Simplifying Life - Mark II

mary43

Thanks all of you.
I've come up for air after having phoned several people I forgot about yesterday ..........now I find they're out or they'll return calls and don't -well not yet anyway.
Still Big Bruv back tomorrow.........he'll be wanting to hurl everything out of the flat I expect when there's no need - weve up to 3 months to sort it and it'll give friends and relatives a chance to think about what they might want as a 'token' of Mum. A lot of people need that extra time for things like that.
Well, tomorrow I'll take a complete break and make a Thankyou card for the care home. They really were good to my Mum - I'd love to get them something but other than a tin of chocolates I don't know what - they had choccys at christmas.

*moggins*

Mary I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear your news about your mum.

Very glad to hear that the biopsy result was a good one though.

ceridwen

Hi Mary

Re the home - are you a cake baker? Maybe you could do them a nice one if so? Other thoughts - hmmm....being a creative sort of person - maybe you could make them something like a nice dried flower arrangement for the hallway or something?

Hope you and Bruv manage to work out a suitable "happy medium" re your Mum's things. I understand why he would want to deal with it quickly - because I tend to be that way myself - to me its something I would want to get sorted out quickly - so I wasnt having to think about it for that long and it may be that thats his way of trying not to focus on something that perhaps he will find upsetting too.

I can understand why you - on the other hand - would feel that there is 3 months to do it in - so would want to do it more gradually. I can see that you would want to give people the chance to take "tokens" to remember your mother by - so I hope things work out smoothly on that front for you. I guess maybe thats one of the next tasks perhaps - ie working out a list of your Mum's friends and relatives that you feel would want to have some remembrance token??

firework

oh, mary - sorry to hear the sad news and happy to hear the good. thinking of you...

verynewmoneysaver

So sorry to hear about your Mum Mary.

mary43

Thanks, you're all so kind.

ceridwen - I see where your coming from -in fact Mum was like that whe Dad went........started to sort out stuff straight away and said if she didn't it would never get done. It also gave her something to do and we had a bit of a chuckle about the huge load of jumpers dad had bought from charity shops along with other bits (thats where I get it from,.......lol) I expect if I were nearer I might be doing much the same but not in such a rapid way when there's so much other stuff to do -paperwork etc,
I've spoken to a few friends and relatives and made a list of who would like what -told brother as well so he doesn't go chucking something out that someone would like. There's very little I want...........the house was cleared when Mum was taken ill and most little mementos found a home then.
We've been trying to work out the cost of car hire and b & b when we go down there - very much dictates how long we stay.
Then I got an e mail from a Family History friend (I've only met her once but it turns out her mum and dad knew my dad and were from the same village.
Anyway, I was babbling on to her about various arrangements and she's offered me a double bed for Thursday night next week. She lives in the same town the funeral is leaving from so its perfect. After the funeral I think we'll see if we can stay with my sons partners parents..........we can spend the evening with both my sons and it'll round off the day nicely. I'll come back via Mums flat, collect the pieces left to me and that'll be that for the time being. Brother leaves for Spain shortly after the funeral and is coming back end of March so I can see him then and tidy up any other loose ends..........hopefully.
Market day tomorrow so I'm going out to get some pretty paper for a Thank you card plus a breath of fresh air,.
I'm the worlds worst in the kitchen ceridwen and they have so many floral things at the home ..............she had a jigsaw bought for her years back that one of the staff did for her and framed...........if she doesn't want it maybe the home would like that, Have to investigate that one.

mary43

Just an update on how things are going
Well, Big Bruv continues to go into 'panic mode' as far as flat contents are concerned Have sorted out a list of people and things -one being my son who wanted a small check covered stool, purely as a memento of his childhood. Told brother who has now given it to his son instead.
He's also changed the music I'd chosen to play mum 'in and out' with - he agreed with it at the time.
He's also booked an extra funeral car to accomodate my kids and his plus partners -not allowing for my teenage grandchildren who just may want to come.
He's also having a bit of a hissy fit on how many people might want to turn up afterwards for the tea and cakes etc, because of the cost so I've got to ring around and find out.
I've to ask people to collect their allocated stuff,
I've also check to see if anyone has space in their car for his MIL,
and he;s getting in a right muddle with probate - seems under the impression I've got papers here to do with finance when I've not - he kept them all under lock and key but can;t find them.
He wants me to stay down there until he goes back on March 5th - I've got a dental appt. March 2nd thats been cancelled twice (front tooth needs coming out and sticking on my denture before it falls out !) and I can go back down on 27th March when he comes back and finish off clearing everything out.
Ho hum............don't these things always bring about the short fuses!

On the plus side, foster daughters OH has managed to get hold of another car for us -cheaper than we thought it would be so at leasy we don't have to hire a car.
Have asked about a staff fund so we can give something to the care staff at the home and yes, there is one, so that's all sorted - or will be when we get down there.
So, things are getting done albeit in a higgledy piggledy fashion. I'll do my bit on Monday and let brother know then suggest he sits back, pours himself a glass of something and tries to unwind a bit. Not easy but he'll spin round like a top if he carries on.

Sorry if this sounds like a 'rant' - it isn't really.........just goes to show how complex these things can be. Has to be lessons learned from all this I think.

Hope you're all well and 'simplifying' a lot better than I am..........lol

ceridwen

Hi Mary

Well.....sounds like you're coping with Bruv's "alarums and excursions" on this better than I would....I can see several points where my teeth would be gritted visibly if it were me....

Guess you've had plenty of practice at coping with people being "awkward" or whatever in your capacity as foster mum...

Hope things sort out okay eventually on this for you.

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On my own simplifying front - still finding that blogs are helping me sort out things. I've gone on a diet several times before - the Slimming World one to be precise - as I think its the best one I've come across and wrote down bits and pieces to do with it on bits of paper - which duly got chucked when I reached "mission accomplished" status. Why on earth did I let some of that weight creep back on again? - could just have summat to do with a taste for wine with dinner....errrmm... So - I'm in the process of writing out the various bits I require for this diet again - but this time on my private blog - then I know I've got it permanently (should I ever require it again.....darn well better not!!!). So - I'm duly putting in posts on basic daily mealplan/number of Sins per the items I eat most/suitable "free food" lunches and dinners for myself (with written by each recipe the ingredients I'd need to buy in for it - over and above those I always have in). So - I'm figuring if I write in a month's worth or so of "free food dinners" then I can just "recycle" that list however many times I have to until I reach normal weight again.

So - thats my bit of simplifying for the day.

I'm definitely a fan of keeping blogs to organise oneself - looks like I might possibly have encouraged a few more MSE posters with useful stuff to say for themselves to get blogs too.....heh!

firework

hi mary, been thinking about you today - was hoping you were having an ok day... your big bruv seems to be coming a bit unravelled from what you've said, and quite thoughtless (or deliberatley mean) of him to do that with the stool - there's nowt like a funeral to bring out the best in some folk and the worst in others. is the funeral monday? hope it goes off ok for you. will be thinking bout you and sending you some (((hugs))). x

pagangirl

Hi folks, just catching up after missing weeks posts due to work - Mary , so sorry about your mum, I know you were sort of half expecting it, but it's still a shock when it happens. Sounds like you are being the strong one instead of your brother.
Big Hugs hunny (((((:heart2::heart2::heart2:))))) will be thinking of you next week.
Chuffed about your good news from the hospital - one less problem to worry about ! Look after yourself - anytime you want to unwind - we are hear to 'listen' - thats what your 'virtual' friends are for.