Tips, Advice, Book recommendations for 11 yr old girl

Angua2

Hiyas!

I'm hoping for advice and tips on how to help/support my b/f and his 11 yr old daughter as she heads into puberty.

I'd like to be able to talk to the mum (b/f's ex) - both to get a sense of how puberty was for her and how she'd like the topic dealt with, but that's awkward....

I'm really wanting to do something more than what my own mum did, bless her, who was so shy and embarrassed about the entire sex/puberty/menstruation thing, she just handed me a book...

And it's not just the starting of periods (what supplies should I have on hand?) but also about bras etc for the pre-imminent-pubescent girl...

The sweetie's emotions are all over the place, too!

And finally - which store offers the best cashback for bucketloads of patience?

Thanks!

PS: Anyone know this book: Girls Only! All About Periods and Growing-up Stuff by Victoria Parker

serena

I'd be pretty surprised if this hasn't already been covered at school. As girls are starting puberty so much earlier, the the sex education programme in primary school starts in Year Four or Five. The information that my children received was very good, and they were also given reading material.

I have to add that we'd already talked about quite a bit at home, and I did have a couple of books. I browsed in one of the large bookshops, and chose one or two that seemed interesting.

DD had the cropped bra like tops for a while - huge selection in all the shops, but we often bought from New Look - and I took her to be measured for a bra when it was obvious she needed more support.

It's a good idea to have supplies in a drawers somewhere for when she does start. Top tip from the school nurse - keep a few in a pencil case in her school bag. Curious mischievous boys will investigate a make up bag, but will ignore a pencil case! I do mean a new sparkly pencil case that is only used for that!

And to reassure you - I find the children - both boys and girls much more open about the whole topic than when I was their age.

lady_stardust

When I was about that age I read "Diary of a teenage health freak". The book is 22 years old now but I don't think it has dated really and is a great read.

sazziecee

I had one called "Girl talk" it was brilliant, stuff on periods, sex, relationships with parents and friends etc.
Had quizzes in it and stuff. I found it the other day and still find it interesting and useful and I am 28 now with 2 kids

Can't remember who it was by now though

gairlochgal

My 10 yr old has the book you refer to and it's great. Has provoked some good conversations. It seems to have helped her understand the changing behaviour in her peer group at school.

Not easy though. We've had a couple of "everything in my life is going wrong" incidents that seem pre-menstrual to me and are quite hard to deal with at the time. She had a young male teacher last year and he wasn't good at handling it - luckily very nice older woman t/a and I felt ok about talking to her about it so she could look out for my daughter on the ropy days.

princessjenny

They normally get the 'talk' in year six now.My 10 year old likes to read her older sisters old jacqueline wilson books.My older daughter said she though she was too young? So I started to read one! If she didn't know anything before she certainly will after reading those books.Still quite innocent but reminds me of when I used to read the jackie etc. Sometime the preteen mags can be good for that kind of thing.

nickyhutch

Does your stepdaughter live with you? Does she have no contact with her Mum? I really think you'd be treading on toes if she is in contact with Mum; it's not really your job.

belfastgirl23

I remember judy blume being good on a fiction level with dealing with the trials and tribulations of growing up. Mind you it's a while since I was 11

See here for the books I mean http://www.judyblume.com/books/middle.php

lostinrates

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I remember judy blume being good on a fiction level with dealing with the trials and tribulations of growing up. Mind you it's a while since I was 11

See here for the books I mean http://www.judyblume.com/books/middle.php

That's exactly what I was going to suggest. Dealing with the mechanics is vital, but so is dealing with the emotions and normality of growing up and puberty etc. Judy Blume is very good at this, her frank but not over detailed or over adult.

ailuro2

Just got my DD the "What's happening to me?" book about puberty for girls, she's 9 but already growing boobs so needed something to explain it all clearly, although most bits she knew already.
It covers hormones, sex, contraception, growing boobs and extra hair, dealing with spots, exercise, a bit about body image, drugs, and while it is just a little book it's a good way to invite further questions (thankfully DD giggled a bit here and there but didn't ask the dreaded 'so do you and daddy have sex then ?' question I'd been dreading.:rotfl:

Angua2

serena wrote: »

I'd be pretty surprised if this hasn't already been covered at school. As girls are starting puberty so much earlier, the the sex education programme in primary school starts in Year Four or Five. The information that my children received was very good, and they were also given reading material.

I have to add that we'd already talked about quite a bit at home, and I did have a couple of books. I browsed in one of the large bookshops, and chose one or two that seemed interesting.

DD had the cropped bra like tops for a while - huge selection in all the shops, but we often bought from New Look - and I took her to be measured for a bra when it was obvious she needed more support.

It's a good idea to have supplies in a drawers somewhere for when she does start. Top tip from the school nurse - keep a few in a pencil case in her school bag. Curious mischievous boys will investigate a make up bag, but will ignore a pencil case! I do mean a new sparkly pencil case that is only used for that!

And to reassure you - I find the children - both boys and girls much more open about the whole topic than when I was their age.

Great stuff and many thanks!

Yes, she's had the girls becoming women talk at primary and a birds & bees talk with her mum... My hope is to support/complement these. Also, I wasn't privy to either talk.... I'm more in the role of step mum, pal, and confidante.

The pencil case tip is brill - I'm off to look for pink sparkly one.

Thanks again!