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ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

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  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    i got back into baking cakes and playing netball (to burn off the cakes) (something i hadnt done since i was at school 19 years ago!)
    I also made a concerted effort to visit friends, make that call i kept promising to friends/family

    wedding presents dont have to be expensive. just ook out for bargains on the grabbit threads and the shop but dont drop thread. You could make them something if you are particularly talented. Or maybe if you are selling stuff on ebay use some time to browse on there too.

    lots of people take up some sort of hobby so maybe you could incorporate something that would make a present. any good at embroidery or painting?

    I used tesco vouchers to get blockbuster dvd rental tokens and used to get a dvd out each friday night as a "treat". I've also used them for magazine subscriptions for myself and as presents. you can get them delivered to someone else and they wont know its done through your vouchers.
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • riquelme
    riquelme Posts: 304 Forumite
    hi everyone

    mixed emotions over past few days, it was our wedding anniversary yesterday so i took OH a bunch of flowers for being a great mum and to remember the good times we had together and made her cry!! in a nice way mind, acts like this help me in that the selfish gambling me would probably not bothered or got something last minute for her and i also want to be a good role model to my children.

    last night went to see a gig and waqs djing for a short while and got into a gambling conversation and some feelings cam flooding back but i was pleased with myself that i stopped the conversation before getting carried away. i dont want to associate with gamblers and feel uncomfortable talking about it (good thing i suppose)


    today though im picking the nippers up and making our way to harwich for a camping holiday in holland, 8/9 days with them is going to be great. so wont be around for a week or so

    stay strong everyone, gambling ruins lives, you dont see many poor bookies, you may win on the short term but they get it all back and more in the end
  • bigbeff
    bigbeff Posts: 1,119 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I feel like I am doing well, have been doing a bit of decluttering ready for my move and have hardly missed the bingo sites (maybe its because I know I can't get on them!!) Have managed to find a tenant for my house, and have listed items on ebay and amazon and am going to deliver a load of rubbish to charity shop later :) Feeling very good about myself - still lots of decluttering to do, but I am on a role!
    Debt busting 2022 Total £15842.68 £0 (100% paid since 1/1/22)
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Excellent post Riq, shows you are definitely moving in the right direction. Have a fantastic holiday. You deserve it xx

    Hi Bigbeff, well done on the decluttering. It's amazing how busy we can keep ourselves to the point i wonder where i ever had the time to gamble online for all the time i wasnt at work everyday and all weekend.
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • hi i am new on here i have been with my partner 11 years and after the first year he agreed to stop gambling we had 4 years where we built up a successfull business, had nice cars holidays and things were amazing. then he discovered the internet in 2004 and at the end of last year we had to sell the business to get him out of debt. i have just found out that all debts wernt paid and the whole £115,000 has gone. i have had enough im so sick of the lies and feel i have wasted 11 years of my life with him i will never understand it he was even going to GA he says he cant help it but surely he must see how it has destroyed our life ive got to leave i just wish id done it years ago
  • Hi Kaz, I can understand your anger. As a compulsive gambler, I haven't been where your partner is, but I have come extremely close. I was fortunate enough to realise how bad things were getting and was able to step back from the abyss. Today, I still feel I am standing there, but instead of taking that fatal step forward, I am able to fight that urge to take the step. Being here has helped me no end.

    I know all about the lies, I have told them all, and feel like a complete s**t for telling them, as I suspect many on here have.

    I cannot offer any words of advice regarding your relationship. The decision is yours to make. I will only say that yours is not an isolated case. The board is littered with broken marriages, relationships and friendships brought down by the scourge that is gambling and internet gaming.

    I can only hope that one day he will realise what he has lost and attempt to turn it all around. I am truly sorry that you have been hurt.
  • Hi I am new on here and would like to share my story.

    I got myself into a lot of trouble through gambling about 6 years ago through online casinos and ended up owing around £30k. I managed to pay this back through remortgaging my house and with help fro my parents. I also went to GA for a period of around 6 months and thought i was back on the straight and narrow, brought new car, got engaged and generally enjoyed life for the next 5 1/2 years.

    However for some reason that i cannot even work out i started gambling again 6 months ago. Small at first on sports betting a little up here and down there but nothing major. I had a bad streak and lost about £500 and for some reason thought i could win it back quickly on the casino sites. Now i am back where i was 6 years ago with about £30k's debt, this time with no equity in house and no savings etc too rely on.

    I cannot believe i have done it again, i have everthing in life i could ever wish for and seem determinned to throw it all away.

    I owe 100's to loan and credit card companies that i have now viable way of payong back. I am looking into goin on a DMP or trying to discuss with my creditors for reduced settlement figures.

    I have also started goin back to GA meetings and installed Gamblock on my PC as i am determnned that this will not happen again
    11k in 2011 £481.49/11000 (little way to go....)
    Matched Betting £360.45
    Cashback £60.41
    eBay Sales £34.63
    Survey Site Earnings; Toluna £30 v (P) Valued Opinions £20v Lightspeed £6 Ipsos 10 v (P)
  • cantcope
    cantcope Posts: 1,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Welcome to the thread. Well done for getting back to GA and putting the block on your PC
    It's said every week in my meeting that without GA you will eventually go back to gambling and i have seen it time and time again. Unfortunately, and i'm sure you've heard this already, you thought you knew better.
    Maybe one day i will feel the same

    However, with stories like yours it reminds me i am powerless over gambling and my life was unmanagable. This keeps me at GA. so while i'm sure you are feeling like crap right now, your story has helped me and i hope will help others as well as you. Thank you for sharing.

    Feel free to post as much as you like, we will support you on here regardless of whether you go to meetings or not. xx
    Last bet : 26th Oct 2006:j Debt free 25th Feb 2008:j Living "my" dream:T
  • riquelme
    riquelme Posts: 304 Forumite
    OMG, thats brought so many bad memories flooding back. thats virtually a mirror of my story. Got into massive debt, cleared it, thought i could handle my gambling and gamble responsibly, how wrong i was.
    As soon as that bad run appears then theres only 1 place that it was going to end up and thats disastrously.

    Face facts please, you're not a good gambler.

    take this addiction seriously this time.

    your debts can be cleared, it may take time and you may lose someone close to you as well (as i have) but im hoping my life can get back ion track one day. i can still be a good dad and role model even though i have these demons. You need to stop it now before these demons take everything from you

    keep posting and well done for the start you made
  • Jazzking
    Jazzking Posts: 293 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Good evening guys...... :(

    I did post on here probably more than a year ago and I do still read but since then I've not really given up online gambling but did try and control it so it wasn't so much at once - I didn't think it was a problem.
    Today, I found out I got a promotion at work, an extra £3000 a year before tax.
    Tonight I've had a few drinks to celebrate and thought, I'm feeling a bit flush, let's put a hundred or so into the casinos for fun.

    Blackjack's my game and my hundred lasted a little while but inevitably I ended up with zero..
    OK I thought, I'll put another £100 in; easy enough to double up
    Lost that, put £200 in; just need to get it up to £400 now, a few good hands at £50/hand will do that, right?
    Won some, lost some but even with single deck blackjack I lost it (running total £400 down)
    Right, last one for the night, put £400 in and managed to get it up to £805. Sensible person would count themselves lucky and cash out with £5 profit for a nerve racking half-hour's "entertainment"?

    Well, I considered it, but then thought I'll just put £25 on so then I'll have a worthwhile bit of profit...
    You know what happens next.... yup zero (running balance £800 down)

    The thing now is (like Deal or No Deal) I know what I could have had so I try to get back to what I could have had (even £5 profit is looking good now) so, I've got a £1500 overdraft on my account; I'll put another £700 in and I'm sure I'll get it back.

    no

    £700 gone in 13mins (never even got above the £700)
    so running total -£1500

    OK, Final chance, I've got £1500 savings; was going to use this to pay off the 0% credit card next month.
    Go through the process of changing my card online (all too easy) and put £1500 in. I only need a couple of big bets to get me up to £3000 then I'll be even.

    53 seconds later

    All gone.

    So there, a year's extra money (before tax!) down the drain in less than an hour.
    Not enough money to pay off the CC next month.
    My wife's out of work so even though I had "savings" they were our living money and now I've just wasted it , I can't believe it....

    And to think at 10pm tonight I was feeling great, 4 hours later I feel awful.
    And skint

    She knew I did some gambling in the past but I told her put K9 on the laptop downstairs, but I've been using the old PC upstairs late at night without her knowing and using the money to top up the 'savings' with the odd £100 winnings here and there.

    I really don't know what to do? I was sure I could manage it but now I'm not so sure. I guess I just need to try and acknowledge I've just lost three grand in an hour (and to think I was bothered about saving a fiver on getting the best deal for a new digital camera earlier tonight); put a block on this PC and just try and deal with the huge loss.

    I'm not looking for support. I can't tell anyone else about this; I just feel the need to get it out. I can't even go up and share the same bed with her tonight, I'll sleep in the spare room and feel rubbish and be in a bad mood all weekend, even though I should be happy that I've just got a promotion when in fact I've just wasted all the extra money, and more on a few stupid games on blackjack.

    Riq, cantcope, will... I feel like I know your stories and I feel that even though £3k is a lot; some people are a lot worse off than me but I can't believe I could be so stupid, especially when I had the opportunity to cash out and be done with it...

    :(
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