'Asking others to give up their bus seat…' blog discussion

torikate

I too am quite wary of offering my seat to someone who needs it. A few months ago I offered my seat on the bus to an elderly gentleman who had a stick. I was quite taken aback when he shouted that he didn't need my charity?! He still took the seat though!
That said I always try to make eye contact/smile when I see someone who I think needs my seat. That tends to prompt them to ask me for it which of course I don't mind. I do find though that the people who don't offer their seats tend to be those who moan about 'the youth of today', or maybe thats just me!

earthmother

I was one of those children who was made to get up for those in more need of my seat, and I still do so now.

It didn't do me any favours once though - I was about 11, my sister was 6 years younger, and it was a very hot day with very bad traffic, so our normal 10 minute journey was very obviously going to take much longer. We (and mum) got the last couple of seats, but at the next stop two old ladies got on. My sister and I gave up our seats for them (without being asked) and stood for the rest of the journey, while they sat next to my mum complaining to each other about how rude and inconsiderate the young people were these days!

foxxymynx

I'm a big mouth...and I don't deny it. I would have done the same and on a personal note I have to do it most times that I'm on a bus - I have to ask someone to let me into the wheelchair bay - which isn't always greeted nicely, with other people assuming that they should be able to sit anywhere that they want.

foxxymynx

Ok, I've read this thread and people seem happy to give up their seat if someone else less able to stand needs it, but I've also noticed that alot of people have said "if they ask" - it's really embarressing to ask someone if you can have their seat, drawing even more attention to your ailments/age/disability which makes you feel a bit rude and attention seeking, - even though you blatently aren't, that's sometimes how it feels, so people will try to stand, even though they are unable to do so.

I know that some ailments/disabilities are invisible (for example many kinds of chronic pain) so on both parts that wrries me. Granted it has been a long time since I used a bus when I was on sticks, but when I did I always feared that I'd ask someone who was in pain for example, due to an invisible disability. On the flip side, before I was using sticks, I feared being asked to stand, - because I couldn't stand without an obscene amount of pain - but my disability was invisible to the rest of the world.

Anyway, the above is why I believe that you should offer your seat if you can, instead of waiting to be asked.

Cloudane

^ Yeah, I was thinking that.

Yes, you will get the occasional miserable person who will throw your kindness in your face and bark back that they're 'not an invalid' or whatever. They're the ones being rude, not you. Personally, I'd probably end up dropping the politeness and returning a "fine, you can f*** off and stand then"! - shortly before smiling and standing up for the next one as if nothing ever happened.

janaltus

Toonie wrote: »

what I get annoyed with around here is there are a lot of elderly people who sit on the outside seat, put their handbag or coat on the inside seat and not move, even when someone their age or older gets on.

Not so much elderly ... I've noticed a lot of posh people (men with laptops and women with pricey handbags) who do that on buses in West London - we don't suffer from that much here in the East End! Funny that!:rotfl:

Also, perhaps people are more territorial on buses than they are on the Tube and trains?

Still, I've just come back from a trip to the West End and - on the way there and back - seats were offered to me on the trains, tube and buses so I can't complain at all (today!!!).

Sneezy

I would always stand if an elderly person got on a bus/train etc, although when i do stand for someone i'm usually greeted with a surprised look!

I was on a bus between Aston and Piccadilly in Manchester in Mid-Aug and an older lady was standing up (she was getting off at the next stop) and because the bus braked suddenly she nearly went flying - i went to stop her from falling over - again greeted with surprise/thanks.

bramblejam

Well I feel very proud of the 45 bus route here in Bristol. I sometimes see a very frail man with two sticks. One day the bus was packed, I think I was sitting on the stairs, the guy with the sticks got on, was almost passed from hand to hand to a disabled seat and a rugby-type chap practically carried him off the bus when we got to the health centre (yes, he did intend to get off there!). Normally Bristolians are a surly bunch but they excelled themselves that day.

beanielou

You did the right thing Martin.
Wish more peeps would.

RichyRich

I will more than happily give up my seat for someone that needs it more than me, and will offer it without being asked. That being said, not everyone is able to give up their seat (despite how they might appear) and it irritates the hell out me when a significant minority of mainly older people have some misplaced sense of entitlement to any seat they desire irrespective of who is sitting on it. The person sitting there may be no more able than you to stand, mofo!