tonights the night

LilacPixie

Riq - well done for telling her. I think her reaction has actually been a positive one. She reacted by wanting to protect your kids and home and is therefor trying to keep some stability in the family unit. She didn't have a knee jerk reaction to kick you out which is also very positive.

There is no doubt about it you have been stupid but you are not the only person to ever make a few mistakes and your mistakes are fixable. The will be fixed faster tho if your wife takes an active roll in helping repay the debts, perhapes by taking control of your new basic account and only allowing you a small cash allowance for 'essentials'. This would allow her to rebuild and develop the trust between yoat her own pace.

big hugs

LP

GeorgeUK

Riquelme

Glad you managed to talk to her - hope it works out ok.

It might be worth starting a new thread asking about the mortgage situation - both here and on the mortgage board. Will she be better off having the house soley in her name? Is her salary enough for any remortgage that is coming up - or would your credit record make the situation worse if it was linked to hers?

Just wondering right now, but my gut reaction is it would probably be better if she had the house in her sole name.

Try to work out your SOA and if you want we'll try to make comment on it.

Tinkabell25

Same here!!! Hugs all round! Well doen on taking one of the first (and most terrifying!) steps. Keep us posted, we all here to support you. xx

Piquant_2

You must be feeling very bad at the moment, but you have done the right thing, hopefully when things calm down your wife will pull with you through these rough times,

I think GeorgeUK has given you some sound advice and is worth considering.

You've started on a rocky road, but I'm sure you can make it.

mummum2

Glad it's out in the open, you can only look forward now. Hoping after the initial shock your wife will come on board with you. Hugs and best wishes.

MM2

LouiseJ

Sending you and your family the best of wishes for your future.

As you know Gambling is so distructive and I really hope you can beat that demon as it has broken up a family very close to me recently. He had not and could not get the better of it and unfortunately after years of trying his wife had to end it as he was going to extreme measures to get his hands on money to feed his addiction.

Please treat yourself kindly as this time and accept that you are only human but unless you can kick the gambling addiction once and for all I am afraid the future may be not so good.

You have shown courage in facing this, you just need to stay strong for your family now.

Take care xxx

milliemonster

Riq I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug, I think the biggest thing you need to work on more than the debt is regaining your wifes trust, if you've been hiding this from her for so long she will feel completely and hopelessly lost that she can't trust you anymore, you MUST be open with her from now on and tell her everything, get help for your gambling and the debt, but most of all you have to keep her informed all the way through the process, even if you think she doesn't want to know, keep telling her, so she knows you aren't hiding anything anymore

I wish you all the best x

tudorfan22

Riq - any new news today? how i she? hope you guys can work it out - thinking of you

Riq

Everyday I search to see if anyone was saying anything about me (riq) and I come across this and start to be a bit puzzled with people saying I have a wife, some debts and talking to said wife about said debts! (I read threads bottom up you see)

I do wish the OP the best of luck with everything.

Cool name as well, hopefully you're a fan of the Argentinian Maestro like myself.

riquelme

thnaks everyone,
ive just broken down in tears in work. luckily my colleague is great and said her dad had been through something similar with payplan, all ended well

i really need to prove to her that i am committed to change and to the family and getting out of this mess and also to address the gambling. its going to be tough with more tears to come im sure. the good news is that ive had my CCCS appointment brought forward to next wednesday. this gives me a bit of peace of mind knowing that things are moving towards the day i can say to her that "this is the state of play, this is what i am paying"

hopefully this is acceptable in her eyes as we are planning to move and grow as a family and be comfortable as a family.

ive betrayed her trust and hope its not too late to win it back


RE JUAN ROMAN RIQUELME - maestro indeed