My sorry looking SOA

Ossireo

I think the biggest challenge you have is getting the OH on board. You may budget yourself well but I feel he is possibly going to lead you astray with his thoughts about money (based on some of the comments he has made to you that you have posted). Getting the LBM at same time is often difficult and it sounds like its just you having it atm.

I do feel he is being a little unfair to you, he can only spare you X amount due to his overwhelming debt, yet still has £200 in his 'pocket' and says he wont do this or that etc As you are living together and both in debt then it will be easiest to do this journey as a team rather then alone.

Just to clarify, do you shop separately? Does he buy his own food out of the £200 he has, or are you feeding him with your £200 as well? What does he say his contribution to you is for?

Anyway, keep your chin up, keep trying to get the OH on board and good luck with your journey :A

butterfly_01

we share the food bill 50:50 and quite often he will go shopping in his lunch break and i won't pay my half. He also pays for the tv licence and the telephone and all the car bills (even though I can't drive I do get him to drive me around alot) and then he gives me that to help me with the bills.

We moved in together approx 3 1/2 years ago and his situation was that he had only just got a job and it was low paying - he had been trying to set up his own buisness and it didn't work so thats why he is in debt himself.

I had to leave the house I was living in as it was uni accomodation and I had just graduated. I had the choice of moving in on my own and having no money (I was only earning enough to pay bills / debts and NOTHING else) or move back to my parents in Devon. We are in bedfordshire so did not want a long distance relationship or to split up so the only other option I could think of was to rent somewhere and have my boyfriend live with me and give me some money to live on - it used to only be £150 but over time it has improved and although he has said that I knew what the situation would be he can see that I am really struggling and that he needs to help out more.

RAS

Hi chuck

At the moment, OH is only paying his rent and the Council tax.

Does his dad realisi that you, his GF, are subsidising his utilitiies etc?

Also - there is no TV licence fee on your SOA. Does he pay that?

butterfly_01

When we agreed to have the house the OH's Dad wanted £675 rent but I showed him who pays what and he immediately said £575. The OH does indeed pay for the TV licence.

I am wondering if he has realised I am on here as he has just emailed me to say he was researching the DMP and looking at what he pays compared to me and realises that he does not pay enough towards the household expenses!!!

Dithering_Dad

Hopefully your OH will now be on-board with your debt free plans.

I noticed you have a new signature, where you're aiming on being debt free in 3 yrs 3 months (39 months). At that rate, providing you have all your debt on interest free and you do not have any charges applied, you will have to put £566.67 per month away directly onto your debts.

Is this really achieveable? I don't wish to be pessimistic, but as I found with my mortgage free challenge, setting unrealistic targets dilutes the achievements you make and put undue pressure on yourselves.

What you could end up with is the financial equivalent of a crash diet, and we all know how well they work out.

RAS

butterfly_01 wrote: »

The OH does indeed pay for the TV licence.

I am wondering if he has realised I am on here as he has just emailed me to say he was researching the DMP and looking at what he pays compared to me and realises that he does not pay enough towards the household expenses!!!

So somehow or other your budget is going to start balancing shortly?

Once that happens you can start the journey towards sorting hte debt out.

How long has this situation gone on?

Is there any way that OH could persuade pop to alllow you to take a lodger (as opposed to a joint tentant who would be hard to dislodge?

That would enable you to earn up to £370 per month tax free which is almost the same as each of you getting £2,500 pay rise.

butterfly_01

Dithering Dad - I was not expecting the post I just read, thank you for pointing out that I am probably being unrealistic here so will have to re-think that one! I had felt a bit like I was being told off by my dad with your previous posts in this thread but I do understand what and why you have said it. I don't want to do the bankruptcy thing because the OH and I had actually saved up for the car and the nice TV we have and the last thing I want is to have to sell them to pay towards the debts. I know that sound selfish but if I am planning to live off very little for the next 5 years or more then I want to keep the nice things I already have to remind me that I can do this.

Dithering_Dad

Just to make sure that you make your financial decisions based on fact and not fear...

If you go bankrupt your boyfriend's possessions will not be affected. Even if you both went bankrupt, if either of you needed the car for work, you'd be able to keep it.

Sometimes other assets can be ignored by the OR, including TV's where the resale value just amounted to a few pounds

http://www.insolvencyhelpline.co.uk/bankruptcy/what-happens-to-your-assets-in-bankruptcy.php

p.s. I find it hard to believe that you're willing to spend the next 5 years scratching along just for a TV or a car. Surely quality of life is more important than material things? Especially when you take into consideration the depreciation of these assets - neither will have much value in 5 year's time.

Ossireo

As much as DD is strongly opinionated in his posts he does have some points. Do you have any thoughts on how you are going to gain an extra £500+ a month?

I am always on the side that likes to trick myself! To explain, I like to set a goal then be pleased with myself that I actually blew it out the water :rotfl: Have you considered looking at what you can afford 'now' and then use that date, then you can adjust it when you can make bigger payments.

I would hate to see you feel you have failed at the first month after all this hard work because of the huge pressure you have put yourself under with this potentially unrealistic challenge :A

**kym**

butterfly_01 wrote: »

Dithering Dad - I was not expecting the post I just read, thank you for pointing out that I am probably being unrealistic here so will have to re-think that one! I had felt a bit like I was being told off by my dad with your previous posts in this thread but I do understand what and why you have said it. I don't want to do the bankruptcy thing because the OH and I had actually saved up for the car and the nice TV we have and the last thing I want is to have to sell them to pay towards the debts. I know that sound selfish but if I am planning to live off very little for the next 5 years or more then I want to keep the nice things I already have to remind me that I can do this.

:T Well done butterfly on talking to your OH, and making a commitment to deal with your debts!

I was pleased to see you on the £5/£10 a day challenge board - perhaps you could join the October Grocery Challenge to compliment it? Spend little, make a little, spend very little, make a little more, this time next year rodney....