Simplifying Life - Mark II

Carolyntia

Hey Lilykins....how are those ebay listings going?

C x

[Deleted User]

Hi Guys,
Thanks so much for all your posts- so inspirational- really keep me motivated.
I have started to de-clutter, Ceridwen, your thread inspired me!
All the handbags are now ready to go on e-bay, got parents evening tomorrow but Weds night is time to sort all those killer heels, no need for them now I am being 'myself' - pumps and flip-flops are so much more comfy. Hope to make a bit more on e-bay to clear some debt.
Then will be attacking the loft in prepartion for a car-boot sale, fingers crossed will raise some more money, DH cant wait to clear the loft, he nags about it each time he goes up there!

Already feel empowered by progress and hope to keep going like this.
Thanks again everyone, would love to hear your stories :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Carolyntia

lilykins wrote: »

Hi Guys,
Thanks so much for all your posts- so inspirational- really keep me motivated.
I have started to de-clutter, Ceridwen, your thread inspired me!
All the handbags are now ready to go on e-bay, got parents evening tomorrow but Weds night is time to sort all those killer heels, no need for them now I am being 'myself' - pumps and flip-flops are so much more comfy. Hope to make a bit more on e-bay to clear some debt.
Then will be attacking the loft in prepartion for a car-boot sale, fingers crossed will raise some more money, DH cant wait to clear the loft, he nags about it each time he goes up there!

Already feel empowered by progress and hope to keep going like this.
Thanks again everyone, would love to hear your stories :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Go Lilykins!:j Sounds like you're getting into the swing of things already :rotfl:

throughtherain

Thanks for starting this thread - I have read with interest.

I'm 26 and recently married and my wife and I are trying to make a lot of decisions about our lives (where to live, should we buy/rent a house, should we travel, should we save like mad, when do we want children) and you're right about trying to live up to other people's expectations sometimes.

I have about £6000 credit card debt, mainly from being at university but I have earnt a lot of money since then and haven't been very wise with it, because I have been trying to live a certain lifestyle that I am starting to question whether I really want. I learnt from going to university that being in debt wasn't that bad and I thought I would earn enough to pay it back easily. But I have only in the last few months started to address this perspective and it's hard to change this sort of programming in yourself!

The biggest thing for us is everyone around us making us feel as though our biggest aspiration in life should be to get a mortgage and buy a house. I don't know if we're putting this pressure on ourselves or if it is actually coming from external factors!

Anyway I would also like this simpler life where I don't fill my life with shopping, expensive meals out and books I don't read!

[Deleted User]

Hi carolynita and tigerfeet2006, I am getting there, e-bay will have to go on tonight, took all the piccies, did all the descriptions and then when I came to weigh for postage realise that my scales had broke (DS had dropped them when we were baking last week). Was going to look at similar things for sale on e-bay and put same postage but decided that would wait til tonight and have the five day auction, to then end on Sunday evening, so after parents evening I'll be a busy girl.

Managed to get a new digital scales for £10, didnt really want to buy one but do use it for cooking and e-bay. Usually I would have bought the first one I saw, in this case it was £20 in Arg** but after little research online found one for £10 and bought it in lunch-hour yest, hate spending money though at moment.

Have read about the snowball calculator and been advised to do this by others, just need to sit down and actually do it- another task for this week!!

Also want to look at the challenges and comitt to some of those :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Deleted User]

throughtherain wrote: »

Thanks for starting this thread - I have read with interest.

I'm 26 and recently married and my wife and I are trying to make a lot of decisions about our lives (where to live, should we buy/rent a house, should we travel, should we save like mad, when do we want children) and you're right about trying to live up to other people's expectations sometimes.

I have about £6000 credit card debt, mainly from being at university but I have earnt a lot of money since then and haven't been very wise with it, because I have been trying to live a certain lifestyle that I am starting to question whether I really want. I learnt from going to university that being in debt wasn't that bad and I thought I would earn enough to pay it back easily. But I have only in the last few months started to address this perspective and it's hard to change this sort of programming in yourself!

The biggest thing for us is everyone around us making us feel as though our biggest aspiration in life should be to get a mortgage and buy a house. I don't know if we're putting this pressure on ourselves or if it is actually coming from external factors!

Anyway I would also like this simpler life where I don't fill my life with shopping, expensive meals out and books I don't read!

Throughtherain, conratulations on your recent wedding, I really understand your situation as we feel exactly the same and did do when we got married. I didnt even know that you could rent at house at the time when I married sixteen years ago- how stupid was I? everyone I knew just got together then got a mortgage- nobody told me there was an option of renting- if I'm honest though, I would have still wanted to buy a home to be the same as everyone else.

So in the mid-nineties we moved into our first new-build home and our problems started, we lived on a new estate with all young couples like ourselves, with an unwritten rule that you had to 'keep up' with the neighbours, thats when our problems began, although I have only recently realised that.

Sixteen years and several house moves later and my levels of debt and stress has lead to my LBM, I have been carried along in a lifestyle that isnt me- we no longer live on a new housing estate although we do have a huge mortgage. Our neighbours are lovely and mostly older than us and there is no 'competition' or keeping up with the Joneses.

We drove past where we used to live at the weekend, there are several brand new housing estates near-by, all with massive 4x4's, audis or bmw's on the drive, it bought all those feelings back and I am so grateful that pressure is no longer in my life.

Sorry if I sound like I'm knocking new housing estates, its me, not them that are to blame for the pressure.

I do envy that you and your wife are just starting out and are able to take the time to consider what lifestyle you want not be 'carried along' with the Joneses'- good for you, make the decisions you both want not what you think your family want, they wont be sat with you in years to come at 2am worrying yourselves sick about how to pay those debts.

I may be starting late but with the support and advice from the wonderful people on this forum I feel I am finally working towards the lifestyle I want.

Sorry for rambling a bit, good luck to everyine in acheiving the lifestyle they aspire to - never thought I'd say this- its good to be different :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

feedumall

I love this thread:j,the simple life is calling to us to:D,never tried to keep up with the neighbours but i do own lots of things:o,a move to a boat or abroad is on the cards so less is more mind set is needed.Iam a bookaholic but no more buying books ,and lots must go:eek:,yesterday my hubby asked if i would like a kindle, i said no:Da test i thought i would never pass:D

bugslet

ceridwen wrote: »

My understanding of the rules (clarified after some discussion on here) is that one cant post links to the blog of "oneself or a friend" - but CAN post up other useful links.

So - I would say - post up any and all useful links you have (assuming they arent either "blog by self or friend" or a "commercial" link)....:)...and I'm hoping personally that they might be new ones to me as well:D

Thanks ceridwen - none of these are me:D and I don't know them either:p

If you have been reading some of the blogs, you may know the first two at least.

http://mnmlist.com/

http://www.missminimalist.com/

http://www.bemorewithless.com/

http://www.alifesetfree.com/

Hope those are OK to post links for.

mummysaver

Lilykins - congratulations on deciding to live life your way! I think it's all a question of finding a balance, I love my life (well most of the time anyway!), I enjoy cooking and baking, and I like bargain hunting, which all makes things a lot easier as I don't find them a chore! Adjusting your expectation and habits can be difficult, and also quite confusing for friends and family, but you will get there. I'm very lucky as most of my friends are quite happy in their own skins and aren't too concerned about status conferred by possessions, and my more money obsessed friends tend to just see me as a little eccentric, and the person to come to when they need a dose of reality lol!

My best advice on ways to save money is to look at your shopping habits, be it popping into town - try a nose around charity shops, or set yourself a budget and go to Primark with a friend and choose outfits for each other, rather than wandering into the more "exclusive" shops; food - try making a simple meal plan for just a couple of days and making a list, then sticking to it, this also frees up a lot of time as you aren't constantly wondering what to have for dinner, also means that you don't have so many takeaways cos you can't think what to eat; books, try the library or charity shops or bootsales! Shoes are my weakness though, but I don't buy anywhere near so many as I used to, and I try to wait for the sales, but I do think that as I economise in so many other areas, I can afford to spoil myself occasionally, besides I wouldn't want Kurt Geiger or Dune to go bankrupt lol!

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

GreyQueen

Hello, Lilykins and thanks for starting this thread and for all the other posters on it. I'm itching to get into those minimalist blogs btw,thanks for the linkies.

From my experience, I think a lot of people are putting up a facade of prosperity with fancy homes & cars, clothes, accessories and all the trappings of the so-called "good life" but it's often an empty shell. If those exhibiting wealth have a hiccup of ill-health or unemployment, it comes unravelled very quickly because its all style and no substance. To me, personally, I would rather dress from the charity shop and jumble sale and curl up in bed at night safe in the knowledge that the bills are paid and that I have an emergency fund to tide me over.

I came from a debt-advice background before my current job and I have to say that I detest debt. I don't mean that in a way of judging people who are/were/will be in debt, but from the point of view of a concerned person watching lives being constrained and sometimes ruined.

One of my ex-colleagues talked a married man down off a suicide attempt when he rang the national advice line which my department helped service. He was about to kill himself because it looked like their mortgaged house was about to be re-possessed. She talked him down by patiently going thru his situation and explaining that the very worst which would happen would be that he, his wife and two children would have to live in a rented house. And, with our help, it was possible that repossession could be avoided. When I think of how nearly someone destroyed himself and bereaved his wife and kids, my blood runs cold.

:T So, I say GOOD FOR YOU for wanting to simply your life.

On the subject of friends, I'd echo the others who have pointed out that true friends will be there with you on your journey and the no-so-loyal will fall by the wayside. I have to socialise differently to my more-affluent friends (and I seem to be the poor-church-mouse of my set and no, I don't care one bit ). So, maybe I can't go to the theatre with them to see whatever famous touring show hits Provincial City, but I can read the reviews in the newspaper (freebie cast off from a neighbour) and discuss it intelligently. And I can spend time with my friends at minimal cost doing other things.

I'm a disgustingly happy person most of the time and I shall be heading to the library before work to pick up the latest True Blood book which I reserved on Sunday (cost 55p) as opposed to the equivalent of an hour's wages to buy in the bookshop.

True Story from my life, which may amuse......

I return with my shopping to the town centre car park and hoik up the hatchback of the 15 y.o. Austin Maxi which was my very first car. I prop the lid open with a sponge mop handle as the hydraulic riser thingies are knackered and the heavy hatch will otherwise descend in slo-mo onto my head.

Three spaces away, a young couple get out of their Flashmoblie and the man makes an obviously derogatory comment about my car. It's just below the level by which I can make out the exact words, but the tone of his voice, facial expression and body language make it clear. He has too little self-awareness to read the look his girlfriend is giving me, that "Ohmigawd, I'm sorry he's being a prat" expression which some women share when their man is showing them up in public.

I drop the hatch and smile sweetly and say loud and clear; "At least it's paid for." His jaw literally dropped and she choked back a laugh and I drove off in my elderly, unfashionable, fully-paid for, taxed and insured and even clean car, chuckling.

You go your own way, gal, and one day you'll be debt-free and loving it and will have the quiet satisfaction of saying to yourself that you live your own life not someone else's. It's the best feeling there is.
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