Age appropriate girls clothes (and blazing rows!)

jackieb

My daughter is 12 and loves to cover herself up. She started puberty quite early and is quite self-conscious. I'd love to see her in a skirt again. I haven't got her to wear one for about 5 years! She also doesn't want heels or her ears pierced. I've asked if she wants them done (to wear studs, not the mega hoops!) but she refused. She's into jeans and trainers. She has no interest in fashion.

I've only recently started taking her to the hairdresser though. She now gets her hair styled and got a few blonde streaks put in (she wanted purple!). She looks anything but tarty, but it gave her more confidence in herself, so I don't grudge the £35 it costs to get it done. I usually straighten her hair before she goes out, otherwise she'd have a head like Wurzel Gummidge! If I let her go out the way she wanted, she'd be teased to high heaven. I want her to fit in within reason - just so she doesn't stick out too much. I don't want her to wear make-up or dress like a tart though.

jimjams_mommy

I am so glad I had a boy!! if I had a dd she would hate me as I don't think kids should look like adults. Its the social worker in me!
but I have a friend whos dd are 13 and 9 and they wear leggings under their dresses and skirts. Horra!! for winter lol.

moneypooh

OMG Fridays, jeans for genes day was a shocker this year. My DD is in year 10 (14) and her year wouldn't have gone a miss at a halloween party:eek:

The sight of some of them was almost scary, boys and girls.

My DD has been through the 'I wanna dress like a tart' phase and has come out of it the other side thank goodness. However it was a struggle, but worth it. I was firm and just didn't buy her anything that wasn't appropriate. Some of her friends said she was brill to not follow the crowd and wear what she wanted. Then her friends started to wear other clothes too and they started a cool trend. Of course the tarty clothes are still there but she's gone past that now and just thinks these girls look so wrong.
Being 5' 6" and a perfect size 10 her world has changed and she can shop in any high street store now, and that's a relief in it's self as she can wear trendy clothes without looking like she's out for business. I found that young girls (under 10) and teenage clothes were difficult to find when she was younger and had to stick to stores like Next and M&S to get trendy but OK clothes.
Shoes were as issue once, but being slightly taller than her closest friends has meant she wants flats so she's not taller than them. She did wear a heel once on a non-school uniform day, and after walking miles in them she soon went back to her flats!

Another hang up is the 'wrong size' scenario. Like most girls she was stressed about the sizes she wore. Another throw back of the size zero craze. She always wanted smaller than she needed. I spent a day shopping with her and showed her the difference in sizes. She chose clothes she liked and then we took 2 sizes to the changing room, the size she wanted and the size I thought she needed. Every time (without fail) she looked perfect in the next size up, as the tighter versions were not comfortable and made her look bigger - loads of muffins going on despite her skinny frame.
This summer she even mixed and matched tankini sizes and the like so she looked right.

I am pleased that I stuck to it, it is hard but has been well worth it. She now has great self confidence about how she looks and what she wears. She is trendy and found her own style. However we still have the odd battle about some things but that's OK because she has to express herself too.

It's a difficult area, and I really try not to sound like my own Mother. I'm not a prude or a fuddy duddy, and I love some of the fashions around today; but I do have to help my children see things from a different view point.

On the subject of make up, my DD doesn't wear it unless it's a party etc.. She wanted to wear it to school and I resisted it. Now she sees the combined effects of wearing it all the time and teenage hormones on her friends. They have to use concealer to cover up the spots that have been made worse by make-up. My DD does get the odd one but they clear up really quickly and generally her skin is brilliant.

My DS is a typical boy, jeans and t-shirts - sorted!!

blimey - sorry I've been rattling on......:o

good luck

Pennylane

It's more or less expected (and normal!;) ) for girls to dress a bit OTT when they get to 16 or 17 and try out different styles. It just depends what is "in fashion" at the time they hit this age.

A few years back it was baggy black trousers and loose, long cardis and it was almost like a uniform! Then we had tight leggings and loose smock tops which were pretty normal and along the way there's been goth stuff, punk, hippy style and so on.

I remember going out at 17 in a skirt which I doubt was 12" long with a maxi coat that swept the ground and wet-look boots. We've all been there and done it but in different eras!!:rotfl:

It's just that we were MUCH older (and more able to look after ourselves) than the little girls of 7 and 8 and it is worrying that some parents are allowing them to look so cheap and awful.:eek:

nic2075

My DD is only 3 and she loves being able to pick an outfit out of the 2 choices I give her, makes her feel indipendant (sp) She is quite happy with a t-shirt with Dora or Fifi on it, but a girl made fun of her at nursery last week for wearing Upsy Daisy pants!! this made her upset and has refused to wear them. I have also noticed most of the girls in her nursery class (3-4 yr olds) have got HSM and Bratz bags and t shirts etc. I thought these were more for 8 yrs +? I just want her to be happy and grow up at her own pace. Im also not a fuddy duddy but she is a wee girl and will have plenty of time to experience HSM, bras etc when she is at an appropriate age.

btw I have'nt seen HSM or let my DD see it, am I wrong in thiking this is aimed more at 8+ yrs.?

mishmash

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

I'm probably gonna get shot for this one but i have also let my DD have the short shorts you are talking about but she always wears them with brightly coloured tights or leggings so they look fun rather than tarty. As i say its how they wear it not what they wear that makes the difference :-)

I agree, I think you can do trendy but still cute and not tatry. My little one has some really cute little shorts with bright wooly tights, or skirts with leggings.

I don't think little girls need to be dresed like tarts. H&M (or as I still call it Hennes) is really good for trendy but cute.

I have a DD who is 15 now, and a little one who is 3. They are both very opinionated about what they will wear and the little one likes dressing like her big sis. Obviously we make certain adjustments (like wooly tights with shorts) .

I think compromise is the best way, I remember girls at school (whoose parents were very strict with their clothing) would roll their skits over at the waist until they were very short, they would put loads of make up on the way to school. My parents were generally laid back so I did not have to rebell.

Mish

arthur_dent_2

I am refusing to allow my daughter to see HSM and hate Bratz. The whole name of Bratz just says it all to me. Many of dds class have these though (6+7). Personally I saw Grease the then equivalent and Dirty Dancing when I was about 12.

Rachie_B

nic2075 wrote: »

My DD is only 3 and she loves being able to pick an outfit out of the 2 choices I give her, makes her feel indipendant (sp) She is quite happy with a t-shirt with Dora or Fifi on it, but a girl made fun of her at nursery last week for wearing Upsy Daisy pants!! this made her upset and has refused to wear them. I have also noticed most of the girls in her nursery class (3-4 yr olds) have got HSM and Bratz bags and t shirts etc. I thought these were more for 8 yrs +? I just want her to be happy and grow up at her own pace. Im also not a fuddy duddy but she is a wee girl and will have plenty of time to experience HSM, bras etc when she is at an appropriate age.

btw I have'nt seen HSM or let my DD see it, am I wrong in thiking this is aimed more at 8+ yrs.?

omg

both are aimed at older girls i think,yes

HSM isnt as bad as bratz though,they are hideous!

Fourcandles_3

As a guider I recently had to send a letter to all parents regarding footwear. We had 5 year olds turning up with heels! !!!!!!?

ailuro2

Fourcandles wrote: »

As a guider I recently had to send a letter to all parents regarding footwear. We had 5 year olds turning up with heels! !!!!!!?

A guider saying !!!!!!?


......................

!!!!!!??