ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

HEROWHENZERO wrote: »

There is help available, GA is there to help you stop gambling, and StepChange are great at helping out on the debt front. I'm now 7 months into a debt management plan and each month life is becoming more manageable. I attend GA meetings every week and by not gambling life does improve. I was horrified about telling anyone, but it was even harder telling my parents, especially as they had bailed me out a number of times. It was the best thing that I did, I now live my life honestly and my relationships are improving. I didn't realise it at the time, but whilst I was gambling and lying and ducking and diving, I'd distance myself from my loved ones. Once I told them, they knew that something wasn't quite right, but things are improving now and I owe it to GA and this forum and myself for making the changes to stop gambling.

Hero

always great to hear a success story. Keep up the good work, life IS worth living and if you do it with no lies there's less crap on your shoulders to remember and carry. :beer:

[Deleted User]

I would encourage anyone thinking about stopping gambling to read The Easy Way to Stop Gambling by Allen Carr. You can also listen to the audiobook with a free Audible trial. The aim is to make it easy to stop gambling but at the very least it will make you reflect on what you're doing and why you're doing it. :think:

HEROWHENZERO

[quote=[Deleted User];72003309]I would encourage anyone thinking about stopping gambling to read The Easy Way to Stop Gambling by Allen Carr. You can also listen to the audiobook with a free Audible trial. The aim is to make it easy to stop gambling but at the very least it will make you reflect on what you're doing and why you're doing it. :think:[/QUOTE]

I have the book, and I bought it whilst I was still gambling, but haven't yet read a page of it. Now that I'm over 10 months in recovery, attending weekly GA meetings, I'm in a much better head space and will give reading it another go.

hero

cantcope

I read his stop smoking book and went to one of his clinics in Wimbledon years ago. Lit a cigarette on the way home ��

Jimby509

I read the 'Easy way to stop gambling' but to be honest, I did not rate it.

Its Allen Carr's method to stop smoking only applied to gambling. But I don't think you can apply a 'one size fits all' solution to all adictions.

If you smoke you get an itch or an irritability if you dont smoke, so must smoke more to feel 'normal'. The book goes on to state that the gambling adict must gamble to feel normal.

The book repeats itself over again and contradicts itself eg 'a problem gambler needs to gamble each day' then 'a problem gambler may not gamble frequently'.

It also goes on and on about how will power does not work (it can do) and how a gambler is terrified about being deprived of gambling and if they disagree with this they are in denile (nope, I am most tranquil when I know I cannot gamble).

I like the rational the book gives on how gambling does not give the gambler anything, any benefit is an illusion. However it then goes on about how we gamble to copy the way actors and celebs do and lost me.

I think the book is down to belief. Belive and commit that you wont smoke/gamble and you won't. However the reality of whether you will or will not kick the habit is already decided before you read this book

cantcope

i dont think anything will work until you truly have had enough and want to never gamble again.
the "i need to stops" and "i have to stop for my family" will always have an outside pressure. once you accept you are powerless over gambling and admit defeat and want to stop because you want control of your life then and only then will you stop for good.

HEROWHENZERO

It's a shame that it has to come to it, but most people with addictions have to hit rock bottom before they finally admit defeat and wave that white flag. I did that nearly 11 months ago and I'm finally starting to get my life back on track.

Hero

cantcope

How is everyone?

jools1985

Hi cantcopeI and thanks for asking.

'm feeling a lot more settled now. I still have the odd urge to gamble but it's not all consuming the way it was and I've resisted the temptation. I really need to sort out my large mostly gambling fuelled debt. Repaying the debt is my current obsession. I'm not in a DMP as I've transferred everything to interest free credit cards that I already had but owed nothing on. I couldn't get the very long balance transfers they offer these days as my debt is more than my annual salary. This means the debt increased last month to take into account the transfer fees but I now feel in control of my own life. I've got the debt on 20 months and 18 months interest free. It won't be paid off by then but it should be half what it is now. I'm using the snowball method and the luckily the credit card with the lowest balance also has the highest APR once the 0 per cent offer ends. That will be gone by December and I know that will bring me great satisfaction.

I'm no longer feeling anxious and living on my nerves. I like this new calm feeling I'm experiencing. I'm sleeping better and am so much happier. The level of debt makes me feel sick but I'm in control which is a huge consolation.

How's everyone else doing?

Hillwalker17

Hello, new person here. Part of my loans and money issues are from gambling (past and present). I find myself doing fine for months and then one day, boom I fancy a bet. Once that initial bet is made, its all downhill from there. The figures or the money don't matter, it seems that I enjoy the feeling of waiting for the decisive blow (win or loose).

I'm on day 2 of no gambling. Joining up to this website has helped me to focus on what my priorities are in life and that I can't do the things I want to by wasting my money gambling.

I would advise people to get professional help, I never did and I still have a problem 8 years later. I just need to keep myself busy so I don't have the time to think about it.

Good luck to everyone.