Depression Support Thread

Amber_Sunshine

Tiff wrote: »

How could you? Poor Isis!

She's a girl, she won't miss the inside bits ...

Amber_Sunshine

Diamond, hugs to you too, sounds like everything's getting on top of you, I hope it passes soon

geminilady

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,
Im sorry I havent been around. I have been really low last few weeks, well ever since I got back from hols. I had been on a high ,hard to explain really. Ive been acting like everything is ok and Im coping and feel like now Ive come crashing down again. I hate feeling like this as I end up neglecting myself. I havent been on here for the simple fact that I feel that low and I have nothing happy or positive to say. I dont want to bring ppl on a downer so its better I stay away. Ive only read last 2 pages so havent got a clue how everyone has been. I think of you all everyday and hope that everyone is doing ok. But Im just in that mood where I cant even be bothered to do anything.
Im so exhausted. I have so much going and cant think straight and properly.I dont understand life! How can one person go through so much and still suffer with little or no luck?Why does life keep throwing stuff in our face and bring us to this point? I cant make sense of it all. It feels like a never ending battle. I always have this hope that oneday, life will get easier and I will overcome this deppression. But no, something always has to happen.I feel so stressed and under pressure. Im not sleeping or eating well either. I have been to see my gp and told him all that is going on. He has pushed for an urgent app for me for counselling. I have got so many different app's too which I cant keep up with.
My anxiety has also got worse. I feel really scared and dont want to go anywhere. I feel like packing everything and going somewhere far and completly different, away from all the bad memories and people. But I cant do that as we have no where to go. DS is doing ok, Im worried he is being bullied and have spoken to his teacher about it. He has been frustrated recently and lashing out on me. He is so good 99%. Is it normal for a 6 year old to lash out at his mum? I really told him off for it and felt so bad and guilty afterwards.I dont like and am not use to seeing ds like that. It scares me him growing up. I dont send him to school to get hurt, I worry about him so much and feel so lost without him which is another reason Im on a low. I only feel at ease with myself when he is home. I am taking him to a football game next week but i feel so anxious an panicky. My panic attacks have got worse, Im so scared that sperm donor will turn up as last year when I took ds, my ex turned up at the game and he doesnt even support that team. How will I keep calm and act normally. Public transport terriefies me. So does being out in public. I cant cope with suitations like that. Last year when we went, I had so many panic attacks, I thought I was dying. You must think why am I going then if thats what happens, but am doing it for ds as I know I cant take him again as I wont be able to afford it. It would mean the world to ds.
I have also had this huge worry hang over me. Since last year my smears(sorry guys) have been coming back abnormal. Before I went away I had a smear test again and when I got back the letter I was dreading was there. Its abnormal again which means I have to go for further tests. I have tried to put it in the back of my mind but ut was pretty hard after it was everywhere that jade goody had cancer.Maybe its my paranoia but I started thinking of the worse then quickly putting it out of my mind. All these weeks I have known I have thought about it everyday.. My app is next week. I really dont like the thought of the colposcopy. I dont have anyone to come with me. Im due on too so If im on the examination day, I will have to change my app which means more waiting. I feel all these years of smoking, being uncareful and irresponsible, I am now suffering the consequences. I really want to give up smoking as I want to live long and see ds grow up but with deppression, it adds on to your help and deppression.Im dreading counselling now, before I couldnt wait, now I dont feel like I want to talk about things.
Im sorry about the long deppressing post. I just wanted you all to know and understand what Im going through and im kind of strugglying at the moment. Im going to try really hard to do something about these problems, I dont know how Im going to do it but I know I have to do something as I will just get worse. I dot like winter anymore. I wish it was summer with lots of warm weather and sunshine. Winters it gets cold, dark quickly, more crime, xmas, lots of expenses, shopping for xmas, rude and ignorant ppl,arrgghh the list can go on forever.....
Anyway, Im waiting for ds's bed to be delivered. He wont sleep in it. he is to scared still to sleep alone after everything he has been through. But I am going to try even if it means me sleeping in his room for a while.
Hope everyone is doing well, those that are not, keep fighting.Hugs
xx

Hi Diamond,Just a quick line because i have to go to work in a few minutes.It is great to see you posting but sorry you are feeling so bad ((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) never be scared of posting that is what this forum is for and if everyone was upbeat and positive there would be no need for it lol.You know you are among people who understand on here.Two quick points,if your period is due at the same time as your appointment go see you gp as he can give you something to delay it and would be better than having to make a new apointment.Also i would still go to the councelling even though you do not feel like talking at the moment firstly you may feel differant on the day and secondly councellers are trained in getting people to open up and talk about things.I understand about the smoking as i am a smoker myself and know how hard it is to quit,trying when you are feeling so bad would be nearly impossible but when you have had your results and councelling you might start to feel more positive and could try again, as you know there is lots of help out there its just finding the right method that works for us.

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote: »

I've just gone back a bit through this thread and the old one and am I reading right - Saz and Gillette - together?

:j

Let me know when I need a new tie and my evening dancing shoes :rotfl:

If there's hope for an old bag like me to be happy - and a midget old bag at that! - then you'll have no trouble Miro hun xx :A Lovely to see you posting, I do often wonder how you're doing. I'll let you know about the dancing shoes;) but what with you and Gilly badger being so lanky, I'll have to buy some stilts:D

Big hugs and much love to everyone here :grouphug:

Sazzy xxxxxxxxxxxxx

BizzyBek

Tiff wrote: »

Hi bizzy!:hello:

Lovely to hear from you again angel - welcome back!

That's great news about your mum, hunnie! I'm sorry to hear about your relative, bizzy. I'm glad things are going well for you and I think it's great that things have picked up so much for you.

I know we all support each other through really difficult situations here but sometimes, there are peeps who stop posting when things improve for them because they don't want to bring anyone down. But it's just as helpful that they do post when times are good, to let us know that things do change for the good and to give us that extra little bit of hope and determination.

I hope things continue to improve for you hun. Love and light happily received bizzy and returned to you with hugs.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Aw thanks Tiff for the lovely reply. I admit I was a bit unsure about posting that I've been so much better - you never want to make other people feel worse.

But if anything it does go to show that people do and can get better from depressio & anxiety etc. I've gone from some who couldn't touch the back door in my early 20s due to panic attacks to someone with a successful career who gets out and about. The important thing to remember is getting better isn't linear - its one hell of a rollercoaster!

hugs to all

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I had a good day today,I went for a drive with my parents and then went to a nice restaurant for a strawberry Milkshake and it was huge,I managed to drink it all then we looked around a shop,then I went to my parents for lunch and I ate Scampi,chips,peas and it was nice,I didnt have a pudding as I had things to eat at home,so went back and ate it,then I went shopping for milk and bread

I will chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

KentishLady

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hi Everyone,
Im sorry I havent been around. I have been really low last few weeks, well ever since I got back from hols. I had been on a high ,hard to explain really. Ive been acting like everything is ok and Im coping and feel like now Ive come crashing down again. I hate feeling like this as I end up neglecting myself. I havent been on here for the simple fact that I feel that low and I have nothing happy or positive to say. I dont want to bring ppl on a downer so its better I stay away. Ive only read last 2 pages so havent got a clue how everyone has been. I think of you all everyday and hope that everyone is doing ok. But Im just in that mood where I cant even be bothered to do anything.
Im so exhausted. I have so much going and cant think straight and properly.I dont understand life! How can one person go through so much and still suffer with little or no luck?Why does life keep throwing stuff in our face and bring us to this point? I cant make sense of it all. It feels like a never ending battle. I always have this hope that oneday, life will get easier and I will overcome this deppression. But no, something always has to happen.I feel so stressed and under pressure. Im not sleeping or eating well either. I have been to see my gp and told him all that is going on. He has pushed for an urgent app for me for counselling. I have got so many different app's too which I cant keep up with.
My anxiety has also got worse. I feel really scared and dont want to go anywhere. I feel like packing everything and going somewhere far and completly different, away from all the bad memories and people. But I cant do that as we have no where to go. DS is doing ok, Im worried he is being bullied and have spoken to his teacher about it. He has been frustrated recently and lashing out on me. He is so good 99%. Is it normal for a 6 year old to lash out at his mum? I really told him off for it and felt so bad and guilty afterwards.I dont like and am not use to seeing ds like that. It scares me him growing up. I dont send him to school to get hurt, I worry about him so much and feel so lost without him which is another reason Im on a low. I only feel at ease with myself when he is home. I am taking him to a football game next week but i feel so anxious an panicky. My panic attacks have got worse, Im so scared that sperm donor will turn up as last year when I took ds, my ex turned up at the game and he doesnt even support that team. How will I keep calm and act normally. Public transport terriefies me. So does being out in public. I cant cope with suitations like that. Last year when we went, I had so many panic attacks, I thought I was dying. You must think why am I going then if thats what happens, but am doing it for ds as I know I cant take him again as I wont be able to afford it. It would mean the world to ds.
I have also had this huge worry hang over me. Since last year my smears(sorry guys) have been coming back abnormal. Before I went away I had a smear test again and when I got back the letter I was dreading was there. Its abnormal again which means I have to go for further tests. I have tried to put it in the back of my mind but ut was pretty hard after it was everywhere that jade goody had cancer.Maybe its my paranoia but I started thinking of the worse then quickly putting it out of my mind. All these weeks I have known I have thought about it everyday.. My app is next week. I really dont like the thought of the colposcopy. I dont have anyone to come with me. Im due on too so If im on the examination day, I will have to change my app which means more waiting. I feel all these years of smoking, being uncareful and irresponsible, I am now suffering the consequences. I really want to give up smoking as I want to live long and see ds grow up but with deppression, it adds on to your help and deppression.Im dreading counselling now, before I couldnt wait, now I dont feel like I want to talk about things.
Im sorry about the long deppressing post. I just wanted you all to know and understand what Im going through and im kind of strugglying at the moment. Im going to try really hard to do something about these problems, I dont know how Im going to do it but I know I have to do something as I will just get worse. I dot like winter anymore. I wish it was summer with lots of warm weather and sunshine. Winters it gets cold, dark quickly, more crime, xmas, lots of expenses, shopping for xmas, rude and ignorant ppl,arrgghh the list can go on forever.....
Anyway, Im waiting for ds's bed to be delivered. He wont sleep in it. he is to scared still to sleep alone after everything he has been through. But I am going to try even if it means me sleeping in his room for a while.
Hope everyone is doing well, those that are not, keep fighting.Hugs
xx

Hey diamond

So sorry you have been having a rough time of it. Please try not to worry too much about the test results (easier said than done I know).

If I could lend you a cat for a cuddle then I would (they always make me feel better when they are curled up in my arms all snuggly and purring).

Anyways just wanted you to know will be thinking of you in the next few weeks.

KL.

KentishLady

As you all know I am back at work.

Got some news today that they are creating a new team of people to do data analysis and I have been put forward to join the team. Which means no dealing direct with customers!!!!! Thank goodness!

This is the job role I always wanted and I am so pleased (and lucky) I returned to work when I did. Just one week later and I'd have missed the boat.

Maybe my luck is finally changing. Lets hope it stays that way at least for this winter eh?

KL.

shazrobo

morning all, hope everyone is ok this morn.
kl, congratulations on getting the job that you always wanted, thats fantastic
bizzybek, lovely to hear from you again hun, especially as its such positive news, glad your mum's getting better
miro, hope the cold is gettign better ((hugs))
tiff, how are you today?
katie, what exciting plans have you got for today?
diamond, ((hugs)) sorry to hear you finding things so tough right now, hope things improve real soon
gemini, how are you doing?
sazzy, good to hear you are happy hun, you deserve it
welcome to whysohard, sorry to hear your gp is less than sympathetic, is there another gp at the practise that you could see?
qb, ((hugs)), i know you feel down, and miss posting on here
sorry to any one that i've missed out
big hugs all
shaz xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today,watched Jeremy Kyle this morning and at the end of the show he didnt wink.I am off to my parents today for lunch and then I am going to relax I went to the post office and to whsmith to get my Sun Newspaper and another Jamie Oliver dvd Just need the other 2 then I have all the 6 dvds in total

It is my sisters birthday today so going to try and phone her tonight before shes out with friends for a nice meal.I have got Roast Chicken pie today with potatoe slices or wedges and some green runner beans and bananas and custard.


Have a lovely day!


love and light,

Katie xxx