'Asking others to give up their bus seat…' blog discussion

Cornball

I will always get up for the elderly or infirm but I admit I never get up for children. I'm only 28 but when I was a youngin' we had to get up for adults! They worked hard all day and we kids had endless energy.

It irks me to see kids sitting instead of being forced up like I was! It's only fair!

Paddington

I think most people simply don't notice. I'd give up my seat for someone very elderly or incapacitated in some way but I'm not sure where my cut-off would be on age as some OAPs would be offended!

I'm 29 weeks' pregnant and have been offered a seat a couple of times on the train; I wouldn't expect it automatically but I think it's lovely when people do offer.

janaltus

I'm disabled (and use sticks) and travel by train, bus and tube - often in the rush hour. Although I am youngish I can't stand for long and am amazed how very good people are at offering me their seats on a train and tube but ... strangely, how reticent they are when on a bus.

On entering any busy bus, now I say to the driver - in a loud voice (but directed towards the rear of bus) - "Please don't set off until I am safely sitting down!" With the bus stationary until I get a seat, it is stunning to see all these fit and healthy people (who are impatient to get the bus moving again) stand up and enthusiastically offer me their seat! It works every time (and I always say thank you)! :j

Oh! and if you try this, don't forget to give the driver the OK to start going, once you are safely sitting down, otherwise the bus won't move!

Good luck with the ribs Martin. Have you tried Arnica? Homoeopathic I know but I found it effective.

tealady

I will give up my seat for someone else, the problem is I usually have my nose in a book and don't always notice what is going on. The people who really infuriate me are those who put their bags on the seat when the bus is full, I just ask them can I sit down and smile brightly at them!
I have also got up out of my reserved train seat to offer it to peolpe with children, parents are usually grateful for that.

penny.wright

Martin had the perfect approach - people actually enjoy helping others so if you have a problem ASK NICELY and it will be 'win, win'.
I like the idea of asking the driver to wait until you sit down. Bus drivers often set off with a great lurch of the bus so if you have balance problems or any extra luggage you risk falling down.

horsechestnut

I have arthritis and can find it a problem standing sometimes, but other days I am fine!
Our local trains can be crowded and the other week I was sitting down next to the window, with someone next to me in the aisle seat. I noticed that a pregnant woman, who was also carrying a toddler and I got up and insisted that they have my seat. The passenger next to me didn't move and I had to struggle past her and the pregnant woman then had to struggle in.

Plenty of young people sitting down looking out of the windows!!!

Young females with lots of shopping bags taking up two, or sometimes three, seats. I just ask them to move their bags very sweetly, giving my profuse thanks and frequently strike up a conversation with them!!! The last thing that they want!!!

Well done Martin. All you need for evil to succeed is that good people do nothing.

DKLS

Would happily give my seat up, but am much more cautious in who I offer a seat to these days. A while back I saw an obviously (to me) pregnant lady, sweating profusely and struggling to stand in the carriage isle.
I suggested in her condition she should take my seat, Loudly she berated me, as she "wasnt pregnant just effing fat" I quickly hid my face behind a copy of the metro.

Tarry

I give up my seat to older people but one time I did it, I totally lost my balance (I do not have good balance on moving vehicles) and ended up on her lap! Talk about embarrassing. That said I will always do so.

Cloudane

Nice one. Admittedly, I'd probably be too shy to ask anything like that. But I would stand myself for anyone less able to stand. My mother taught me well :j

Speaking of which, though:

gremlin wrote: »

Everyone was on the coach taking up double seats with them and their bags. I wandered up and down the coach with my littlies and every one of them pretended not to see.

Fatal mistake is 'asking' a group of people if one of them can do something (or in this case, even worse, just hoping they will notice). I learned this one a while back as part of my shyness issues. If you ask a group of people, they will all just sit there hoping that someone else will do it; it takes an unusually extroverted/helpful person to take the initiative and only a select few (say 1 in 100?) are like that. Even then most of them are probably trained to be the 'volunteer' e.g. doctors etc. People are so bad for this, I've heard of people lying injured in the street or something and everyone just walks past assuming that someone else will do something.

The best way is to pick one person and ask directly. Whilst only 1 in 100 seem to have the initiative to respond to a "can anyone" request, closer to 99 out of 100 (long as it's not some gobby chav) will be polite enough to comply if asked directly.

Toonie

I always will get up for people if they need the seat more than I do, but what I get annoyed with around here is there are a lot of elderly people who sit on the outside seat, put their handbag or coat on the inside seat and not move, even when someone their age or older gets on. I just find it really rude, because they are also the people who expect seats to be given up for them.

That would never stop me giving up my seat though, I was brought up to be considerate and try and help if I can and I will always do so. I have also asked loudly for seats to be given up for people and will go on until someone does.