Should I sell my house?

BabySteps

I don't know where to begin, but I am in a real real mess. I am so stressed I can't think straight to deal with the debt I have. Single Mum, 2 teenagers, long story about the debt ..... living beyond my means, feeling guilty because my waster of an ex hubby has never paid child maintenance, so I've always overcompensated and tried to be Mum and Dad (but on a single salary). My second big relationship broke up 4 years ago, the household income dropped from £60k to £20k per annum. I worked hard, got a promotion but I am still in a mess as I had to buy my ex out of the house (I didn't want to move the kids school etc)

I feel stupid, ashamed, scared. I went on line for debt help with CCCS on Monday after totalling up my debt, because I have had a council tax arrears threat of a summons. I went in to the office to pay £150 today - but it was not enough and they are still going to summons me tomorrow. CCCS suggested asking for the outstanding council tax to be spread over the rest of the year - but I need more help, how to deal with the credit cards etc. My bank is charging me crazy amounts of charges. It's a crazy situation - I've been trying to keep up appearances, work full time in a fairly decent job (£30k with Company car) - my mortgage is huge and the only way I can see out of this mess is to sell up and rent for a while. But it's the worst possible time.
A quick overview of my affairs:
Credit card and loan debt - Approx £50k
Mortgage £145 + 40 second loan
House Value - debatable, I need to ask an estate agent - 2 years ago £239k
I have definitely fallen into Debt Crisis as my bank is bouncing and charging like there's no tomorrow. I'm thinking of moving my wages to another account - I do have another bank current that I do not use - so that is a short term option. I don't want to go bankrupt or get a really bad credit rating - I've only just slipped into the "crisis" stage. My kids are 16 and 20 now so it would be ok to move house. I think I've just answered my own question - I have to sell. I feel like crying, I've got to lose this stress, it is making me ill. Help.

MrsTinks

First - go make a cup of tea or pour a glass of wine and take a deep breath.
second - follow this link http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html and enter all the information and then choose the "post to MSE format" I think it's called and copy it all over in a post on here.
thirdly - yes selling might be the way forward, but that doesn't mean it's the only way. The only way we will know if is you post your SOA as above so we can see what we have to work with

It may be that selling your house is a good plan because it will help reduce the stress you are under - but let's cross that bridge when we get to it

As for your credit rating... that is really the least of your problems I think - you've already gone over your limit a lot of times and that is likely to have affected your rating. And you don't REALLY want to get more credit at this point anyway
I think if we can make the figures work out a Debt Management Plan might be the way forwards but we need them numbers first

petrafyde

OK

Calm down. It's going to be okay because you are taking control.

Firstly you need to compile a statement of affairs (SOA)
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
Do not be shy when you answer these questions - no matter what you put there will have been someone before you who has spent more so don't worry about it.

This forum is literally full to the brim of people who've been helped by others out of very nasty situations who stay either because they like it here, or they want to help others - and that's without those like you and me, so don't worry.

I understand totally the method in not wanting to change the kids' school etc. I'm the same, as a mum you want as little disturbance for them.

To sell your house now would be an mini self-economic disaster in my opinion. Ideally if there was somewhere else you could live, and you could find a renter I'd do that, but I'm assuming not so forget the house until you've compiled the SOA.

Things like shopping can be severely reduced and whilst its a pain in the bum and we don't want to accept we're at the point where we need to do it, it can save our credit rating. Mine is wrecked already, but I feel a need to help people stopping theirs and since I've been posting on this site I've seen how I could've sorted myself out relatively painlessly years ago.

So. First act - SOA.

Do you have another bank account? If so, leave the wages going into this one until the charges are paid off and out of the way. Transfer your DD's to the other and manage it strictly not touching DD money.

I'm going to leave it there now because you have enough to think about and compiling an SOA is traumatic. I did my first four days ago and because my finances are in such a mess! I will be doing another once MY bank is sorted, because I like you have bank charges spiralling out of control.

You aren't on your own. This forum is the very blessing for people like us. Chat soon!

BabySteps

Thanks Mrs Tine, now I'm weeping.... ok will do an SOA -

petrafyde

And MrsTine was the person who effectively kicked me up the bum, too!

Longing_to_be_debt_free

Hi Babysteps,

just wanted to say that you have takes the first steps a problem shared is a problem halved.

Like yourself the stress was getting me down and making me feel ill... Now you are now in the right place as we are all in the same boat...and on this journey together.

Big hugs and remember it can only get better from her on in.

BabySteps

Aw thanks so much everyone, right I am going to get a grip and get this sorted. I reckon I'll have my SOA up by Saturday (big day in work tomorrow so can't stay up all night) - I haven't confided in anyone about this so already I'm feeling a bit of relief. Will look at the scary numbers and post them.

clearmydebts

Hi Babysteps and welcome,

This is a very friendly website and there are lots of people here who will help you out and give you advice. The first step is admitting the debt and you have done that so well done.

MrsTinks

Hey i'm a master (or should that be mistress) of bum kicking

dry your eyes - get some sleep and know that there will be a wealth of people here to help you And Petrafyde one day YOU'LL be the one doing the bum kicking

petrafyde

If I can get my leg high enough :P

Good morning Baby Steps and all - hope you slept well xx

mummytofour

Hi Babysteps!

I am amazed at what you have done, bought up two children while working your way up the career ladder :T

You are not a failure, you have had a few hard situations and you got out of them the best you could and have done a fab job at holding everything together, well done you!!

Do as the wise ones say on here and before you know it you will feel the stress ebb away, good luck and well done for posting:D