my partners grumpy xmas attitude!

Mumstheword

Check out your local college for a teaching course and, if you can afford it, send him on it. If he is bored with his current role in life, and too far down that line to do anything about it himself, you might have to do something for him. The reason I suggest teaching is that
1- you say he's intelligent, so he could handle the coursework
2-he already has his trade background and so has the knowledge he needs
3-teaching (tertiary) joinery would give him more to think about than the hands on job he's currently doing, and he'll be able to get involved in all aspects, eg designing the course structure, each lesson, dealing with the adult learners and young adults straight from school.
4-he can do the training courses at night school

just a thought...

jellyhead

hi peakma, i don't have much advice, just a hug *HUG

it does sound as if he's depressed but he's got to change that for himself, if he thinks he took the wrong paths in life then perhaps he could go back to college/uni if the family could afford it. what about open university or night school? take care of yourself - your life isn't a bundle of laughs either at the moment and your feelings are equally as important as his. looking at the situation between my mother and father while they were together one thing i would advise would be to stop having children - don't have any more while you are this unhappy together.

i was in a very tense situation after my son was born and i didn't leave my boyfriend until my boy was two and a half. it sounds strange but within a week of him leaving my boy learned how to talk and started to sleep at night. he changed completely from a toddler with moderate/severe developmental delay to one that was catching up. the psychologist we saw (behaviour psychologist, my boy was a very violent toddler) said he thought that the bad atmosphere between the two of us was doing more harm to the child than we realised. i never regretted splitting up, i had to though because there was violence. like you say a lot of people split up very easily without trying hard enough to put things right. i hope you can find a way forward :-)

shaz