4 days to go wedding rant!

mookiandco

Thanks for all your advice.

I rang the two people who said there had been a death to give my condolences. One didnt much like being put on the spot and admitted that it is was just a acquaintance of partner but she couldnt make it for another reason and just felt she should give a better excuse. I told her that I would have just appreciated more notice and she should have just been honest with me. The other person said the family cat had been run over and she didnt feel up to celebrating.

I have every sympathy for those who lose loved ones. My grandfather died 2 weeks ago and I almost called off the wedding but felt I would be letting alot of people down if I had. It will leave a huge gaping hole on the day without him there but I know he would have wanted me to carry on with the wedding.

I perhaaps didnt explain better in the first post that the people who had given the excuses are always letting people down and it was because I know what they are like that their excuses didnt ring true. If someone truly had lost someone, I know that would take priority and I wwould never begrudge them that.

I have managed to get a few people to take their places who were all delighted to be asked. The table plan has been completed now so if anyone else drops out I will just take it on the chin!

december

I'm glad to hear you found suitable replacements and hope that you have a lovely day

December

Speckled_Egg

The family cat?!

Long term, I would seriously question how important this person is to you and whether they really deserve to be your friend.

I'm sure the other people you've invited will be delighted to attend.

Hope you have a really wonderful day.

x

Margaret54

Hi Hope you have a lovely wedding day. Five years ago, my Husband and I had very sad news that his sister had died and she was buried on what was to be our wedding day. She was young too, and it was very sad. I also found out how good a friend I had in a person who I had thought of as a friend, who lives nearby us. i went over to her house to explain that the girl had sadly passed away, and when we had sent the person the wedding invite she had said "oh that's my birthday that day." Well I had already bought the "friend" a lovely b/day card and gift and we were travelling down to see the rest of my partner's family and this was on the same day we had heard of the death. I popped over to give the friend the card gift and explained the wedding would not now take place and she said to me"imagine somebody dying when you are getting married???????????She seemed dry with me, and I was really taken aback. My partner was waiting to drive us down to the family so I said I would have to go now, and have a nice b/day. The family all said to us to try to get the wedding on again as soon as possible as they were sure the sister would not have wanted us to leave it too long and it would give them all a lift as they were so happy for us both . The woman at the Civic Centre was lovely and she had a slot in a few weeks time as there was a cancellation and although we were very sad we decided to take the slot, and we managed to change the arrangements for the new date. There were only about 40 quests coming as we had both been married before and are older. I got the shock of my life when this friend knocked the door the morning after the funeral, and bounced in all smiles looking to borrow our lawnmower, and my partner just looked at her. She did not even say how sorry she was to him about losing his sister, and laughed and said oh iamagine dying when you about to have a wedding(same as before, and he was sitting there bless him very sad and upset. She did not even send a sympathy card over to him, and she knew him for a few years . I was in my dressing gown and my son went in and brought out the lawn mower and she left. I was so angry with her at her behaviour that I pass myself if I see her, but I would never ever call her a friend. Her manners were appalling and it is true what another person has said on here you certainly sort out the dead wood, at times like this. We went on to have a wonderful wedding day and we remembered his sister on the day, especially as she had been so looking forward to us getting married, and the "friend "was there on sufference as I could not take back the invite but bit my tongue and smiled and passed myself on the day to speak to her, as if nothing was wrong, but oh boy it taught me about people. There are lovely people out there and also not so lovely, this is the way of the world. I hope you will both be very happy as we are.xx

LilDevil

Speckled_Egg wrote: »

The family cat?!

Long term, I would seriously question how important this person is to you and whether they really deserve to be your friend.

I'm sure the other people you've invited will be delighted to attend.

Hope you have a really wonderful day.

x

Pets are part of the family, I would be totally devastated if anything happened to my (current) two cats and certainly would not want to go to any sort of celebration.

I've had two cats that died and it took me weeks to get over it and had frequent bursts of near hysterical crying.

Anyone that knows me would understand this.

I am disgusted that you would think someone does not deserve to be a friend for being so deeply affected by the loss of their pet.

Speckled_Egg

I didn't mean to cause offence. You make me sound like a right heartless cow. I was just surprised, that's all. I've always had a cat and loved it to bits but I'm not sure it would stop me from going to a friend's wedding.

I get married in six weeks. In mid July my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He hasn't been out of the house for four weeks. Two weeks ago my Nan had a massive stroke. I only have twelve people in my family as it is. How am I going to get on? I just don't know, really. I love my Dad desperately but I don't even know if he'll be here or if he'll walk me down the aisle at the moment. All I know is I will do the best that I can under the circumstances.

I just wish all I had to deal with was a cat dying!

Luvmyfreebies

OMG weddings - why is it they always seem to bring out the worst in people?? BUT they can also bring out the best!!

I've been married for 16 years now but I still remember the hurt caused by my so-called BFF who pulled out at the last minute because I couldn't make room for her latest squeeze who I'd never even heard of before let alone met.

We only had a small "do" (registry office, 35 people) but bigger more relaxed & informal party for 100+ in the evening. My best friend from school days was a single mum living quite a long way away and had told me that she was arranging to have her DS stay with her parents while she came away for the weekend to go to my wedding & meet up with all our old school friends & party. With one week to go she wrote to me telling all about her latest BF (in a long line of them) then literally demanding not only a place for her PLUS her DS BUT also her new partner PLUS his THREE CHILDREN!! I wrote back and explained (not for the first time) that day was already full mostly with immediate family but that they were all welcome to come to the evening. The day before the Big Day I got another letter telling me that since I "couldn't accept the love of her life into my life then she chooses not to come". She then went on to tell me how she always thought I was selfish and that she never wanted any further contact with me. And that after I'd supported her through preganncy, divorce, house moves, career changes (she never learned to drive by why would she when she always had me to drive her everywhere?), always sending presents to her DS etc etc. I have not had any contact from her since.

Looking back now I remember being upset but also somewhat relieved. I don't remember how I dealt with it, I must have been too caught up in the excitement of my day and so looking forward to being married to my man (here we are still togther 16 years later). On reflection she was a liability and I am well rid of her.

I love weddings and always look forward to them no matter who it is or what part of the day I am invited to. And, they seem to bring out extremes in people for good or bad ("better or worse"!!!).

To all new brides out there is MSE land I wish you all the happiness in the world!! :beer:

hot.chick

Well my blessing was on sunday, and althogh I got a few texts on the day saying people couldn't come this I didn't mind...

What I have taken exception to though is about 25 people who were dead certs for the day just not turning up!!!

Some of which I work with - whom today haven't even asked how the day went let alone given reasons for thier absence!!!!!

There was soo much food left over DH will be eating buffet for WEEKS!!!!!

Speckled_Egg

Some people are very naughty. I always try to treat people how I would like to be treated myself. Unfortunately, some people just don't care and there's nothing you can do about that except give them a wide berth in the future.

I hope it didn't spoil your day too much then again you probably didn't even notice you were having such a fantastic time!

:beer:

Stephb1986_2

Thats just out of order not even turning up when they said they would!

I wouldn't even bother talking to them its just bad manners.

Throw some food my way i dont mind

Steph xx