How to meet a guy?

robpw2

OK,
Step ONE. STOP LOOKING

step two please refer to step one


seriousley for years and years i wanted to meet a guy etc and stuff but when i finally realised that i didnt need a guy and i was just trying to find someone to hide my lonliness fate played its hand and i met matthew


I would suggest perhaps trying speed dating you get to meet lots of different men in one night and at least you can tell what they will be like rather than looking at a profile online where some weedy man like the guy in the mister muscle advert has posted a pic of jude law and is telling you how nice they are... or is that just my expeirence?

sazziecee

I found my bloke when I stopped looking

Tried dating sites, but all the ones I clicked with, lived too far to make it work (as I only got 1 night free a week, which was mid week and the men concerned worked all week...)

Had a few 2 week flings with people I knew weren't right for me, then gave up!

I was on a local car forum and it was mainly 17 year olds (I was 26 at the time) so definitely wasn't on there looking for a bloke, then a guy who was 29 joined and I sent him a quick PM saying "nice to see there is someone older than me on here, haha" and we started talking on MSN, what I thought was as friends,he has a daughter close in age to my 2 boys, so we could chat easily.

After about 3 months he asked me out, I was totally not expecting it and said I would think about it!!! (he wasn't my usual type) and the next day he asked me again and I agreed.

Best thing I ever did I am happier than I have ever been, plus he only lives half a mile away so no nightmare arrangements.

taketwo

Hi
try looking up Spice or IVC in your area, neither of these are singles groups as such (though the membership is predominantly single) but multi activity groups, so give you a choice of things to go out and do, so you can actually get talking to someone while doing something which is a much more natural way to meet and see if you hit it off with someone.

Not trying to sound harsh, but if you are happy with yourself as a person in your own right, you are much more likely to meet someone who is attracted to you, so focus on that and just having a good time, rather than viewing every man as a prospective stepfather to your children.

Good Luck and have some fun

miserly_mum

agme28 wrote: »

Thanks guys

Guess the hardest part is accepting that it could take years to meet someone. Scary. Especially as my ex has been so lucky and has met up with an old flame within a month of him moving out, and despite a 260 mile difference and her also having kids, he seems very keen. So keen in fact, that he is constantly trying to rearrange the weekends with the kids to go and see her which gets my back up. But hey ho, I guess life can be that unfair...

Life sucks doesn't it.

My ex found someone fairly quickly aswell. This was the same time he stopped taking the kids over night etc and I hardly got out the door on my own, never mind night out.

Anyways......I was on my own for 4 years. It's nigh on impossible to meet anyone if you rarely get out. I decided to try internet dating. It took 2 years (on and off) until I met "the one" But we've been together 4 years and have a lovely little boy together.

Before meeting my Partner I had quite a few "dates". In all honestly even the awful ones were awful in a funny way.

I had some fun nights out with some really nice guys. Just because you don't click with someone romantically, you can still make the best of the night out.

I found those sort of dates really helped me regain my social skills. I found i'd got really boring after being stuck at home with only small children for company for so long. So i kinda look on them as trial runs

BTW OP , When I met my OH I was a 38 year old overweight, skint single mum of 5 Hardly a man magnet :rotfl: But I bagged myself a gorgeous, romantic, caring, loving toyboy. (Still not sure how mind you lol) .

As my Mother always said "there's someone or everyone"

owsaboutthatthen

Thanks OP for this post as I said earlier I too am in a similar boat. I can't believe some of these stories and fills me with hope. Not sure I want to be left on the shelf so to speak. In one respect I love the independence but in another respect I don't really have anyone to share anything with apart from my mother! All my friends etc have settled down and I feel a burden sharing all my problems with them, although if they are friends they shouldn't feel that way but that is another subject! Anyway I will read this subject further with interest.

Lizbeth

I agree... something like Spice is good as it fits around your life - there are lots of activities on offer and you can do as many or as little as you want.

It's a great chance to have fun, meet lots of new people (in the flesh) and you're more likely to find someone like-minded, rather than judging them on paper and the pressure of going out on a date!

Kazzajr

agme28 wrote: »

Guess the hardest part is accepting that it could take years to meet someone. Scary. Especially as my ex has been so lucky and has met up with an old flame within a month of him moving out, and despite a 260 mile difference and her also having kids, he seems very keen. So keen in fact, that he is constantly trying to rearrange the weekends with the kids to go and see her which gets my back up. But hey ho, I guess life can be that unfair...

Is the real reason you are wanting to be in a relationship because your ex has found someone?

I take it since you have young kids you have not been single long, can I ask what the rush is in finding someone?

Maybe you would be better not looking as such and just wait and see, try and enjoy your life as it is and be happy being single you have 2 los who should be your priority.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I wonder why so many single parents are desperate to find someone new almost straightaway.

Also I don't think you should have the idea of meeting someone purely for a long term relationship this sounds as though you will settle for anything, just look for dates and see what else happens.

foreversomeday

Horseygal wrote: »

Why ever not? I can only speak from personal experience and I found my wonderful OH via Match.com. We live 35 miles apart and would never have met any other way. My advice would be check their profiles very carefully, read between the lines and be choosy who you contact or respond to. The child/committment phobic ones stick out a mile - late 30's/40's never been married and expect only to meet women without kids. They are also the ones that if you go back to Match.com 6 months later their profiles are still showing & active - and they wonder why nobody wants them??

Joking apart they are a minority and there are some decent guys on there - honest!

xx

I just said I wouldn't bother with them - in my experience I find facebook etc better for keeping in touch with people I actually know. I find it hard to get to know strangers this way - and to be honest I have never used a dating site but I find the idea of picking out someone to date very odd, I much prefer to build up a relationship with someone and let romance develop rather than having that underlying pressure from the start.

That's just me though - everyone is different

cowbutt

Horseygal wrote: »

The child/committment phobic ones stick out a mile - late 30's/40's never been married and expect only to meet women without kids.

That's a pretty sweeping generalisation; I spent my 20s concentrating on my career and was moving around too much to date seriously, and my early 30s getting some stability back after trying my hand at starting and running my own business. I have a preference for meeting women without kids (young kids, anyway) simply because it's significantly easier to arrange dates and get to know each other. Ironically, it seems many of the women I've dated are comitment-phobic, and don't want to give up their 20-something party animal lifestyle and don't want to run the risk of being hurt by actually letting anyone into their lives.

owsaboutthatthen

Kazzajr wrote: »

Is the real reason you are wanting to be in a relationship because your ex has found someone?

I take it since you have young kids you have not been single long, can I ask what the rush is in finding someone?

Maybe you would be better not looking as such and just wait and see, try and enjoy your life as it is and be happy being single you have 2 los who should be your priority.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I wonder why so many single parents are desperate to find someone new almost straightaway.

Also I don't think you should have the idea of meeting someone purely for a long term relationship this sounds as though you will settle for anything, just look for dates and see what else happens.

I used to get this kind of thing thrown at me "do I want to meet someone because my ex has". The answer is no......yes the little ones are priority (mine are 4 and 2) but I have been apart now from my ex for 2 years (not sure about the OP) and I feel I'm ready to start meeting someone new. To be close to someone to share everything with and not just the intimacy. Its an accumulation of things where I find I need that adult company sometimes to keep my sanity without sounding selfish towards the children.