ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Welcome to the thread
You've made a massive step already by recognising you have no control and admitting you want to do something about it. If neither of you want to go the GA way, read through the whole thread from start to finish, have a read of some of the stories on the GA website. If nothing else they will help you realise you are not alone.

the thread is for anyone who wants to stop gambling and we support each other. Feel free to post as often or as little as you like. It can be very theraputic just writing your thoughts and feelings down. It's like a sort of release. Maybe the release you felt from everyday stresses when you gambled.

Debts can be paid but as posted above, it is not a race. As long as you are paying what you can afford without putting extra pressure on yourselves it can be done. Life is for living. You can do absolutely anything you want to in life except for gamble. Thats not so bad is it? Just not doing one thing out of millions of things we can do in life.

Take one day at a time. an hour at a time if need be.

Just for today, I will not gamble. xx

Jimby509

Indie, glad your still focused. Like cantcope says, 'read the whole thread'. It has been invaluble to me though I rarely post.

Internet gambling is my downfall, so I used a internet block and (touch wood) it has stopped me in my tracks. You say you gamble in a variety of ways, it is all the more important you keep focused. Read about how others have been sucked into the world of compulsive gambling via internet forums and blogs. I found that the more you understand about the way gambling traps people and the psycological affect on the brain the easier you can beat it. You will hear people going through the exact same feelings as we are.

I have had days in the past where I cut out a voucher that gives me 30p off a loaf of bread, got back from shopping and in 2hours blown £1000 on internet blackjack. When you get into the world of compulsive gambling logic can fly out of the window.

Keep posting, and I will look out for how you are doing.

J

cantcope

Great comparison about the 30p coupon Jimby. Isn't it amazing how we'll search high and low to save a few pence on things we actually need and then think nothing of wasting a months wages in one hit on a game?!

There's no way i'd hand over a months wages if someone said they could guarantee to entertain me for 10 minutes but then twist a knife in my stomach afterwards yet i did that online over and over again.

Jimby509

yes cantcope. I am still trying to peice together the last 4-5 years of my life regarding gambling. one day I will go through my bank statments and work out how much I have lost, though just the thoughts of doing that now makes me feal sick.

I am totaly amazed by my actions. I started by depositing just £2 a time to play online games. I was devastated when I lost £20 in one day. As time passed I got used to depositing larger amounts £10 per time, then £20 or £50, several times per day untill my savings had gone. Then the £4000 loan, Credit cards bank overdraft all gambled away, not to mention most of my wages.

I would love to stick some good music on, have a few beers and play blackjack for hours. It felt so good to turn £100 into anything upto £4000, but you cant stop, even when I tried to withdraw I would not be able to walk away, I would log in to my casino account later and reverse the withdraw and then go on to lose the lot. Then I would use more of my hard earned cash to chase the losses.

I have tried to give up before, but end up putting on that 'one last bet' that is never enough.

Something snapped inside my head last week and I know I won't ever gamble again. No ifs or buts, never again. I can't keep living like this. I have been in a cloud of denile for for years

cantcope

Hi Jimby,
great postm i can relate to that and i'm sure many others will.

I personally wouldnt do the "work out how much i lost". It will not be of any benefit to you. You have to accept that the money is gone and your new life starts now. You wont ever get the money back so to work out "how much" will only make you feel worse than you do now.

If i did that, do i also work out how much i won? and then lost as well? No point and will not help me. I know if i hadnt done it i would be mortgage free. That's enough for me. I dont need finer details.

Just for today i will not gamble.

indierocker85

Thanks for you support guys, I am making regular payments off my debts now, which is a positive thing.

And made a note of when my last bet was, so I can look back on that day in months/years and think about how well I have done.

Thanks guys

I'll keep you posted

cantcope

Hi and welcome to the thread.

I'm not sure we can beat this thing but we can stop it with hard work, effort and support. Writing your post should have helped a little bit.
Do your parents? o/h know? If you tell someone close they can support you and help you stop gambling.

Have you considered going to a GA meeting? You will get lots of support and advice there. It's not for everyone but you'll never know if you don't give a decent try. It's invaluable to me as i had tried to stop on my own over and over again and it never happened. By going to the meetings once a week i'm now over 3 and a half years off a bet so it must be helping.

There is nothing foolproof to stop you gambling as you've hinted at in your post, other than handing all your finances over to someone you trust.

I have a block on my computer but like you say could do it elsewhere if i really wanted to. But i dont want to.. and thats what stops me.

You have to REALLY WANT TO STOP. If you do, then you will.

Have to go to work now but didnt want to read and run. I'll post again when i get some time but i'm sure the other peeps will be along soon with some support and advice.

Get up this morning and tell yourself that just for today, you wont gamble x

Jimby509

Good post irealyneedhelp.

Anyone with a gambling problem could identify with your situation. I understand what you meen about being an intelligent person and feeling amazed at how a logical and intelligent rasional person can do somthing so irational and destructive as compulsive gambling. I regard myself as intelligent, yet I could spend 40 hours in a job I hate to raise a few hundred pounds, just to kiss goodbye to the cash in 30min on a blackjack table, over and again.

I think you should bookmark this page and reread your post. Don't forget how bad you feel when you wrote the above post and realise that gambling in any form is the activity that leads you to feeling so negative.

You have been dealing with this adiction for years and gamble in many different ways. I think cantcope has some good advise for you in advising you to get help from either your other half/ parent/ friend/ GA . You may need someone close to take control of your money untill you know you wont bet it away or help you find other ways of getting master of the adiction. There is no reason to go through this by yourself.

Also look on the brightside. You are in your late 20s as am I. We have lots of time to beat the adiction get back on track and not have a life hammpered by debt and gambling.

J

Jimby509

I understand your concerns about telling your other half. Is there anyone other than her you can confide in? For now you HAVE TO put a block on your internet to stop you gambling. I have been using this http://www.plevna.f9.co.uk/block-gambling-with-txnogam.htm

Without it I would have given in to the temptation of online blackjack.

J

Googlewhacker

IReallyNeedHelp wrote: »

Thanks for your reply, writing my post did help a little.
My OH knew but I promised I would stop else she would leave me the last time this happened.. I cant tell her again else that will be it and I dont want that, I have treated her so badly though because of all of this, I really need to stop. I woke up in the night and almost deposited to play blackjack then realised what I was doing!! I really want to stop I just dont know how right now... GA isnt a possibility either as I have a baby to look after when im home from work..

It is easier if you can confide with your OH and sometimes you have to take that risk for the better. I can't guarantee that she will stay but what I can guarantee is that eventually secrets come out and it is the majority of the time better to be upfront than to be found out.