Sunshine, Daffodils and lolipops-concentrating on the good things in life

pania

Hi all

Update time from panialand and tbh I'm feeling a little flat right now.

I should be over the moon as i start my new job on monday. I'm free of tosserboss. my pay has doubled almost overnight and strict financial planning (until 3 am the other morning!!!) means that i will be able to be debt free of all but my largest loan by the end of august.

So... why so flat and blimmin manic depressive? I miss OH sooo soo much i really do. right now it feels that leaving him was the worst thing i ever did. I love him i miss him i miss the company i miss norfolk and i shouldn't have ever left him. He has told me quite categorically that there is no hope of me ever getting him back, and the way that i have treated him i can say that i blame him at all. It just hurts. Also my friend last night said to me that he is happy for us to be friends and to carry on as we are... (i'm sure the less naive amongst you will know exactly what that means) but although he cares about me he does not want to be in a relationship with anyone and he will feel that way for quite some time ahead. SO a bit of a double whammy in 2 days that one!!! so feeling very lonely righ tnow and wondering exactly what i did wrong.

Anyway on the bright side i can post a new SOA and really really make this job work for me. new year new start and onwards and upwards from there, I've been down to the dog school today and have had the best laugh going although it was blimmin freezing (-3 one preson said) and was blizzarding for some of the day so i turned into an ice cube and had to come home to a 2 hour long bath to thaw out!!! but it has made me crave a dog soooo much its unbelievable, Hey i can't go that far wrong that a dog won't love me right!!!

New SOA on its way shortly.

Hugs
P
xxx

hypno06

You do not belong with ex OH. You know that. Absolutely and for definite. You took him back once and it was a big mistake. Things were not right for a long time. You know why. Get back together with him in any way now, and it will be another mistake.

You are just having a bad day, and feeling rejected from the new guy - understandable, but no reason what so ever to think that walking away from the ex was the wrong decision.

pania

i know that what you are saying is true, you were close enough to the situation to have seen it from both sides. sometimes i guess it is easy enough to look back at the times you were together, especially when you are on your own and just see the good times. I will snap out of it and see sense i promise... Sorry...

skint_spice

I totally agree with Hypno on this, being another sad singly there are times I wish I had stayed with ex and convince myself that we could have worked things out but I think it's just that I miss having someone here sometimes. The feelings pass and you will feel better and relieved that he's not part of your life.

Good luck with the new job, it all sounds very positive apart from the ex stuff!

hypno06

Get a pen and paper - write down all the good things and all the bad about that relationship.

Then keep it, send it to me and I will add all the other stuff on that you have missed, and will send it back to you.........

Enjoy having the chance to be YOU for a while - just because you are not part of a couple right now does not make you inferior. You will only feel lonely and miss him if YOU allow it - no one else has any control over that.

So, take control of the situation and move on. New Job, new start.....everything to play for and no !!!!!! making you iron his shirts at 6am to get in the way.

beanielou

What hypno & skinty said.
it is hard & its a difficult time of year.
Hope the new job goes well.
Great on being DF apert from loan in 8 months.

pania

paqnia starts list with " made me iron shirts at 6 am.."

I'll do that with the list. thanks hon. xx I think part of the problem is i lost so much sense of who "me" is while we were together that i am still trying to find "me" again. No more loneliness... righto!!!

Thanks Skint spice. Everything is very positive i just need to smell the roses!!!

(hypno your top has been washed and is on its way back to you along with the other 2!! )

hypno06

How long is your probation period with the new job? Don't make any changes re renting etc before the end of your probation, in case things don't work out and you are saddled with rent you cannot afford to pay, but set yourself a target of having a place of your own to rent, where you are allowed to have a dog, when your probation ends.

New Year, New Job, New home, New Dog, and WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, new relationship.........just don't rush into anything.

hypno06

Oh, and I ran round the lake near the ski club THREE times this morning - remember just a few weeks ago you had to practically DRAG me round, and today I went round THREE times!

Did I mention it was THREE times?

Oh, and have you heard about the massive blisters I have on my feet - bloody new trainers - £70 and I get the biggest blisters in the history of marathon running.........

spud30

Erm, how the heck did I miss your diary Pania :eek: :eek: :eek:

Hugs hun, listen to Aunty Hyp

Ouch at the blisters btw Hyp :rolleyes: