Breakup Help NEEDED !!!

sarah1980

Send the new bloke a demand for rent for living in YOUR house.

Then write to the mortgage company, explain that the house is on the market and see if they will at least freeze the interest for the next few months. In my experience the earlier you communicate with these people the more accommodating they will be.

The CSA should take into account the fact that your ex is now living with someone who can contribute to the household bills and therefore your child support payments should be less.

Re: solicitors, I think Got2change is right about there will be some consideration about the fact that she had an affair (and it sounds like she did) which will affect the settlement.

Solicitors can be helpful, just remember they are there to make money so don't let them push you into trying protract the divorce any more than you feel necessary. I know so many people who go to the solicitor with an idea of what they want to end up with and the solicitor tells them "Oh no, that's not enough! Did you know you could possibly get this?" and it all carried on for ages.

Good luck

Firefly

If you read the OP it seems that the relationship with the new guy is over!

loftus

Just for your information, CSA payments are based solely on your income and the number of overnight stays the children have with you. They are not affected by your ex living with anyone else (although I think you said she was no longer doing so).
However any future settlement of your assets would be affected by her - or you - cohabiting.
It's a horrible situation you find yourself in. If it could be bared I would suggest you move back into the family home. You have as much right to be there as she does.

WhereNowGuy

I am blown away by the support I have recieved on this site, Thank you all so much for your advice. I will take the free half hour, and will go armed with bullet points as suggested.

As an addition, after my wife split with her new fella, she did make an attempt to get back together, it was along the lines of " What a couple of fools we have been ... so, should we just pick things up where we left off?"

Needless to say, I was not impressed. I think she only did it to ensure the house wouldn't be sold anyway.

WhereNowGuy

Oh, and also, she believes that she hasn't commited adultery as I had moved out, and we were married only on paper at that stage.

Dazi

Hi
I am living with my partner who went through a very similar senario to yours, when he moved out, the other bloke moved in, at the time he was gutted that his marriage was over, he paid the mortgage, the bills, and maintenance for his daughter. He didn;t take legal advice and they sold the house, his wife took half of the equity, he was left with his half, but he took on all the extra joint debts, so in effect although he got half the equity, he was still in debt because of the extra stuff, and also in reality he should have charged ex and new bf for living in the house until it was sold.

His ex didnt think she had commited adultry cos in her eyes the marriage was over. She also tried the 'oh what a mistake, lets get back together' thing, but this was 18 months later after he had met me, shame her fling didnt work out!

So OP, however sad it seems that your marriage is over, please take legal advice re all thas, as after 5 years my partner is still paying off stuff that should have been paid for out of the equity from their house sale, and I don't want to upset ex wives on here, I am an ex wife too, but get the maintenance sorted out properly, my OH has no legal agreement re maintenance, only more and more demands from his ex which has got to such a state now that OH is trying to take this to CSA on his own behalf. We have his DD everyother weekend and and usually one day/night the other weekend, we have offered to have her live here one week here and one one week there but ex will not allow this, as this will mean less money for her. She sends her with demands for clothes/school stuff most weekends, OH is now paying his DD an allowance straight into her bank account for things she needs, as he felt if he paid extra and above the maintenance he paid it was going into ex pocket, to now fund her seemingly born again teenage years where she is out clubbing at weekends!

I am not a woman with an axe to grind, as I said, I am an ex wife, I always got on great with my exH and we sorted things out ok, but there are some women who sadly seem to see the word husband as 'meal ticket' and think that is their due for the rest of their lives.

Hoping things go ok for you xx