IA's back on the tracks diary.

hypno06

I did my "three years" too this year - sometimes it seems like yesterday, other times a lifetime away.

But you are right - it is all part of our own journey, it changes us. But if we look at ourselves we can make sure that it changes us for the better, and take that forward into the future.

spud30

I completely agree with Beanie, Sar, you have nothing to be sorry for.

I'm now 12 years without my mum, and all of your feelings are completely normal. Even if you had made it to the hospital, you would feel guilty about other things.

I didnt get to the hospital in time either. I was sat at home, on the phone to DH having a blazing row. We were on the phone so long, the hospital had BT interrupt our call. Imagine how bad we both felt about that.

My mum was cremated, but I have never been to the crem once since. I dont need to, she's here with me (I'd like to think she's not here ALL the time though) I talk to her a lot, I'm certain I've made mistakes she wouldnt be happy with, but that's just part of growing up and living your life.

I recently even contemplated selling her jewellery (she had LOTS) in order to pay some of our debt. I havent done it, and feel awful for thinking about it, but I'm sure she would rather I put it to some use, rather than it sitting here as it has for 12 years without being worn (she was very dainty, and had ickle fingers, I am not dainty so cant wear most of it)

Sar, your mum can see what we can see. You're working incredibly hard to do the best for yourself, Ste and your beautiful girls. What more could she possibly ask from her amazing daughter?

immoral_angeluk

Awww you guys are making me cry again....

themaccas

Sar, your mum would have been so proud of you. I don't believe you need to go to a gravestone to show how much you miss and love someone.

On another note, I was thinking of you today! My son started uni at Stafford today and we were in Stafford's Asda getting him some last minute supplies.

immoral_angeluk

themaccas wrote: »

Sar, your mum would have been so proud of you. I don't believe you need to go to a gravestone to show how much you miss and love someone.

On another note, I was thinking of you today! My son started uni at Stafford today and we were in Stafford's Asda getting him some last minute supplies.

Wow! That's really weird. We're literally 15 mins down the road from ASDA... if I'd have known I would've invited you round for a tea... although today probably wasn't a good day for it unless you like watching people cry... lol

penguin83

Sar - your mum is with you every day in everything that you do and is proud of your achievements.

Bigs hugs for you today x x

Burlesque_Babe

My lovely Sar, you have nothing to be sorry for.

xx

slowlyfading

I have nothing else to add that other people haven't already said, but am sending you a big (((HUG))) xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Sending you hugs

take care Sar xx

immoral_angeluk

Morning Or should I say afternoon..
not sure if I mentioned about Ste's win..

Ste won a chance to on the competition 'prizes for privates' on Kerrang radio.. where basically a friend shoots at targets on your body using an airsoft gun (like paintball... but metal/plastic balls instead of paintballs!) and you won money for each target up to £200 and also tickets to the Kerrang launch party at the airsoft site who were doing the doing the competition.



We went to the Kerrang studios and did the game, and we'll be on either weds or thurs.. think they said weds

Question is... do I tell you how we did? Or do I leave it so you guys have to listen to the show and hear me shooting Ste?