Help, required over housing

Melc234

My family, proberly dont even know theve 3 grandchildren. I did try to phone last year, but their number has changed.

xcat_girlx

do you have any friends or anything left?

any sibblings etc?

ChasingButterflies

Hi,

First of all (hugs)

Just a though re being able to contact your family for support.

Is it possible to write a letter to their last known address - perhaps writing on the outside that if the adressee is no longer there could it be forwarded on if they have an address? This would be even better if a neighbour/friend could be your return address or you could even just put your mobile number in the letter - so that if it didn't get where you had hoped it wouldn't be returned. Are there any relatives that could be on Facebook etc? that may know how to get into contact with (I am presuming) your parents?

I would strongly suggest that you contact your local womens aid - although I know that this would be easier said than done. They are clued up on a whole spectrum of issues including housing. Nobody has the right to make you feel the the way you do - you have done nothing wrong.

Lots of best wishes and luck x

eta - please remember to clear your cookies and browsing history.

Melc234

Ive not got a mobile, or any friends. Just feel like in a room with the walls caving in.

ChasingButterflies

Do you have a landline? Perhaps put in a "safe" time of day to contact you.

You do have a wealth of support here hun... I can't do anything about the walls I am afraid - If I could, I would though

xcat_girlx

do you take the kids to school?

i know it might feel uncomfortable, but 1 of the teachers might be able to offer some support

shell_girl

It might be worth you contacting one of the numbers in my sig for some information about your rights and for someone understanding to talk to. He doesn't have to be violent to be abusive, and threatening to have the kids taken away from you is one of the most common forms of emotional abuse. Also google Rights of Women- they can give you free legal advice re your position. Hope this helps x

november

Melc234 wrote: »

Ive not got any contact with my family, he stopped me having contact with them 6 yrs ago. Just feel really trapped. Hes went out this morning, but took babys carseat with him, so i cant get out.

This is DV as shell girl says. How far away are things like a solicitor and your housing association or a phone box to call Women's Aid? If he takes the baby's car seat again could you walk and carry the baby so you can get the help you need? Women's Aid would be a really good start as they will support you and having someone to talk to helps a lot

To be honest one thing I wouldn't do is change the locks when he is out. He has a right to live there at the moment plus it may simply provoke him.

Baybee1984

First of all, well done on taking the first step and deciding to go your seperate ways! From what you've told us this isnt a very nice man and you're doing the right thing in walking away!

Secondly, altho you're not together anymore hes still controlling you and I agree with the other posters. You need to seek advice hun! Whether it be to call a helpline or one of the services the above posters advise, or to talk to someone. That should be your next step, and they should be able to help you and point you in the right direction regarding the housing too.

Good luck hun hope it all works out for you!!

bestpud

Please don't change the locks (however tempting it seems) as he is a joint tenant and has as many rights as you, as the tenancy currently stands. You can definitely get into trouble for denying him access to his home.

Contact either the CAB or a women's refuge, or both, and ask them to recommend a local solicitor.

The solicitor will write to your OH and ask him to leave the house, because it is better for you to be there with the children.

If he refuses they will eventually apply to have his name removed from the tenancy, and, apparently, he will have no chance of getting the HA or any court to allow him to occupy a family HA home while you and the children are made homeless! I don't know the full ins and outs but it is what a solicitor told me 2/3 years ago.

Do not leave the home (unless you consider yourself or the children to be at too high a risk) and do not agree to have your name taken from the tenancy. You are actually in a stronger position with it being a HA house because of the demand for housing and them not wanting single people occupying family homes.

If you do leave, you will put yourself in a vulnerable position housing wise as you will be classed as voluntarily homeless and they will not offer you another HA property. I'd have thought private renting would be hard going for your children (the disabled on in particular) and also, it can be hard to get LLs to accept non-workers and/or with people with young children.

I don't know if this can be got around if you leave through fear of harm to yourself and/or the children and get decent advice and so follow the 'proper channels' though?

Please seek advice asap. Good on you for making the decision - now you need to follow it through and try to keep one step ahead of his controlling behaviour.

Best wishes to you and your littlies.