I Give Up I Have Had Enough!!!!

TotallyBroke

Agree you need to do a joint SOA and quickly.

Can you speak to your boss at work confidentially. Maybe explain what has happened and see if you can get a loan from work where they take money from your wages before you get them. This may at least help with paying back your work collegues. But of course you will need to speak to your dmp company before doing so.
Is your dmp company a free one or a company that charges if the latter then start a new one with all the relevant information with cccs or someone else.

What does he give to you for living in the same home as you?
He has to give you something..... surely

milliemonster

If he is living with you then he has to contribute as you clearly can't afford to support him aswell as pay your debts, something has to give, why is he paying the mortgage on where his children lives?, I understand he needs to provide for his children but this situation can't continue or it is going to spell financial disaster for you both

TotallyBroke

milliemonster ~ I know someone else you has this arrangement about paying the mortgage.
It was a condition of their divorce (although I don't know every detail of the whys etc) but he pays no maintenance for the children but does pay the mortgage on the house.

Bloody silly idea if you ask me.. If he paid maintenance he would only have to do so for 18years but now is paying a mortgage of 25 maybe plus years. Then again if he paid it off in 5 years he would not have to pay a penny again.


emlc27 ~ You have to get him to look at his finances also if you want any hope of sorting out these debts. Is his name on the council tax, is it a joint tenancy on the property. Were these debts from before he got with or since you have been together?

emlc27

Yes he pays the mortgage untill the kids are 18.
No maintance

The debts are all before him.
the tax is both our names although the arreas is from before him
I dont think he will join finances but I will ask. He is in no better situation than me

milliemonster

The way I see it is if he has made the decision to live with you then that means working together jointly on this, you have a home together, with joint bills now and you have to put everything together in one pot otherwise you will never get out of this mess.

You have to detail your joint income and joint outgoings, see what's left over and use that to start paying everyone back. If he wasn't with you you would probably be able to claim some benefits so just by him merely living with you (but not contributing financially) is detrimental

You need to sort out a proper budget or you are not going to be able to find the money to pay back your colleagues or your dad. I appreciate he may not feel that he has any responisibility towards paying your debts before him but purely by you currently subsidising him, this is preventing you from being able to pay off more of your debts.

Can he not rent out this caravan that he has to bring in some additional income?

ajaney

If he & his children are living with you, they will be increasing your bills (heating, electric, council tax). It is very hard to say it but as others have said, if he is living with you, he needs to contribute.

Renting the caravan out sounds like a great idea.

TotallyBroke

Does your OH rent or own this caravan. Why is there such a tie that he can't get rid of it?
Could he rent it out or would it be an option for you both to move into?

Does he have control over the mortgage. For example can he get a better rate or fix deals or is it still a joint mortgage with his ex.
The reason I ask this is because if we had a joint SOA then maybe the amount could be reduced with a better deal.

Debt_Free_Chick

emlc27 wrote: »

I dont think he will join finances but I will ask. He is in no better situation than me

But surely some of the bills you pay are for joint use e.g. utilities, council tax?

Even if he doesn't contribute, you must share this with him so he understands your position. He can't "make allowances" for you if he doesn't know how difficult things are for you.

Sorry if I've misunderstood ....

The_Pink_Wafer

In the long term, can you not change your mobile?

£100 is a lot - you can get sim only contracts which are really cheap. I pay £25 a month for 750 minutes and unlimited texts.

Anything you can ebay? If you're a computer engineer, any chance you can do freelance on the side in your local area, repairing peoples personal pcs?

Talk to your OH.

Do you have a spare room you can let out?

Also, I know it's hard, but come clean with your friends. Yes, they'll probably be angry and upset but it's a lot better to tell them now then have them questioning things later.