tonights the night

riquelme

that ive been dreading, its not the ideal time but when is.

coming clean about my gambling debts tonight to my wife. we had this problem 5 years ago but we all thought i beat it.

im telling her tonight because i need to get my name off our joint account just in case tesco finance begin taking money from our joint account

its going to be terrifying for and dscary for her as her 1st reactio will be anger beyond belief then she will start worrying about how it wil affect the family. i think ive begun to deal with somethings and my gambling problem and need to put her mind at rest about our joint account and house and explain from what i understand a DMP is and how CCCS are helping me.

i fear i could be looking for alternative accommodation come 11pm tonight.

kate705

You are doing the right thing....she would rather know the truth. I really hope it goes ok for you. (((((((hugs to you))))))).

kate x

NickWarren_2

You'll feel like a weight has been lifted off of your mind when you do it, as i bet a lot of the worry that you are having is not only the debts it is about telling your wife. Getting your name off the joint account is a good idea too. Hopefully she will understand and atleast you can see you are dealing with it. its better she knows now than finding out you have been keeping it from her.

Good Luck!

riquelme

you're right about being honest. if anything i want to reassure her that this will only affect me (although it will affect the family when it comes to getting a mortagage) and that im doing things about it

im terrified, i honestly fear the worst,

thanks for your words xx

rayday2

Good luck I hope it goes well, remember initial reactions are just that.

I am glad you are getting support from the CCCS.

GeorgeUK

Good luck with this Riq.

Hope it isn't too much for her to take. Glad you're telling her and quite quickly too - she deserves that at the very least. There are a few folks on the board who have been on the receiving end so they may be able to help her through some of it (tell her where to bury the body etc).

We'll still be here for you, or both of you, when the dust has settled.

Tinkabell25

Hi, Just wanted to say that if it was my OH i would be angry, but would want to support him all the way once i calmed down, thats what marriage/relationships are about. She may throw you out at first or say unpleasant things, but just habg in there, time is a healer. A problem shared is a problem halved, i really believe that. Let us all know how things go tomorrow, my fingers are crossed for you. Take care, Tink xx

churchrat

good luck with this, I'm sure that you're doing the right thing. will be thinking of you both tonight, let us know how it goes.
cr

WhoopieDoodle

Riq, I had no idea about my hubby's debts and when he finally told me I was extremely angry, hurt, confused and just about every emotion going! I was ready to leave him, or chuck him out, or throttle him!

BUT after I had calmed down and dealt with the initial shock of it, I realised that I was as much to blame for the situation. After all, I had benefited from the money spent and I was an idiot by not getting involved with his finances (we had separate bank accounts at that time).

So, the two of us decided to tackle the debt together and although things were hard at first (it took me a while to trust him again, and this is the biggie, the trust issue more than the debt itself because I felt he should have talked to me sooner and not keep it to himself which was a nightmare and huge strain for him) we are back on track and our relationship is stronger than ever.

I now deal with the DMP myself and we support each other through it all.

So, be prepared for a massive firework display when you first tell her, but be patient and eventually she will settle down and you can work this out together.

Good luck

GardenLover

Hello riquelme. I just wanted to congratulate you on your tremendous honesty and wish you all the very best. Keep well X

Piquant_2

I am sure you are doing the right thing and you're certainly very brave. Good luck, will be thinking of you.