Results of my OR interview

blind-as-a-bat_2

peachyprice wrote: »

I'm not really sure Bat it may have changed after the almighty !!!!-up? I know I used to get the credit when they did it through PAYE, and I had to pay all the overpayment pack myself:rolleyes: , but now we both have to fill forms in and both incomes are taken into account, and we both get letters telling us how much we're getting, but it's the same amount on both letters.

Having said does Molly even earn enough to pay tax, let alone get credits? If not logically it all has to be Mr Molly's, they can't give you tax credits if you don't pay tax!

CTC replaced child components in other benefits, there not conected to tax as such like working tax credits......i think, or should i say thats how a guy from IB explained it too me as i still get a child component in my IB as i recieved it before the change s it is still payed the 'old' way, which confused the HB computer no end:p ........but that makes it hard to figure out on what basis they are given, as there are so many reasons you can get them whether working or not

peachyprice

indeed bat!

blind-as-a-bat_2

RAS wrote: »

Molly,

I suspect that this will come out in the wash once the Child benefit is removed but having been on the small end of bankruptcy myself, I think it is important to accept that your children will get less stuff and different experiences.

It does not really matter whether you get money in the I&E for house maintenance or for presents, you decide how it is spent after all

The children will still get a hell of a lot more than half the kids in the UK, whose parents are on benefits but they will have to learn that you cannot borrow money, that holidays and presents need to be reasonably priced (if they even understand price yet) and that you have to have the money in hand.

You will need savings, because the rainy day cannot be covered on plastic; there will be times when they have to wait until you have saved up for something and you may be more concerned than other parents when they wreck clothing or other items if it affects your cash flow.

On the other hand they may well learn better financial skills and to value thing other than stuff which stand them in good stead. They may also learn to value stuff if it cannot be replaced in an instant.

They can only have what you have got. A better standard of living starts with a comfortable home and the opportunity to experience different places. Presents do not matter that much in the long run, although I know someone whose Christmas list routinely runs to thousands (not that he gets them).

I can only remember about three presents I was bought as a child; what we share today are our memories of camps, damming streams and paddling in rivers, stealing strawberries, getting stuck up trees, being angels in the nativity play, watching Doctor Who from behind the sofa and odd days out.

The really valuable things cost almost nothing - camping in the garden, mucking about together, making cakes or scones, chats over bed time drinks, blackberry picking, stirring the Christmas pudding, making paper chains together, bed-time stories and splashing in puddles. You have in common what you share together, not stuff.

Being a good or even better parent is about all those little things not about how much you spend on their pressies. You do not need much money to do them.

Can you convince my kids all that is true RAS cos they wont believe me, apparently im old fasioned and living in the past :rotfl:

tigerfeet2006

skylight wrote: »

:iloveyou:



I love this place! (And its not even my thread!)

Hear, hear Sky, my sentiments exactly :T

MollyBear

RAS wrote: »

Molly,

I suspect that this will come out in the wash once the Child benefit is removed but having been on the small end of bankruptcy myself, I think it is important to accept that your children will get less stuff and different experiences. I would hope not because they get hardly anything now.

It does not really matter whether you get money in the I&E for house maintenance or for presents, you decide how it is spent after all

The children will still get a hell of a lot more than half the kids in the UK, whose parents are on benefits we arent on benefits and my kids get next to nothing, my s.i.l is on benefits and her kids get everything but they will have to learn that you cannot borrow money, that holidays and presents need to be reasonably priced (if they even understand price yet)this they know already tho dont really understand, we dont have holidays and only have a small item for birthday and a couple of small things at xmas and that you have to have the money in hand.

You will need savings, because the rainy day cannot be covered on plastic; there will be times when they have to wait until you have saved up for something and you may be more concerned than other parents when they wreck clothing or other items if it affects your cash flow. we already are ilke this and have been for years due to having no money as its supped by debts

On the other hand they may well learn better financial skills and to value thing other than stuff which stand them in good stead. They may also learn to value stuff if it cannot be replaced in an instant. none of my kids have ever had anything replaced like this, mostly it isnt replaced at all, so sadly they already know this but dont understand

They can only have what you have got. try telling them that lol A better standard of living starts with a comfortable home and the opportunity to experience different places. Presents do not matter that much in the long run, although I know someone whose Christmas list routinely runs to thousands (not that he gets them). i also know these lists lol

I can only remember about three presents I was bought as a child; what we share today are our memories of camps, damming streams and paddling in rivers, stealing strawberries, getting stuck up trees, being angels in the nativity play, watching Doctor Who from behind the sofa and odd days out.

The really valuable things cost almost nothing - camping in the garden, mucking about together, making cakes or scones, chats over bed time drinks, blackberry picking, stirring the Christmas pudding, making paper chains together, bed-time stories and splashing in puddles. You have in common what you share together, not stuff. yes, very true and this happens already as we dont really have 'stuff'

Being a good or even better parent is about all those little things not about how much you spend on their pressies. You do not need much money to do them. i know, but feel like i cant even give them the basics nearly all the time, and even the time we spend together is strained as my mind is on other things - debts!

Thank you for taking the time to read my thread and to post such great wisdom - no I'm not taking the p*ss! What you have said is so true, but a lot of the things you said to start with already happen as we have nothing and havent had for some time.

Ashamedly our kids have had to wait for birthdays or xmas for clothes, books, toys, school stuff etc... and then it was usually bought by other family not us.

The small amount of time we do spend together is with us usually distracted as we are so stressed, tired etc to concentrate on them fully. This leaves us full of feelings of sorrow, loss and guilt.

We have gone BR to provide a better, happier life for our kids, not just through buying them things, but from being less-stressed happier parents.

We only have one life and one chance, I don't want to lose precious time with my kids. I already feel as though I have been 'putting them aside' so to speak so I can concentrate on bills, debts and all this. Instead of readign them a book, I'm reading about BR, IPAs etc. I hate it though it had to be done.

I am looking forward to laughing again, smiling at silly stuff and thinking a food fight with cake mix is great fun and not an incredible waste of food.

I have let my life be clouded by debt and stress and I've had enough. I'm sick of being depressed and feeling lost in it all. I'm tired of letting my mind be full of debt instead of fairy cakes and sports day. I'm fed up with caring about debt.

Well, no more, from now on things will get better. My kids will be truly happy and so will I. That's all I care about.

Molly
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betterlatethannever

MollyBear wrote: »

I have let my life be clouded by debt and stress and I've had enough. I'm sick of being depressed and feeling lost in it all. I'm tired of letting my mind be full of debt instead of fairy cakes and sports day. I'm fed up with caring about debt.:T :T

Well, no more, from now on things will get better. My kids will be truly happy and so will I. That's all I care about.

Molly
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Some brilliant and strong words there Molly. Good for you.

By showing the kids how (out of control)debt consumes you, ruins lives, takes away your self worth etc, hopefully your kids will never go through the hell of debt, Surely that has to be a hard lesson well learnt?

I worry though that i've gone too far. My DD screams blue murder if she goes into her OD by a penny - thankfully its only happened once. Shes also reluctant to go to college or uni, as that would mean debts.
Its a thin line between teaching them the hazards of debt and that, sometimes, debt is useful and a means to an end.

nootiful

Molly,

I can truly appreciate your situation with regards to your kids. My husband and I have been worrying about debt for over 2 1/2 years and it really does cloud your relationships with each other and especially your children.

My main concern is that when we go BR our we and our son aren't just turfed out of our rented accomodation and left with no where safe to live. After that we are quite happy to limit presents, outings that cost alot and holidays. We have been doing that for his whole life simply because we didn't want him to become a "gimme gimme" child.

Don't worry about them receiving smaller gifts, etc. They will be okay and will probably have a sense of pride when they are parents themselves that they weren't spoiled. They will understand the situation and appreciate how hard you DID work to make it good for them.

The best thing about it all is that all the time that USED to be taken up worrying about debts can be spent loving them and THAT is the best gift of all!

nomoneypenny

Thanks MollyBear, your post has ben so useful. Me and my husband had our BR hearing last Friday 4/9/08. Our telephone interview is 16/9/08 so this is really useful to know what we maybe asked. I'm dreading ours but your post with incomings/expend has really helped. Many Thanks

MollyBear

Hi nomoneypenny,

I'm glad it helped, it is quite daunting waiting for the OR interview, I thought that is was worse than the actual BR! lol Sooo glad it's over now though.

I'm glad I could help someone, this forum has given me so much it's only right to give some back.

Molly
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