Sons relationship at an end. Mother trying to keep out of it!

specialK

:embarasse You've made me blush now!

I hope that is how we will be. We eat most meals together but the children go to Grandparent's for tea twice a week. But Sunday's are a ritual and the only thing in their minds are how many extra potatoes there are! :rolleyes:

I act like the biggest kid though, I'm always singing silly song's and dancing around the house. I sometime's take my skills on shopping trips! They look on in horror now rather than laugh (but sometime's they can't resist! )

When you feel strong as a unit, you know you have each other and thing's don't seem so bad anymore

Ahh bless! Your Mum has good taste I have family in Devon and spent many a summer there when I was younger. Even as a child I always remember how relaxing it made me feel. Hope you all have a brilliant time:j

Threebabes

You come across as a lovely mam, neither I or my DH have that sort of relationship with our parents, so very much hope we have it with our kids when they grow up.

I hope your DS knows how lucky he is having you. Its hard enough when they are small and you can protect them as much as possible, it must be hard when adults themselves.

Enjoy your hols.

skintas_2

your son is very lucky to have you, he will get over this, yes its tough, it happen to a friend of mine in the last month. the worstthing is not being honest, if you dont want to be with someone just say, dont give them false hope, hes sounds like a lovely man,no wonder hes so hurt. it takes someone special to take someone elses children on too. she sounds like shes playing mind games, he will pull thru this, good luck and big hug for your son x

sparrer

Thank you everyone for your comments. I understand not having a close relationship with parents, my mother could be in the Guiness Book of Records as the least maternal person. It's no fun growing up as the child of a business woman, specially in the 50's when it was virtually unheard of, so I promised my children would know they're the most important people in my life. Believe me, they don't get smothered...I can be a bit of a haridan when I need to, but what is so rewarding is they always get in touch or come back when there's a problem.

SpecialK re taking your skills on shopping trips, good for you - my fav is to ask if I can borrow someone's husband (they don't put stuff on lower shelves for 5 feet nothings), and I've been offered several on a permanent basis!!!

My DS and DD's fav is to walk one each side of me (they're both taller than me, but then so is everybody), in the street and cry out' No Mum, not the cellar tonight, please!', or 'Please Mum, please can we have some food this week?' or worse, in the car 'Help we're being driven by a mad woman!' Bless! :mad:

Threebabes it doesn't take much to be a family, the best I can say is let them go as they grow, and they'll never leave you. Even if I do want some 'me' time occasionally I just think how quiet and clean and BORING the house is when they've all gone.

Today DS has got to be linesman at a couple of footie matches, one a girls team . He'll be fine, the ripples on the pond always smoothe out given time.

Now I just have to go and pacify DD who had 2 of her dogs fight this morning and blood was shed, then come back, shop and cook for the boys (DS and young lodger), clean the house and car, throw a pair of clean knickers and a toothbrush in a bag and then I can take the Mother away for her break :doh: .

Thanks again everyone :A , have a good week and take care.

Sparrer

specialK

Hehe at your shopping experience's! I am just the same I have acted out circus tricks with the kid's in the past, just to get something from the top shelf! DD already towers over me and DS who is 8 in a few weeks is up to my eye's already :O

Himself, tries to tell me I am not even 5 foot, I am adamant that I am.....plus half an inch He is 6ft 4, so it's obviuos who the kids take after!!

Everything seems to be typical of today's family life, always one of them
to worry about!

Hope you have a great time! You have even managed to sway the sunshine this weekend I am off to the garden to potter about!

kawasaki_dave

Being the DS in question, I've read this thread a couple of times and wondered how to respond, or even if I should.

The full story is far too long to go in to and would take pages.

All I can say, is I do know how lucky I am to have my mum - even when she's the last person in the world I want to talk to, I know I can, and that means so much.

The other thing, is whatever messages are being sent, mixed or otherwise, my (ex)partner was "the one", and while I know time is a healer and all that, sometimes pain can't be healed.

consultant31

The replies by kawasaki_dave and karenw are so depressing and I really hope they prove to be wrong.

My youngest daughter has only been married just over a year and has recently found out that her husband has been cheating (there are suggestions that he has fathered a child by another girl, though this is unproven so far).

My daughter is naturally completely devastated as are the rest of both families. I want to ring him up and tell him exactly what I think but I know it's not my place (actually, that's not true - what I really want to do is put my hands round his throat and squeeze till he stops breathing!)

DD knows I'd take the pain from her if I could but I feel so useless. I'm not sleeping more than a couple of hours a night and I know DD is the same. She's lost a stone in weight in just 2 weeks and I'm so worried about her. She wants him back, but she hates him for what he's done.

Sorry to hijack the thread, it just struck a chord, especially since I keep thinking 'she's young, there's plenty more fish in the sea' but instinctively I know she's going to be feeling like kawasaki_dave and karenw.

specialK

I think there is always that someone, who can leave our world feeling lonely and empty. Someone who takes a long time to be forgotton, but always remain on our heart.

I know people telling you things will get better, don't make it any easier, but it really does. As the saying goes, 'It's better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all'. I really believe this.

When you can dream of 'happy ever after' and it all comes crashing down around you, it takes a long time to 'get over it'. I don't think you can, 100 percent, but you learn how to deal with the pain. You grow to thankful for the time you spent together and you have memories that last forever. One day, you will come to realise that you want them to be with someone who makes them happy, like you couldn't.

Life really is unfair at times but you can take comfort in the fact, there are people worse of than you. I don't mean this to sound shallow or nasty, but you hear of things and you are glad that it isn't happening to you. As much as we hurt, someone is hurting more.

We can make pain manageable, once we have grieved. Sometimes it can take years, but whilst you don't feel it at the time, you are gaining strength. One day, the pain and tears will stop and only come back when we make them, when we think of them or hear something about them.

I was told, life isn't an easy ride by my Mum, I wish it was but hey hoe, what
can you do?!

I don't take anything for granted or give myself 100%, this way I can't be let down. I know this is holding me back , but it will do for now.

Honestly, all pain can be controlled or made easier to manage. There just hasn't been a pill designed for this pain yet!

For the Mum's reading this, you are already doing the best thing. You can't wrap us up in cotton wool (being a Mum myself, boy do we try!) But we have to find our own way of dealing with things, it makes for a stronger tomorrow.

Feeling very emotional now!, so off to ring my friend, who's DS is having an operation.

fluffyb

I hope your son is coping ok

Ironically, since I first posted on this thread my lovely daughter has split with her boyfriend. She is heartbroken

S[URL="file://\\he"]he[/URL] lives at home and so we are seeing it all first hand and it is sooooo hard. When your kids are hurting you hurt too.

Such is life, eh?

frannyann

kawasaki_dave wrote: »

Being the DS in question, I've read this thread a couple of times and wondered how to respond, or even if I should.

The full story is far too long to go in to and would take pages.

All I can say, is I do know how lucky I am to have my mum - even when she's the last person in the world I want to talk to, I know I can, and that means so much.

The other thing, is whatever messages are being sent, mixed or otherwise, my (ex)partner was "the one", and while I know time is a healer and all that, sometimes pain can't be healed.

I am sending you best wishes down the interweb! Time is a healer, but it does take time! Grieve for the love you have lost, don't let it harden your heart to a new love. There will be another 'one' one day, and even though I know you will shake you head at that statement, I want a beer when I get the chance to say 'I told you so'.

good luck and take care of yourself.