tonights the night

SerenaGoode

Riquelme,

Well done for taking that difficult step. You're only at the start of a long difficult road, but you have a chance to make things right.

I'm hoping that things will slowly improve from this low point, just wanted to give you some support.

poptart1_2

You have done so well, the tears are all part of it, You have made giant strides already by admitting the problem existed and telling your wife, its all part of the acceptance of the situation. Pick yourself up, pat yourself on the back. This is the beginning of a new life for you and your family. The journey is just starting on a new road to a BETTER life. Well done you!:T

Willsnarf1983

don't u hate it when you write something and then it disappears

quick version is

1) hurting ur wife and the money are symptoms, what are you doing regarding the problem gambling? If you ave been to GA before then go again even if u didn't think it was for you...it may be now and if one meeting isn't your cup of tea at least try another one

2) the house, if u sign it over and she leaves a week later ur up the proverbial creek, why not make it alot harder for you to get to the money...ie two signatures on evey decision and maybe something like u can't make any decisions without actually being at the bank...not sure if that one is possible but look into stuff.

glad u've been honest and good luck

Will

Buffythedebtslayer

Phew, at least you are still there! not sure about the name not being on your house tho, seems a little unfair but hey you know your wife.

Hope this evening is going well
xx

Jacks_xxx

:A :A :A I'm really glad you've done that honey. You should feel proud about doing it even though things are probably a bit tense right now. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Your wife just needs to work through her feelings - and all you can do at this stage is let her.

How long that takes and what they are will be are individual to her. We're all different. I'm about to tell you about my reaction - not to make you feel bad, but hopefully so you can empathise with your wife a bit which will help her.

Hopefully it might even make you feel better if you understand a bit about what she might be going through but know that it's perfectly possible to come out the other end OK.

When my husband told me "there might be a problem" first of all I was in shock cos I'd thought we were doing pretty Ok.

In actual fact we owed a huge amount of money and we couldn't afford to do the structural work our home needed because we couldn't get any more "normal"credit.

Then I was frightened about what this would mean for us? Would we lose the house? Would bailiffs be round threatening me? How bad was it going to get? What was it going to do to our kids? How worried would our elderly parents have to be about all this? Oh God! Would I have to move in with Mother In Law?!

Then the insecurity kicked in and I cried and cried and cried.

I was worried about losing the house and "our life" but also - what did this say about our relationship that my hubby couldn't tell me about a big problem like this??? How long had he been deceiving me about it??? And what else was he lying to me about???? Was our marriage effectively over as well?

Then I was angry with him and said plenty of horrible things but then I started to be angry with myself. This was my life too. I should have been more involved.

Then I wanted information. Every bit of financial paperwork we had was turfed out, and I slowly pieced together that in fact things were quite a lot worse than he'd said. I felt numb and just kept saying Oh. My. God.

But anyway enough misery!

On Sunday it's the 2 year anniversary of the Oh. My. God. day and it's beginng to look as if we may actually manage to be debt free by this Christmas. (or if not, very soon afterwards!) and working on our debts together has been fab for our relationship. It's even been good for our kids.

It's rough now sweetie, but hopefully things will look brighter soon.

Having the CCCS onside is a big plus.

Thinking of you both,

Love Jacks xxx

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Just wonderng how you're getting on hon? xxx