Child support for 4 children

pinkshoes

traveller wrote: »

I didn't feel I was being unreasonable as our son was relying on his spending money from him as he said he'd bring it a day after the normal time he brings it.I didn't have a lot of cash in that week, and didn't get to the bank as he said he was coming with it.Had he just been honest and said he didn't have it I wouldn't have minded.But , to delibertley just lie low,really annoyed me.

I have no Idea, If these figures are accurate regarding his ground rent.When I tried to help him face up to his debt he didn't show me any ptoof of anything, but I'm assuming these are correct.He'd probably be more likely to hide some of his earnings as he also does private work(IT consultant).

What sort of property is it? A ground rent is more likely to be between £200 and £1000 a YEAR, not per month. I have friends who own properties in posh apartments in London, which have gyms, concierge service etc... and they don't pay that much!!

Sounds like he's burying his head in the sand over his finances! If he genuinely has huge outgoings for the basics, then it's pointless asking for more money, as it'll just cause tension.

Personally, I'd meet up with him, and give him two choices; firstly, you can go to the CSA and get them to sort it out, which will mean him being forced to pay HUGE amounts every month, or secondly, he can let you go over his finances to sort out what he can honestly and feasibly afford to pay you. I think that's being more than fair, and gives him two fair options!

If he won't talk, then perhaps put it down in a letter for him, and give him so many days to respond.

Good luck!

System

I'm afraid when it comes to providing for children and parental responsibility I feel debts come a distant second to children.

If his net pay per month is about £2200 then he should be paying 25% of that (£550) in child maintenance. This is not your money it is your childrens.

I'm all for trying to keep a good relationship going with an ex for the childrens sake. However in this case it seems to me that the OP is the one who is doing all the giving and understanding and her ex is getting away with avoiding his responsibilites whilst living the life of Riley, accruing debts on luxuries his children don't have the option of enjoying.

If the ex is really having difficulty why doesn't he do something to help himself support his kids. Since he's living on his own perhaps he could take in a lodger to help him pay his mortgage and pay off some of his debts. That would leave more for his kids. Why doesn't he behave like a father and instead of asking the OP and his kids to do without think outside the box and try and get himself out of the mess he's in.

That may seem harsh, I'm not against fathers just errant non resident parents (male and female) who think it's ok not to suitably support the kids they brought into the world.

billysmum

Hi, i get £101. a month for 3 kids age 14, 12, and 8, that is through the csa, Lisa

traveller

Hi, pink shoes, he lives in a new build apartment block in a not very nice area in London and got some kind of discount as he's an NHS key worker.
Pam17
He cannot take in a lodger as it's a very small one bedroom property(although I doubt he'd do this anyway,in all honesty:rolleyes: ).

Billys mum, that sum seems quite low,how was that decision made?

billysmum

Billys mum, that sum seems quite low,how was that decision made?[/quote]

Hi, i am not sure but he probably worked something out with his employer as he was on about £500. a week take home when i was with him (8 years ago)

LizzieS_2

The facts
1) He sees the children (assume 3 are his) when he feels like it
2) He earns £37K
3) His lifestyle is beyond his means and he's now got £31K of debt
4) The debt is entirely of his own making, ie you state none was done by you and he certainly has not paid out £31K in child maintenance.
5) His choice of living is expensive for a single person at £1200pm

The reality - he simply cannot manage his finances despite having sufficient income to do so. Remember you are not together and are not there to spoon feed him what he should/should not do, or be responsible for actions of his own making.

Work out a figure that you think is a fair contribution towards how the children live. Insist upon that payment every week/month. If he refuses then the csa is an option, but be warned you do have to push them to get things sorted.

traveller

LizzieS wrote: »

The facts
1) He sees the children (assume 3 are his) when he feels like it
2) He earns £37K
3) His lifestyle is beyond his means and he's now got £31K of debt
4) The debt is entirely of his own making, ie you state none was done by you and he certainly has not paid out £31K in child maintenance.
5) His choice of living is expensive for a single person at £1200pm

The reality - he simply cannot manage his finances despite having sufficient income to do so. Remember you are not together and are not there to spoon feed him what he should/should not do, or be responsible for actions of his own making.

Work out a figure that you think is a fair contribution towards how the children live. Insist upon that payment every week/month. If he refuses then the csa is an option, but be warned you do have to push them to get things sorted.[/quote

He is the father to all of them-due to me clearly not realising that a leopard never changes it's spots:rolleyes:

System

traveller wrote: »

Pam17
He cannot take in a lodger as it's a very small one bedroom property(although I doubt he'd do this anyway,in all honesty:rolleyes: ).

Then £400pcm is extortionate for ground rent. I live in a 4 bedroom detached house and pay £25 twice a year for mine. I know Northern Ireland can be a bit cheaper but not that much.

If he continues to play silly b*##ers then get the CSA involved