Earthgirl gets back on track!

earthgirl

Well I have been breaking my heart all night. Childminder was lovely, and can do term time only, and flexible hours. And although Id decided on returning in Sept, she can do may now, and oh wants me to go back to work then as his business is slowing down now in the crunch... Earthlet will be 9 months and I will be a wreck!

cha97michelle

Oh honey, hard when you had your head around a certain situation and it changes, but if that is what you need to do it will have to do.

Will it help to think about it in how many weeks you will be without him? At least the summer term is the shorter one, and you will have the long summer hols to look forward to.

Sounds like the childminder is a good one then. I was skint paying for it 50 weeks a year. The only time you didn't have to pay was the Chrismas hols, and you could have a holiday week at half price. Saying that, a lot of people then still use it during the hols to catch up with jobs at home, and school work. Thinking back, it was one of the times i truly got a bit of a break and felt on top of things.

museumworker

Glad to hear you found a good childminder - I had an amazing one for 5 years with DD, I still see her regularly and she is like my second mum. She helped me through some really tough times. Having someone good to look after your child makes it much easier to leave them and focus on work.

Sorry to hear though you can't take as much mat leave as you had hoped. Have you done some number crunching to see if it is at all feasible? I didn't get any mat pay, only mat allowance which at the time was for 16 weeks only. Worked up til 2 days before gave birth, and went back to work full time (3 days in office, 2 days at home) at 4 months. Was pants, but it had to happen.

[Deleted User]

Aw earthlet
sorry to hear the plans have changed, but sounds like you have someone good to look after little earthlet ... It must be hard to think of leaving him, but second what michelle said in maybe thinking about the time you will spend with him ... long term once the mortgage is gone whats the plan for you? were you planning on being at home with him all the time or is there any work you could do from home?

twinklie

Aww sorry to hear your plans are going to have to change. Can you not survive with tutoring and exam marking? I'm guessing not. Sorry honey.

gratefulforhelp_2

earthgirl wrote: »

Well I have been breaking my heart all night. Childminder was lovely, and can do term time only, and flexible hours. And although Id decided on returning in Sept, she can do may now, and oh wants me to go back to work then as his business is slowing down now in the crunch... Earthlet will be 9 months and I will be a wreck!

Massive hugs for this, if it helps I went back with #1 at 8 months and #2 at 9 months and they coped ok, better than me!!

earthgirl

Hi All,
Thanks for the lovely messages, I have beed re- reading them to try to cheer myself up! I suppose we could scrimp through with me not going back to work until september (paid from mid july onwards of course!) but it makes so much more sense to go back on the 2nd May. Before earthlet gets too used to spending all day with me, and so I get the Easter and half term holidays pay as well, before finishing in mid July.

The thought of his little confused face not understanding why his mummy is walking away, and not being there when he cries just makes me feel so upset and breaks my heart before its even happened! I have to go back to work at some point though, we just can't afford to live off ohs business, especially at the moment.

Nothing seems as important as being with my family anymore. But at least having most of the mortgage paid off, if we have another baby, I can see about just working part time.

I must try and harden up, and get on with it!

I haven't done anything in the way of cleaning or small business work of late, so thats todays jobs sorted!

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Hi Earthgirl

Hope you don't mind me posting.

If you are planning on going back to work, I would say its easier on baby if they go to child care at a earlier age.

I found my older child settled much easier at nursery from being left from 5 months old(you were only entitled to 6 months maternity leave when he was born).

It was far more stressful with my younger child to go into childcare as she was 12 months old and far too settled into a home routine when my maternity leave finished. She was much more aware that mummy was leaving her all day.

Also, I would recommend starting baby at childcare at least one month before you go back to work. That way, both baby (and you) have settled into the routine and are used to being apart by the time you go back to work. Which means on your first day back at work you are not feeling guilty and emotional all day about leaving a crying baby.

Most babies adapt to being left - parents are a different matter!!

Kittikins

Very true.......I had to find a job when DD was 5 months old due to ex walking out, and put her in full-time nursery, which although very hard for me, was fine for her - in a way, it was harder to have her in nursery when she was 3 than it was as a baby.

Whatever you need to do, earthlet will be happy as he has parents that worship the ground he crawls on

earthgirl

Thank you Thank you!

I feel so much better now, and I have booked him in April to get used to it, and then 2nd May 1/2 days for a week, and then full time after that.

I have to be grateful for all that I have and can do, and stop worrying about what I can't do.

No jobs done yet, but lots of baby cuddles received instead!