Simplifying Life - Mark II

Patchwork_Quilt

Thank you very much to you all. I enjoyed reading all of this, even the sad ones

Edited to say that I agree with the stuff about values. DH and I think we work because we are best friends first, if that makes any sense

mary43

Patchwork - that makes perfect sense to me.
Must add that I also think a good sense of humour is needed in any relationship -we all make mistakes and if we can laugh at our own as well as someone elses it certainly helps.
There's also a need to give each other 'space' to follow any interests that may have that differ from your own.
My ex OH was very possessive and at first I was flattered by so much attention but then I felt I had no life of my own.......with current OH we both allow each other that vital bit of 'space'.:o

Softstuff

mary43 wrote: »

There's also a need to give each other 'space' to follow any interests that may have that differ from your own.
My ex OH was very possessive and at first I was flattered by so much attention but then I felt I had no life of my own.......with current OH we both allow each other that vital bit of 'space'.:o

I think again that depends on the couple. With my ex-husband I had all the space I could handle (and he had enough to get up to lord knows what, but I share so many common interests with my OH now that we don't feel the need to do the same thing separately! The only exception to this would be salsa lessons.... tried to get him to them, but he looked like a marionette with tangled strings. So I shelved that one!

mary43

softstuff - another vital element in relationships is 'trust'. (goes with the 'honesty bit' really I suppose.


Well, at last...........photo albums are all sorted out in some kind of order:j
Four old ones to chuck out so I'm patting myself on the back :T

Did think I'd get the last one done this morning and paperwork this afternoon - not so...............people at the door, phone calls.........seemed it wasn't meant to be...........well not today anyway.
Think there needs to be a re-arrangement of some of the shoe boxes I use for storage on the shelves...............two are for cards I've made in advance so they need to stay as they are, Dads stuff in one is ok but there are two more that need going through so maybe over the weekend I'll get those done...............maybe

pagangirl

Hi folks - went to the doc's this morning - off work for a week with a chest infection, just can't seem to shake this one off !

Moggins/Ceridwen just thinking about values on your earlier posts - realised why ex partner & I split up - sitting here wondering what on earth we had in common in the first place! Can honestly say I haven't missed him being around - in fact it was like - yaaaaay - "freedom", as he was a bit of a control freak towards the end -( had me in tears once just for going to the library, and he didn't know where I was).

the level of materialism or otherwise -Him - spend money as soon as he got any, me - MSE

- the level of honesty - None, he used to lie to everyone all the time, even when there was no reason to - you couldn't believe a word he said.

- the degree of respect/consideration shown towards others as a whole -Depended on what sort of a mood he was in

- a sense of fair play in sharing out the housework/bill-paying that one has in common with the other person - Housework - what housework - don;t think he knew what the word meant/ bill paying - always in debt as he never had any money left to pay bills with

- what one expects in one's home as regards noise levels/sociability levels/cleanliness - When playing his electric guitars, amps etc. - yes it got very noisy/ sociability - depended on what sort of a mood he was in/ cleanliness - could've been better

- what level of importance one attaches to VIPs (ie the most important people in ones life personally) sharing a similar religious/spiritual outlook - or otherwise. - I'm a pagan and he didn't believe in anything which I found a bit sad.

Am actually a lot happier now without him, being on your own can make people (me) selfish - but it's lovely to wake up and plan what I want to do with my days off , what I want to eat and when I feel like eating it etc. I hate being told what to do and it was getting to be a very suffocating relationship.

(Whew rant over, sorry folks)

mary43

pagangirl - sympathise with you and the chest infection. I had one November last year - 6 weeks it lasted - really odd it was. Started with chesty cough -2 lots of antibiotics did nothing then doctor said it was a virus so they wouldn't -it would have to take its course ! It worked its way up to my throat (felt like I had a gold ball/rotten sock stuck in it!) then after that I got the most awful acid taste at the back of my throat when I ate or drank anything.
Still, its all gone now.............just OH suffering with flu type cold but he's tons better and think is now just going through the 'self pity' stage.:o

Your ex sounds a lot like mine...........was a relief when he left, even if it meant 2 years morgage outstanding that I knew nothing about !! :eek:

ceridwen

Hi pagangirl

No need to "apologise"....sounds like something you have been "bottling up" for a while...

Well...in my book personally....one of the advantages of getting older is one thinks more clearly about life. I certainly feel that I personally think a LOT more clearly about life than I ever used to do when I was younger in many ways - relationships being just part of it.

I'm trying to work out why this is....guess its a bit of a combination of one is a lot more "vulnerable" to societal pressure to be in a relationship regardless when younger - well a lot more vulnerable to societal pressure in every respect in fact - all the wanting to be seen to be "popular":eek: . Think its partly the effect of all those "raging hormones" coursing round .....oh the bliss of no longer being subject to the effects from them (errr....I could write a book about things I've done while "under the influence"...gulp....whew!) I suppose too there's an element of "life experience" by mid-life (both going through one's own - and watching how things pan out for other people).

hmmm......goes off pondering on that topic now......

mary43

ceridwen - there's the old saying 'if I knew then what I know now'............oh if only.............still then different decisions might have been made, different paths taken and we wouldn't be the people we are.

Well, I've let myself down today and not done anything to 'simplify' -apart from paying a few bills and filing a load of papers away. Looking around me there's some serious tidying up to do plus still have a load of picture frames and pictures I'd almost forgotten about.
Ho hum..................there's always tomorrow:rotfl:

Aril

Hello virtual friends:j
Well today I have been recluttering mindfully...yes sounds like a contradiction in terms doesn't it!! I have been very busy since Christmas working my way through the house and sorting out loads. At a guess I am about half way there now and have been freecycling/ passing bits onto my sister from the small person to her daughter and today there were 6 big bags of stuff taken to the annual jumble sale that I help at. Erm except that I came back with two smaller bags full. However, I now have things that I will definitely use like a decent kitchen timer because our oven's one has gone, books that I will read, enjoy and pass on and a few more summer weigh clothes [I'm not going to not get a per una skirt for 20p in my size if I'm an old styler now am I!!] The small person has found lots of treasure and the Quidditch Game he spent his pocket money on has kept him out of mischief all afternoon. I have eased my conscience by decluttering all my kitchen cupboards and fridge and am pleased that I didn't find anything lurking [except half jar of olives] or out of date food. It must be a first and even I can't use 659 empty margarine pots so out in the recycling they have gone!!
Some shorter quotes from me today.....
It's not that I'm so smart it's just that I stay with problems longer.
Albert Einstein
Remember you are the only person on earth who can use your ability.
Zig Zigler
And this one because I enjoy a caustic clever quote from time to time:D:D
The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin behind
Mark Twain
Hope you enjoy them!
Arilxx

mary43

Aril - love the quotes - all brilliant as ever :T

Sounds like you've been busy -I'm still surrounded by bags that need to go to the charity shop -where does it all come from ?

OH cleared out the freezer in the garage today - loads of meat that he's going to cook up and freeze as ready-meals. Made me think about our pantry.........my word does it need a sort out........its a 'walk in' one and houses saucepans, casserole dishes etc. as well as dried foods, jars of coffee and endless other stuff. Trouble is it really is a case of not being able to see the wood for the trees. Needs everything to be brought out, put on the kitchen table and going through - whats the betting there's some out of date stuff there lurking...........:eek: - plus empty jars that 'might come in handy'...............lol (don't think we've got a collection of margarine tubs though..........lol)