Who pays the bills?

Paradise_Found

My grandfather passed away recently at the ripe old age of 99,
and I am trying to assist my father (who is 75 himself) with
the money/inheritance side of things...

As I understand it, the normal sequence of events is that
the estate is valued, then all debts (in this case funeral expences,
solicitors/probate fees, care home, etc) are deducted, and any
remaining money from the estate is then divided up as instructed
in the will (e.g. 50/50, 75/25, etc)

The above seems perfectly fair and straightforward, however...

In our case, my grandfather has left his house (approx value £100k)
to my uncle and his savings (approx £25k) to my father.

Leaving aside the question of whether this is fair (see below),
I estimate that the funeral expences, solicitors fees, and outstanding
care home charges will themselves come to about £25,000,
so does that mean my Dad will end up with nothing while my
uncle walks away with the keys to a £100k house and nothing to pay?!


My parents are sick with worry, as they both dedicated much of the
past five years (foregoing holidays, etc) caring for my grandfather on
an almost daily basis, and would be devastated if my uncle (who
lives 200 miles away, but had not even visited his father once in
the past ten years) ended up with all his money... :rolleyes:

I have suggested that they should contact the solicitor ASAP and
contest the will, but they don't want to in case they appear 'greedy'


Can anyone on here help set their mind at rest - could my father
really end up with with nothing in this situation?


MARK

Mrs_Thrify

Hi Mark, the answer to your question is to put all bills in the hands of the solicitor for him to deal with = thats what you pay him to sort out. It is his job to see overyone gets paid and devide up the will.
On saying that it does not seem fair that one brother gets alot more than the other. I can only think that in days gone by the oldest son gets the estate, prehaps this is what happened?
Sending huggs

tattoed_bum

is your uncle the oldest of the children and the excecuter of the estate?

i am not quite sure of this but i someone with a more knowledge about this will come along soon and help but i think it's the excecuters responsibility to sort out the bill

as with most elderly people with their will the majority of their estate goes to the eldest son sorry . it was the proper way of doing things in their day .

in my grandfathers situation he wanted to leave everything to his grandson who did everything for him ,rather than his son who did nothing for him ,
but he couldnt bring himself to do as it wasnt the proper thing to do .

how long ago was the will made?

Barneysmom

In days gone by the estate was left to the eldest son so that he could provide for the other siblings. I hope you get sorted, it doesn't seem fair. It happened to my mom, she never got a thing, maybe the solicitor can charge fees from the house?

debs66_2

when was the will made?

i ask because it may have been done years ago when the house was not worth £100k. values have jumped enormously in just a few years, so your grandad might have been trying to leave the main wealth (cash) to the son who looked after him. he perhaps just didn't bank on the property boom.

i too think a solicitor is the way to go. good luck.

Paradise_Found

julie_d wrote: »

Hi Mark, the answer to your question is to put all bills in the hands of the solicitor for him to deal with = thats what you pay him to sort out. It is his job to see overyone gets paid and devide up the will.

That's what I have told my dad to do - send all the bills
(care home, funeral, etc) to the solicitor, but even after
googling for ages last night, I cann't find out if those bills
(approx £25k) will be paid solely out of my fathers inheritance,
or whether my uncle will have a "charge" put on the proceeds
of the sale of the house - does any know where I can find out?

On saying that it does not seem fair that one brother gets alot more than the other. I can only think that in days gone by the oldest son gets the estate, prehaps this is what happened?

After reading all the replies to this thread, I'm starting to think that's
what must have happened, although just because that's what used
to happen 50 years ago doesn't mean that it is fair/appropriate
behaviour in 2008! :rolleyes:


The most annoying aspect of all this is that my uncle doesn't seem
to feel gulity/embarrassed about any of this - if I were in his shoes,
I would be so ashamed to have been given 80% of the estate when
I had not even seen my father in ten years that I would at least offer
to redress the balance by sharing some of it with my brother.

What's even more worrying to me is that is my father had a bad
angina attack this morning (his first one since April), so this issue
is actually putting his health/life at risk!!

Because of this development, I am going to write a stongly-worded
letter to my uncle tomorrow, letting me know about my father's
deteriating health and begging him to share some of the proceeds
from the sale of the house which he hasn't done a thing to deserve...:mad:

Before I do, does anyone think this might make things worse?


If so, how else can I help my father?


MARK

Mrs_Thrify

Hi Mark, I would be carefull in writing things down as it could be thrown back at you! Do the 2 brothers not talk? To answer your question - I would get in contact with the soliciter and ask how things work.

ailuro2

Don't start writing strongly worded letters to someone who is likely to let it slide like water off of a duck's back - keep it all via the solicitor - if your father is 75, does he really care how much of a share of the money he gets?

He got to have his father until the ripe old age of 99, is he not more likely to want photo albums and maybe a watch or something to remember your grandfather by?

Paradise_Found

julie_d wrote: »

Hi Mark, I would be carefull in writing things down as it could be thrown back at you! Do the 2 brothers not talk?

No - they fell out years ago because my uncle refused to contribute
any time/money to looking after his father in his old age - OK, so he
lived 200 miles away, but he didn't even phone his father once in the
past five years!!

Hardly the responsible 'elder brother' behaviour which would make him
morally eligible to receive the house, is it?

To answer your question - I would get in contact with the soliciter and ask how things work.

I've tried that, but he won't speak to me, only my father.

catch 22: my father won't speak to the solicitor as he doesn't want
to appear 'greedy' or 'disrespectful', so I need a third option...


MARK

bandraoi

Your third option is to respect your fathers and grandfathers wishes.

To be honest, your role here is to help your father by acting on his behalf in the way that he wants you to. You can lay out options before him, but he gets to choose and he has. It's not your place to write strongly worded letters or to speak to the solicitor unless your father asks you to do so.

kr15snw

At times like these you get to see a different side of people and realise how unfair life really is.

My grandad (dads dad) re married about 25 years ago and died about 12 years ago. Everything was left to his wife, my step nan.

We loved my step nan and she treated my dad just like a son and was very loving to us (her step grandkids). Her kids were very different. One didnt speak to her from the day she married my grandad, and the other only saw her at christmas. She even tried to stop her attending her grand daughters wedding, and made sure that she very rarely saw her great grand kids.

We on the other hand went and saw her once a week and had her out for regular lunches / birthdays / christmas etc.

Near the end my mum was always the one to take her to her hospital appointments and it was my mum she rang when she thought somthing was up and asked her to come now. 15 minutes later my mum found her dead in her chair.

About 5 years ago she changed the will so that the grandkids and great grandkids would get everything with her daughter and son in law as executer. Nearer the end she started to make proceedings so that my dad would get the house (it was his childhood home, lived there since day one until he was 20 and married my mum) and the money would be split mainly to us and then to the other grand kids.

But unfortunately it never happened and she passed before the changes were made.

EVERY effort was made by the executers to complain and protest that they had nothing. The fact my dad had nothing meant diddly squit to them. The day after she died they raided her house (including the daughter who didnt speak to her) and took everything of value and binned the rest. This included photos from my dads parents wedding, and photos of him growing up. It also included a little china mouse he made when he was 7. When asked about it they said 'who would want that junk?!?!'.

A heartbraking time for my dad, as thats all his living relatives gone now. And with nothing to show of them. Not a single photo

But back to the OP you have to talk to your dad and do everything you can to convince him that he NEEDS to talk to the soliciter.