are template letters for you to send saying that basically you're sorting out a DMP and they will hear from you in due course.

Also, you'll need to open a new basic bank account (no overdraft) with a bank which is separate from your creditors, there's a link somewhere with the bank associations, I'm sure someone will post that for you. If not, I'll try and find it.