Tips, Advice, Book recommendations for 11 yr old girl

Angua2

princessjenny wrote: »

They normally get the 'talk' in year six now.My 10 year old likes to read her older sisters old jacqueline wilson books.My older daughter said she though she was too young? So I started to read one! If she didn't know anything before she certainly will after reading those books.Still quite innocent but reminds me of when I used to read the jackie etc. Sometime the preteen mags can be good for that kind of thing.

Ta, PJ - I understand from her dad that the period talk was at age 9 and that sex education starts this year for them (P7).

It's wonderful for me to have her in my life - I get to do girly things and have passed on to her some of my absolute favourite books that my own mum's been storing for me in her loft. Anyone remember/read Marguerite Henry's books? Misty of Chincoteague? or My friend Flicka? I was horse-mad at that age - lol.

Angua2

nickyhutch wrote: »

Does your stepdaughter live with you? Does she have no contact with her Mum? I really think you'd be treading on toes if she is in contact with Mum; it's not really your job.

I can see where you're coming from, I think, and perhaps I wasn't clear enough about stressing that in no way do I wish to lead here, but complement and support... I realise full well I'm not her mum or a substitute, but I am a significant adult female in her life...

It's precisely not to tread on toes and to be as discreet / subtle / sensitive / understanding as possible that I'm posting! :beer:

Angua2

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I remember judy blume being good on a fiction level with dealing with the trials and tribulations of growing up. Mind you it's a while since I was 11

See here for the books I mean http://www.judyblume.com/books/middle.php

Thanks!

Now that's a trip down memory lane - lol.... Are you there, God, It's me, Margaret....

Angua2

ailuro2 wrote: »

Just got my DD the "What's happening to me?" book about puberty for girls, she's 9 but already growing boobs so needed something to explain it all clearly, although most bits she knew already.
It covers hormones, sex, contraception, growing boobs and extra hair, dealing with spots, exercise, a bit about body image, drugs, and while it is just a little book it's a good way to invite further questions (thankfully DD giggled a bit here and there but didn't ask the dreaded 'so do you and daddy have sex then ?' question I'd been dreading.:rotfl:

Thanks for that! Ye, gods, hen - Pandora's box or what? lol

My 8-yr-old son HAS asked the dreaded question - :rotfl: :rotfl: Naturally, I told him he was ordered from Babies-R-Us as a grow-your-own kit Now WHY didn't the kit come with proper instructions??

arthur_dent_2

I know you have a girl, but i really enjoyed The secret diary of Adrian Mole.

Angua2

arthur_dent wrote: »

I know you have a girl, but i really enjoyed The secret diary of Adrian Mole.

Great! And they all - my boy (8) and b/f's girl (11, as you know! lol) and his son (7) ALL enjoy Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

Angua2

Update:

We're getting sorted! Hurrah! By the end of this week we'll have her own private (and hopefully discreet!) stash of supplies at my place & her grandmother's house for when she & her brother visit.

Thank you all very much for your insights/hints/tips, etc. :beer:

PS: I found a really helpful booklet at the GP's the other day about talking to children about sex, sexuality, puberty etc. (sorry, can't think what it's called and my b/f has it with him!)

popularfurball

Books - I second the Adrian Mole point but also the Georgia Nicholson series (Angus, thong and full frontal snogging ) - They aren't what happens books, but particularily the second really make light of growing up - boys, embaressing moments.... etc etc.

Make sure she knows where the supplies are - and that she can help herself - My mum was embaressed, although I got the "talk", but that made me embaressed, so I went and got my own and paid for everything out of pocket money as I didn't want to tell anyone!

CelticStar

One of the best books about teenage sex is Judy Blume's 'Forever'. It is quite up front about sex, but in a good way, and the whole thing is grounded in a great story about the emotions of first love. I would say that it is for the slightly older child though, I think I read it when I was about 13 so maybe you might like to think about putting it aside for when she is a little older. I would definitely recommend it though.

My view on this sort of thing is to give the child/adolescent access to information as and when they want it, they are usually a good judge of when they are ready to deal with these subjects. My own mother bought a book called 'The Woman's Experience of Sex' by Sheila Kitzinger and left in on a shelf in her bedroom when I was about 14. She told me that whenever I wanted to read it I was just to take it, which is what I did. Unlike a lot of the kids at school who knew nothing about sex or who developed a bit of an obsession about it I think I had a really healthy attitude and, far from leading me to be promiscuous, it actually worked the other way.

By the way, you sound like a lovely stepmum to have OP, well done for doing such a great job and for caring so much. :T

Angua2

CelticStar wrote: »

One of the best books about teenage sex is Judy Blume's 'Forever'. It is quite up front about sex, but in a good way, and the whole thing is grounded in a great story about the emotions of first love. I would say that it is for the slightly older child though, I think I read it when I was about 13 so maybe you might like to think about putting it aside for when she is a little older. I would definitely recommend it though.

My view on this sort of thing is to give the child/adolescent access to information as and when they want it, they are usually a good judge of when they are ready to deal with these subjects. My own mother bought a book called 'The Woman's Experience of Sex' by Sheila Kitzinger and left in on a shelf in her bedroom when I was about 14. She told me that whenever I wanted to read it I was just to take it, which is what I did. Unlike a lot of the kids at school who knew nothing about sex or who developed a bit of an obsession about it I think I had a really healthy attitude and, far from leading me to be promiscuous, it actually worked the other way.

By the way, you sound like a lovely stepmum to have OP, well done for doing such a great job and for caring so much. :T

Aw, aren't you just the sweetest!

Forever sounds like something to bear in mind for her in a couple of years - I hadn't realised just how enduring (in terms of popularity & relevance) Judy Blume's novels are!

Yep - so agree about answering questions on sex, sexuality, etc., as and when they arise, and in ways that are not only age appropriate, but also try to take into account the individual child's circumstances. My own view is that a person who is confident in him/herself as a total being is better able to make choices, keep safe and understand boundaries of all sorts - personal and public, if you see what I mean.

My hope is that we ALL benefit from increased communication, trust and confidence in one another, knowing that no topic is too embarrassing or taboo.