today, I bury my father.

McKneff

thought about you a few times yesterday. glad everything went okay for you.

Pollycat

James
I'm pleased to hear that the funeral went off without any of the unpleasantness that you were obviously worried about.

It must have been a very difficult time for you, but at least you retained your dignity and honoured your Dad's memory.

Margaret54

I am so sorry you have lost your lovely Dad James. I am sorry I have only seen your post today. I have had a horrible experience many years ago, when I had to bury my Uncle. I was deeply shocked at how certain people behaved, and was disgusted at some remarks made, by family members. I too bit my tongue and held my head up and ignored the hateful looks and the incessant loud talking the whole way through my Uncle's service in the church. It was dreadful, even the minister remarked he had never seen the like of it, and it was about money too, I noticed. The same ones were never over his door to visit him despite living nearby, and it taught me a lot about people like them. You behaved with the utmost dignity and your dad will have been proud of you. Take comfort in all the lovely memories you have of him, and please don't worry about not crying. My husband couldn't understand why he could not cry when his sister died a few years ago, but it didn't mean he didn't love her. God bless you, and I am so glad you have your partner's support too.xx

beyond_skint

My condolences to you

I think you are a very strong person, I would have wanted to be like you but I probably couldn't have so well done.

My friend is a solicitor and she says when people die she sees talons come out, even in very meek people. Grief is a funny thing, sometimes people just need to off load their feelings with an argument.

I feel for you and your family at this sad time. I hope you have some kind of hope for the future to help deal with your loss.

Shambler

Well done for not stooping to their level, some people just have no respect.

As has been said you are a credit to your dad, very level-headed and I am proud of you too.

Sailor_Sam

Sorry for your loss James. My mum died last year, she was so fussy, a real pain-in-the -bum, there were so many days i'd need to bite my tongue. I cried buckets, and there's been so many nights that i've sat here alone and wished, as fussy as she was, i wish she was still here. But at least it was quick, and she did'nt suffer.
Don't be afraid to cry, it's certainly not a sign of weakness.

jamescredmond

thanks to all of you who have replied.

apologies for not getting back sooner (all things considered).

having read some of the replies here I feel my post may have sounded like a whinge.

promise you: it wasn't. just looking for a tad advice - never been here before.

it looks like I got off pretty lightly, compared to some of the nightmares that have been posted.

this is very much an emotive issue, but found the insight of people who I don't know useful.

I could get beat up with human nature but what I've been pleased about - more than anything - is the positive attitude that this thread has uncovered.

some of you guys have been through much worse than I had to tolerate and still kept a sense of perspective.

respect.

moggylover

jamescredmond wrote: »

thanks to all of you who have replied.

apologies for not getting back sooner (all things considered).

having read some of the replies here I feel my post may have sounded like a whinge.

promise you: it wasn't. just looking for a tad advice - never been here before.

it looks like I got off pretty lightly, compared to some of the nightmares that have been posted.

this is very much an emotive issue, but found the insight of people who I don't know useful.

I could get beat up with human nature but what I've been pleased about - more than anything - is the positive attitude that this thread has uncovered.

some of you guys have been through much worse than I had to tolerate and still kept a sense of perspective.

respect.

You didn't sound whinging at all - just tired and hurting (as one is when someone dear goes) and I think perhaps you just wanted to put your worry in words so that it was "out there" and you could see it and not go with reacting (iyswim).

Glad you got through it without incident. Hope you are coping with the loss and remember, we all have our own pain, and that yours may have been less dramatic perhaps than that of some others doesn't make it any less real or difficult to deal with.

Take care. Hope life treats you kindly whilst you get through this period.

louise540056

You didn't sound like you were whinging at all - just like someone who needed to vent!!

I'm really sorry about your dad- well done for handling it so well! x

As for any trouble makers 'f*ck 'em'! They mean nothing xxx

Errata

I didn't read it as a whinge - more of a worry if anything.
Dunno why weddings and funerals bring out both the best and worst in people - but funerals are when you find out what people are really like.