ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Dustykitten

Hi all

Looking for some advice. Just found out that my 18 year old son has been playing online poker. I'm worried that this could become addictive, expensive. Should I worry?

I know this could sound silly but I've no experience of this. Thanks

riquelme

Hi Dusty

potentially it could be expensive and addictive. The problem is by playing on line you are not handing any money over physically. Its too easy to go further and further into debt.I'd start a conversation with him and try and be open about it, let him know you are there if needs be. Get your local GA's details. Possibly ask him to read through this thread from start to finish

hope its nothing to worry about.

cantcope

Hi Dusty,

It could turn into a problem. Perhaps have a think. does he play for long? Does he play when he would usually be out with friends? If its not affecting his "normal" routine then he may just be a social gambler and there is no problem with that. If it takes priority then yes, its a problem.

I'd just keep an eye on it for now xx

Hi Riq, turns out hubbbys ex !!!!!!ed off in january from the house they own together (we just got a court to agree we can sell). she didnt tell solicitor and left us with 3 months arrears and a mortgage to pay. She was paying it as she wanted to live there and was refusing to sell so this was agreed 4 years ago before i met him. Its interest only so house isnt in any equity. in fact its in negative equity

We are now broke, hubby doesnt want to live there so we are in my one bed flat, paying a mortgage for that and one for a 3 bed house, savings (that we were saving for our own house once theirs had sold) went on the arrears and a baby on the way in december.

Baby news is wonderful and should be happiest time of our lives. Solicitor hasnt been able to contact her for nearly a month now. hubby has 3 marks on his credit file and we are broke

However, a bet wont solve it, i know that much. All we can do is what we are doing now and hope the solicitor catches up with her. But if she has no money (seems her salon has closed too) then it wont help anyway. House is on market now.

very very stressed

riquelme

CC - what a mess, how would you feel about living there? is there no way that he could face putting up with living there until it was sold?

Didnt realise you were expecting, wow thats great news and despite whats going on will be the happiest time of your life. Just look where you have come from, where you have dragged yourself from. You've faced bigger hurdles for sure, its a blip. You know the drill, make a plan, stick together, tighten the belts and you'll get through it.

Keep posting people even if checking in (i'm one to talk!!)

Jimby509

I have not checked into this thread in some months (years?), but now HAVE to post. I have been adicted to gambling for 8 years now. Debt, moods, anxiety etc etc. Somehow managed to get married, have a kid and lead a somewhat normal life in this time. Though none of my family or friends know I gamble.

So things have been going okay (relativly) the debt of £12000 is down to £1750 and still no one knows I gamble. I put a gaming block on my PC, my Bank account went from hovering above -£100 to being over £1000 credit.

PROBLEM

I have a smart phone after a contract upgrade. The phone lets me access the internet including online casinos. I have, in under one month, opened several accounts and won and lost thousands. I could have been £3000 up but now have just £200 in my bank account and am waiting on a payout from one casino because I need to pay rent.

I have totaly fallen off the wagon. I just cant stop. I even skipped a day off work to get to Mcdonalds to get the free WiFi to gamble more.

I even went into a real Casino last week, for the first time. I told the person sitting next to me at the BlackJack table I was going to play all my winning untill I lose. Why did I do that? I hate gambling, but I love it, I hate myself when I lose cash, but hate it when I have the winnings and gamble to lose it?

Can somone here kick me up the ars& and tell me to stop! I know gambling is a losers game, odds stacked against us and our human minds compulsing us to hit the big one like a donkey chasing a carrot but I can't stop!

cantcope

I think its time to come clean to your wife so that she can support you. Explain how well you'd been doing and that you want to stop again and would like her help.
Get onto your network provider. they can block access to casino's. orange did this for me on my i-phone when i got it.

I'd recommend GA too. You've done this on your own, you dont have to x

You are a compulsive gambler. You cant stop when you are winning and you cant stop when you are losing. So whats the point as you will ALWAYS lose.

Glad you posted. If you really want to stop for good you'll own up, get to GA and give your wife control of your money. Oh and either get the sites blocked or rid of the phone

Let us know how you get on

Jimby509

Thanks for the advice cantcope!

I am with T-mobile but will look into options to block casinos via network provider. I will be changing hadset if I can't. What is the point of walking around with temptation in my pocket?

Feeling much more in control today, the gambling haze of deposit-play-win-lose-deposit again has lifted.

Cheers, J

riquelme

Jimby - going to be blunt - you will slip up again despite having a good day. You know it deep down and you probably know that day will come and you will lose a shed load.

Going to echo CC's post, if youre serious then come clean and tell your OH, blocks on your phone and your OH looks after your money.

Time to take action if you are serious

riquelme

bump - everyone ok?

not good here, had to call the police out to noisy neighbours, woke up to find solvents all over my car and a potato in my exhaust. Handed my tenancy notice in and cant really afford to move. Divorce imminent too.

no gambling, serious temptations though as money is tighter than ever

cantcope

Hi Riq, sorry to hear all that! These things are certainly sent to try us arent they.
I'm still waiting for our neighbours to be evicted. I live above a flat that has temp tenants in and out, generally drug users which make my flat stink of drugs and keep us awake all night.
Unfortunately, i own my flat so cant just hand my notice in

Due to hubbys ex we'll be here at least another 2 years now whereas we should have been able to buy a house next summer

Make sure all the barriers are well and truly up right now if temptation is about. blocks on pcs and phones, let your friends know you are feeling tempted so they can support you too x