Child support for 4 children

traveller

Hi,I have 4 kids aged 15,12,10 and 5 months.My ex has a mortgage, no other dependants that I know of and lives on his own.Because I've always valued his relationship with the kids above his contribution, I've never really targeted him as such, for a figure based on anything inparticular.He also has a lot of debt approx 31k.
He did start off paying 250.00 per month, but It went down to 240.00 as he made DS contribute this towards the mobile phone contract he got him as a chtistmas pressent! I've never really challenged the amount, but I feel his contribution should be increased slightly.According to the CSA he should be paying approx 500.00 per month-I feel this is excessive because of his debt(although this is due to him liking the finer things in life-none of it was accumulated while he was with or because of me and the children).

Can I make it clear that I do not see him as a cash point and for years recieved nothing at all-youngest came about after a reconilliation that didn't work.I think I'm starting to question this slightly though as I'm due to go back to work in Jan.My son starts nursery and the cost of living ect is such for me and the kids that I don't feel his contribution adequate.My friends think I should go straight to the csa-but I don't want to go down that route.So was wondering what other people think is a reasonble figure.My ex earns in excess of 37k and I earn approx 24k although this month till jan,I go down to 468 per month.Thanks.

MrsTinks

why not start by talking to him and saying that you don't feel it's enough to support his children - do you get any tax benefits etc at all on top of what he pays? If you go through CSA that might get stopped?

traveller

Hi Mrs Tine,I have tried to talk to him and he feels that I'm not being understanding about his debts, which he says he has.I'm aware tax credits would be further reduced /stopped if he ups his payment as yes it's reduced in accordance to what he pays.Thanks for your reply.

Errata

£250 divided by 4 weeks divided by 4 kids is hardly enough to keep them in chips let alone anything else.
Could you have another discussion and give him some figures: cost of food, clothes, heat, light etc that 4 kids generate each week ?

MrsTinks

As far as the CSA are concerned then rightly or wrongly debt payments are not taken into consideration when it comes to CSA payments so the fact that you are understanding about them is a nice thing, but certainly not something that he should expect if you go through the CSA...
I'd speak to him again and explain that a) kids cost a lot more than £250 a month for 4 of them! b) CSA would demand £500 ish c) why don't the pair of you sit down and look at his finances and try and reach agreement on what he CAN afford?
If he refuses then I guess you can at least go to the CSA knowing you have honestly tried to reach an agreement amicably between you...

traveller

I have tried in the past, to help him transfer debts and work out his situation.When I have talked to him about the money situation, he points out that every year myself and the kids go on 'expensive' holidays which he cannot afford.I refuse to listen to this as they are not expensive and with or without his contribution they would continue.I will try to talk to him again and If he behaves unreasonable,then I will contact the CSA.Thanks everyone

kittiej

I would suggest that if you don't want £500 per month then you work out a figure you would be happy with and tell him you want that amount each month without any hold-ups or excuses.

It's not yours or your children's fault that he's got himself into debt.

Put your family first, just as he should also.

Why should your children go without?

PS

I thought any amount of maintenance was disregarded as far as Tax Credits are concerned?

pinkshoes

If he earns £37k, his take home salary will be about £2200 a month. Do you know how much his mortgage is? I guess his bills (gas, elec, council tax, phone, internet, food) will be about £500 a month, plus mortgage, then perhaps £500 debt payment (??), cost of running a car etc... and then I guess he needs some money to live on. It is quite feasible that £500 would be rather steep, but perhaps £300 would be feasible?

Do the kids ever stay at his?

N71

traveller wrote: »

Hi Mrs Tine,I have tried to talk to him and he feels that I'm not being understanding about his debts, which he says he has.I'm aware tax credits would be further reduced /stopped if he ups his payment as yes it's reduced in accordance to what he pays.Thanks for your reply.

Tax credits will not be affected at all by how much he pays. The only thing that csa affects is income support.

You could go through the CSA and ask them to assess an amount. You can then go onto direct pay, where he pays you with no involvement of the CSA. If they assess £500, you can accept whatever you want from him, say £300 - and he sees you as being reasonable as well as having the threat of £500 if he messes up.

Savvy_Sue

MOVING THREADS FOR BETTER RESPONSES

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to the Child Support board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

traveller

Hi, thanks for all of your replies!!! I have not had the time until now to come back on. He told me his mortgage was around 800pcm and then he pays 400pcm in ground rent.
Our communication has become sparadic since july when he felt I was unreasonable.Basically, he started to think it was o.k to say he was bringing maintanance and then not for whatever reason, but not bother keep me informed.This annoyed me and I told him so,to which I got some very harsh words.
He does not own a car anymore as his last car was written off and he only likes luxury cars.As he cannot get one at the moment he says he'd rather take public transport.He possibly has the kids approx 4 times a year to stay at his, but sees them most sundays.Travel costs do not really come into it as he lives a 40 minute walk from our house.

Thankyou for the info on different methods of payment through CSA.I will look into this and talk to him.