4 days to go wedding rant!

Horace

I agree with Honeypop.

You need to have some compassion especially with people who have had a bereavement in the family. I think you should be thankful that they have contacted you at all even it is by text.

I suggest that you contact the venue/caterer to say that you will be 4 short. You don't normally confirm exact numbers anyway until a week before. Your caterers may well then refund 4 lots of meals and therefore you will have saved money.

You need to remember that although this is your special day, people have lives and if something crops up be it a death or a medical appointment then they are justified in cancelling their attendance - what kind of friend would you be if you weren't sympathetic to their needs too? I know from reading your post that I wouldn't want a friend like you if you take that attitude.

6angels

Im free Saturday too!! lol - what area are you in??

Krystaltips

We have a very small (compared to some) meal, only 31 adults and 5 children and one of the adults has an eating disorder so we've not ordered a meal for them (at their request) but I can guarantee all but 2 of them will attend, the other 2 are a bit iffy (if you've read previous posts about my MIL...) but we also have 2 cousins travelling a long way who are primed for taking the places if they become available.... They're completely ok with this and plan to just eat in the hotel restaurant otherwise....

We had to keep it small because of budget problems (MIL again) but I'm quite glad because I know there will not be anyone letting me down by text at the last minute...

tehone

Don't worry about it too much and don't let it spoil your day.

As others have said other people won't mind being 'upgraded'

What I am impressed about in your guests cancelations is the amount of people who've managed to get urgent medical appointments on a Saturday!! I always thought medical appointments were strictly M-F 9-5.30

bride_on_a_budget

well,
our bestman emailed us 1 week before the wedding to say that his work wont let hime have the week off(he lives in leeds, we are in devon).
and 5 evening guests and 2 day guests also cancelled the week of the wedding.

i got a bit upset at the thought of the money we had already paid (£285 for 7 people), but then i thought stuff them, its my day and they will not ruin it for me.

so i would say chin up and have a great day

bride on a budget

hot.chick

I've had loads of people pull out (hubby was worried that it'd upset me) but it's a bufett - so more for my friend who are there!

I think lots of people would be over the moon to be invited even if it's last minute.

Hope you fill the spaces!

x

honeypop

tehone wrote: »

What I am impressed about in your guests cancelations is the amount of people who've managed to get urgent medical appointments on a Saturday!! I always thought medical appointments were strictly M-F 9-5.30

Not so, not where I live anyway, I've often had a Saturday appointment at the hospital for procedures or assessments. They also do evening appointments too. The last appointment I had for a Saturday was for a scan which I had been waiting months and months for, this could be the time they find out whats causing my endless pain, I wouldn't have missed that for anyones wedding, nor would a family member or proper friend have expected me to.

floss2

tehone wrote: »

.....What I am impressed about in your guests cancelations is the amount of people who've managed to get urgent medical appointments on a Saturday!! I always thought medical appointments were strictly M-F 9-5.30

They may have been given a date on either Thursday or Friday and not be fit to travel...operation / procedure.... as an example - my ex-husband couldn't attend my mum's funeral on a Monday because he'd had a procedure on the Friday that wouldn't allow him to sit down in a car for a 30 mile-each-way journey + a funeral service without his rubber ring.....he'd had his piles done but he'd told us why he wasn't able to come & I knew he'd been waiting for his appoointment so no offence was taken.

Timmne

Someone came to me yesterday (we get married on Sunday) to say "sorry mate, we can't make it" (bearing in mind his invite wasn't a 'we' one anyway) - it's only an evening invitation and quite honestly I couldn't give a shiney sh!te who accepts or declines at this point.

I did feel like explaining basic manners to him and that saying "I've just found your invite in the bottom of my drawer so sorry for not replying sooner" is not in the slightest bit polite and I'd have rathered he didn't say anything to me!


Oh and OP - if that were me I'd spend a few quid on a couple of 'with sympathy' cards and send them to the non-guests, just in case they are being truthful. If they were lying, they should feel a little bit guilty receiving a card from the bride & groom when they dropped out at the last minute.

Leopardlady

I had a few people pull out at the last minute. One was so worried about telling me because she thought i would hit her?????

I realised very early on in the planning that this was one day, and although extremely important for me, other people do have their own lives and our wedding may not fit in with their lives. I love my friends and family and not all of them were able to come to our wedding. Some were disappointed but others don't seem to have noticed either way.

I had the most fabulous day ever, and i loved seeing all our guests and i have enjoyed spending time with some of those who couldn't make it and showing them photos and reliving the day all over again! (Hoping not to bore them!)

All the options given above are very good ideas, but please try and remember that your friends can not stop their whole lives for your wedding day. I am sure they would all be there if they could be.