ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

it is very easy to forget how bad it was and start to wonder if you'd be able to "control" it now.... try not to test or tempt yourself.
You're doing great! make sure you have blocks on computers in case you're tempted too. k9 is free. just get someone else to put in password or jam the keys with your eyes shut.

i dont know anyone who's life got worse by stopping gambling but i know lots who's life got a lot worse by continuing.

All good here. I'm starting divorce proceedings which is tough but my clear gamble free head can deal with it as a grown up

How's everyone else?

alfred64

May be useful:


http://www.gamblingcommission.gov.uk/Press/2016/Gambling-Commission-starts-two-way-conversation-with-consumers.aspx?utm_source=eBulletin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=October&utm_content=3.10.16-2-way-conversation

cantcope

im not sure how they can win really. its a business. the fact some people gain a problem is something i'm not sure they can address without stopping it altogether
even if they put limits in you can walk to other betting shops, race courses, join different online sites....

HEROWHENZERO

I started a new thread after searching for gambling and not finding anything, I should I have tried gambler and I would have found this one :-)

I've gambled for most of my childhood and adult life. It used to be manageable....until I was about 7! I used to steal my mum's and sisters money to be able to gamble on the seaside fruit machines. Once I started work I used to blow most of my part time wages on the fruit machines, many times blowing the whole weeks wages on the day I got paid. As soon as I was 18 I lived life in debt, moving money around, gambling, having periods of abstinence, pay some of the debt off, then bang, back on it and normally worse than last time.

When I was around 24 I was left some money, from the very guy that had sexually abused me as a teenager, this spiralled my gambling addiction to unreconcilable levels. In about 6 months I had become a VIP member of an online casino and had wagered bets totalling $1.5M!! Obviously I didn't have this much to start with but it was an accumulation of constant winning and losing. Losing more than winning I must add. Even though at one time, I had enough to buy a house in cash, I ended up £86K in debt to loans and credit cards.

I went crawling to Bank of Mum and Dad, and they helped me clear most of the debt, and I started going to GA. I didn't stay there for long, because I refused to accept at the time that I was the same as the other guys in the room. I was special, I can control my gambling, and having won pretty large sums in the past, I could do it again! Who was I kidding!!

I have been pretty successful with my career and work hard, but the more I earned, the more I gambled. I'd stopped going to GA after about 6 months, as I thought I'd cracked it and wouldn't go back to reckless compulsive gambling again. That was some seriously delusional thinking, I spent the next 12 years on and off of gambling, "binge gambling", I'd pay off £30K then burn £40K in a very short timescale.

I'm now 37, nearly 8 months in recovery and doing well. I'm in a DMP and life is slowly becoming manageable.

I've lost a lot through gambling, and it's not just money. A house, 2 long term relationships, TIME, emotions, self-esteem, self-confidence. Compulsive gambling is a considered an emotional illness that can not be cured, but can be arrested by working a program. It's the same as any other addiction and the solution is the same. The GA program is the same program as AA, CA, NA...etc etc. Lots of people don't understand how it works, but if you work the program and put just 10% of the effort into recovery that you did gambling, then it can actually be quite easy, and trust that it works.

Today, I don't gamble, I don't want to gamble, my life is improving, at times I considered ending my life and I'm so grateful that I didn't.

Spending time with loved ones and creating memories are much more important than bolstering the gambling industry. My wife has been through hell due to my gambling and it's certainly restricting our life financially, but it's going to get better and every day that I do not gamble is a GREAT day!!

I accept that I am a compulsive gambler and that I will always be a recovering compulsive gambler. Acceptance is the MOST important step and is quite rightly step 1. Every great journey, no matter how far you travel begins with the first step.

Just for today I will not gamble...

One day at a time :-)

Hero

cantcope

Great post Hero.
I owe everything to GA. Ten years ago i thought my life wasn't worth living. Now i cant be any further away from that.

Poor_Single_lady

Thank you for posting Hero and cope. Both very useful and helpful. Appreciated by many.

jools1985

how is everyone doing? I joined GA 2 weeks ago - my third meeting was tonight. I feel kind of tetchy and irritable without my gambling buzz. It was destroying me though so I'm really hoping for better times ahead.

HEROWHENZERO

jools1985 wrote: »

how is everyone doing? I joined GA 2 weeks ago - my third meeting was tonight. I feel kind of tetchy and irritable without my gambling buzz. It was destroying me though so I'm really hoping for better times ahead.

Hey Jools,

Things will get better, take it a day at a time, keep yourself busy, if you can, try other meetings too, there's no rules around how many meetings a week you go to. In the early days, the more meetings you go to, the easier it can be. You're on the right track, keep going to meetings, read the orange book, especially the just for today part. I often say the serenity prayer multiple times a day, especially when gambling thoughts cross my mind. It helps me a lot. Also have a look at the GA forum and there is a chat room too.

Just for today I will not gamble.

Hero

jools1985

Thanks Hero - I really appreciate your support. I keep reading the books I was given at the first meeting as they help me stay on track. I'll try other meeting too. Seems a good idea as they could all be a bit different. I've been inspired by the way some people have turned their lives around by not gambling. I want to be like them.

cantcope

you can be like them if you follow the program and attend meetings x
the orange book is a great resource. i try and live by the serenity prayer. it makes decision making so much easier.
take a look at the 12 steps too and remember you dont need to tackle your whole life problems at once. just for today xx