ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

HEROWHENZERO

9 months off a bet today and the first Christmas EVER that I have money budgeted for Christmas presents. Living within my means and not starting 2017 with additional debt. I feel blessed to be part of GA, to have an outlet where I can share anything and not be judged, to give support to others and get the support I need to stay off a bet.

Keep working the program, keep going to meetings, it works... if you want it to.

One day at a time.

Hero

cantcope

Great work!
I am looking forward to seeing my son on Christmas morning when he realises Father Christmas has brought him everything he wanted and more.
i have his birthday first on the 21st.... he will be four. so this time of year is crazy for me a brilliant crazy

if i gambled there would be no excitement, no gifts, no birthday party. just a sense of incredible guilt and shame. no thanks

cantcope

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you all had a great gamble free Christmas. If you didnt, now is the time to make the change and stop x

Allouttahope

Reading this topic has really hit home. I've hit rock bottom with my gambling, become obessed by it and have taken out various loans to "try and win it all back" It's the first thing I think of in a morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'm 27 years old and still live at home, I know deep down my parents would be devasted but ultimately they would hopefully support me. I've had to take out payday loans this month just to get me through Xmas and ended up as predicted sticking them into my online betting accounts instead. I really don't think I can take anymore and have even had thoughts of the ultimate end, my main problem is im just utterly terrified to tell anyone how bad it has got and can't see a way out. Seen people mention dept repayment plans but surely pay day loan companies won't accept these??

Makeachange

All my debt is due to gambling and i am currently at 65 days gamble free, and i have a plan to pay off debts and i just need to keep going!

cantcope

Allouttahope wrote: »

Reading this topic has really hit home. I've hit rock bottom with my gambling, become obessed by it and have taken out various loans to "try and win it all back" It's the first thing I think of in a morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'm 27 years old and still live at home, I know deep down my parents would be devasted but ultimately they would hopefully support me. I've had to take out payday loans this month just to get me through Xmas and ended up as predicted sticking them into my online betting accounts instead. I really don't think I can take anymore and have even had thoughts of the ultimate end, my main problem is im just utterly terrified to tell anyone how bad it has got and can't see a way out. Seen people mention dept repayment plans but surely pay day loan companies won't accept these??

i felt like this about telling my parents too and i didnt even live with them but i think we always want their approval and never want to "disappoint". They WILL support you and they will be glad you felt able to tell them.
text if you cant say it face to face... have your bills ready to show them. tell them everything. they cant really help if you hide some as the lies will eat away at you.

good luck. x

Allouttahope

Still can't face telling them, my Dad is very old school and I really worry what he will do. The normal loans are manageable it is the payday loans I have stupidly taken out over Christmas that are going to destroy me at the end of the month. Feel alone and like there is no way out

cantcope

there is a way out but its a difficult one where you have to face your fears. The loans aren't manageable if you continue to gamble.
My dad is pretty old school too and doesnt talk much. he did however help me out and i paid him back and he put blocks on my laptop for me, helped me find a GA meeting and has supported me emotionally every since.
he doesnt understand as he can quite happily have a fiver on a horse a few times a week without wanting to do it over and over again but what he does understand is that i didnt have that control and he understands that by me telling him it puts another barrier in place for me as if i gamble now i will face telling him i did it again no thanks.

like i say, write a note, send a text. before it gets too much x

[Deleted User]

Allouttahope wrote: »

Seen people mention dept repayment plans but surely pay day loan companies won't accept these??

Yes they will absolutely accept debt repayments plans and they will freeze the interest as soon as you tell them you are struggling, so tell them immediately and then register with someone like StepChange. From their point of view they would much rather you paid it back slowly than not pay it back at all.

There is lots of info on the Debt-Free Wannabe Board so have a look into it and plan a way to bounce back and start again.

HEROWHENZERO

Allouttahope wrote: »

Reading this topic has really hit home. I've hit rock bottom with my gambling, become obessed by it and have taken out various loans to "try and win it all back" It's the first thing I think of in a morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'm 27 years old and still live at home, I know deep down my parents would be devasted but ultimately they would hopefully support me. I've had to take out payday loans this month just to get me through Xmas and ended up as predicted sticking them into my online betting accounts instead. I really don't think I can take anymore and have even had thoughts of the ultimate end, my main problem is im just utterly terrified to tell anyone how bad it has got and can't see a way out. Seen people mention dept repayment plans but surely pay day loan companies won't accept these??

There is help available, GA is there to help you stop gambling, and StepChange are great at helping out on the debt front. I'm now 7 months into a debt management plan and each month life is becoming more manageable. I attend GA meetings every week and by not gambling life does improve. I was horrified about telling anyone, but it was even harder telling my parents, especially as they had bailed me out a number of times. It was the best thing that I did, I now live my life honestly and my relationships are improving. I didn't realise it at the time, but whilst I was gambling and lying and ducking and diving, I'd distance myself from my loved ones. Once I told them, they knew that something wasn't quite right, but things are improving now and I owe it to GA and this forum and myself for making the changes to stop gambling.

Hero