The cost of clutter? Updated :)

Prudent

I should clarify she is till at school, so the work thing isn't really the issue here. She does do some voluntary work. My question is just about the clutter.

tanith

I have just finished clearing my 'spare' room of my sons belongings.. he is in a rented room and its small.. so most of it is packed in bags and boxes in our loft... which is ok as we don't intend on moving anytime soon... he took as much as he could when he moved out but the rest which consists of CD's , UNI stuff... some clothes, various electrical bits and pieces , loads of computer stuff , 2 old hardrives that he wants to keep and other stuff.. we were ok with this....in fact I have slowly been going through the boxes and taking anything I consider useless to the dump..:rotfl: he will of forgotten what was there anyway..

Then on Saturday he broaches the subject of Applying for A Skills Visa for emigrating to Australia... :eek: I need to get him up that loft pronto or he is going to swan off across the world and leave me with his 'stuff':eek:

Davesnave

Without being judgemental, your daughter didn't get to this point without your tacit approval. As someone else said, you are the adult and you must take the adult decision, but it won't be easy, as your daughter has a wealth of past experience of what's 'reasonable' to go on!

A helping of humble pie all round, I reckon.

poppysarah

Prudent wrote: »

Job :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

She tells me she is too tired to get a job and it would effect her social life.

Awww bless.

Well don't give her any pocket money. She's 16 and needs to learn the value of her time and what money actually is. Failiure on your part now will lead to huge problems in the future so sort her out.

When I was 16 my mum forced me to get a job. This involved arranging interviews and physically taking me to them. I found my own job fairly soon after she'd started but if she'd not given me the major nudge I'd not have bothered and would have missed out on learning some very valuable lessons about hard work.

moanymoany

poppysarah wrote: »

Awww bless.

Well don't give her any pocket money. She's 16 and needs to learn the value of her time and what money actually is. Failiure on your part now will lead to huge problems in the future so sort her out.

When I was 16 my mum forced me to get a job. This involved arranging interviews and physically taking me to them. I found my own job fairly soon after she'd started but if she'd not given me the major nudge I'd not have bothered and would have missed out on learning some very valuable lessons about hard work.

At 14 both my kids had Sunday jobs. My son, especially, was not hugely enthusiastic - but boy did he love the money.

Dh has just reminded me of the 2 bags of stuff he left with us when he went to Australia. When he had his visa and could stay we took them to the tip without even opening them. We were worried we might find something useful and keep it...:eek:

kj*daisy

Buy the smaller flat - put the panda's into Storage and tell your daughter that she needs to pay the storage or sell the panda's (and the rest)

zarazara

sell the house and buy the flat. dont put up with tantrums. tell DD to donate the pandas and stuff to charity. end of problem.

pandapaws

Oh, poor you! 400 pandas - what an absolutely terrifying thought. At least pandas aren't best known for producing offspring: think what could have happened if it had been 400 bunnies up there!!!

Definitely tell her to get shot of some of them, How about a massive car boot sale? Although sadly second hand cuddlies might not sell too well. Freecycle might be a better option, or ask around some local childrens charities. The flat sounds lovely, it would be crazy if you couldn't get something like that just because of a bunch of bamboo-munchers in the loft. Good luck!

tincat

It's possible she's sabotaging the moving process. How does she feel about relocating? Maybe she's putting up a fight for her stuff in order not to be moved away from her current friends / school. In which case tread carefully as there are bigger issues going on inside her.

(I did get the impression that you would be moving a reasonable distance away, as it's to cut down on your commute).

mlz1413

You've had some good advise about getting tough and making your DD face facts, I total agree with this as my Mum is a hoarder - not seriously but she hates actually doing something about it.

In fact my Mum sold her house 2 years ago to live with me short term before she emigrated, the whole clearing process should have been started when she decided to emigrate but actually happened days before she moved. Then when living with me she accumalated (sp?) more stuff even when she knew she couldn't take it with her.

Do your DD a big favour and make her responsible for the stuff she keeps - she will never be able to de-clutter regularly like you do, but being able to sort out in her mind when the limits are reached will ultimately do her a huge favour as she goes into adulthood and hopefully becomes a responsible adult.

Good luck with your move remember you have to do what is right for you.