Getting to know you........

wannabee_in_credit

skintmum2012 wrote: »

A happy mummy is a happy baby

Quite right, and I think I'm a happier mummy when working. I wish I could afford to go part time but it just wouldn't work.
I sometimes feel guilty about not being more maternal - I love my kids more than anything and obviously I'd die for them - but I just really love my time to myself as well when I can be me rather than mum. And I can't help how I feel - as I say I admire sahm's more than anything. How you find the patience for it I'll never know:j:beer:

meritaten

may I just say - there is nothing wrong with working full time - to support your family! there is also nothing wrong in working part time - if its financially viable to do so. same with being a Stay At Home Mum!
Each position brings different challenges!
I think that OS is being about having the best lifestyle on your budget - whatever that is! and being responsible and not wasting resources! and if you can SQUEEZE a little bit more out of the budget!!!! then THATS OS!

skintmum2012

meritaten wrote: »

may I just say - there is nothing wrong with working full time - to support your family! there is also nothing wrong in working part time - if its financially viable to do so. same with being a Stay At Home Mum!
Each position brings different challenges!
I think that OS is being about having the best lifestyle on your budget - whatever that is! and being responsible and not wasting resources! and if you can SQUEEZE a little bit more out of the budget!!!! then THATS OS!

Could not agree more

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi, & Welcome Skintmum! You`ve already found this site, a most excellent resource it is too! Folks have already offered great advice and insights from their experience, but I`d like to add my bob`s worth. Your greatest assets are your youth, your own commonsense & instincts, and your OH being on-side!
You are still young, Bless you, (and I`m not. )
Over the last 40 years at various stages in my life I`ve been a happy & carefree SAHM, then SAHM plus carer for elderly parents running 2 homes at once till I lost Mum & moved Dad in with us, then lost Dad, then Ex OH, then a single-mum-divorcee, then a working mum AND part-time Step-mum. With wonderful late 2nd Hubby had periods of both extreme poverty & affluence (he did contract welding and his ex-wife should have been a dairy farmer - she certainly milked us!) I`ve had cleaning & barmaid jobs way back & I`ve also had TWO careers, done both part-time & full-time over the years (science teacher then nurse) these mostly thanks to my late Hubby encouraging and supporting my training periods & even doing complete role-swaps at times when he was SAH dad between contract jobs, and we also somehow managed to buy & do improvements on our once desperate council house & pay off the mortgage, something we`d never have imagined when we were SO SKINT that he once tried mending a burnt out whistle-kettle with car body-filler (it didn`t work!) and how he ever kept some of the old bangers we relied on on the road I`ll never know! I remember he mended a loud blowing exhaust by cutting an oilcan & wrapping it fixing it round the hole. And a couple of SO very skint Christmases, one beaut when his ex demanded a piano for their daughter, (she`d got her dad to pay for lessons) we found a good one in auction rooms, HIRED a van and both risked hernias to get it there, scrimped to pay for it to be tuned after being moved, & when the poor little lass was confronted with LESSONS she didn`t want to know anymore! We`d quite successfully Merried our own Christmas that year with home-made desperation - rosehip wine, damson (scrumped) wine, logs for the fire from storm-felled trees a local farmer wanted rid of, and BIL donated a couple of brace of pheasants. (Some larger feathers donated for school Xmas play.) DS was happy with second-hand from local newspaper Action Men plus my `Blue Peter` efforts making tents & kit for them, and a sort of `barracks` dolls house for them made from cardboard boxes.
Later, we also fostered and adopted. This house was never EVER really tidy for more than a day or 2 at a time & that didn`t ever really matter that much.(still doesn`t - that`s why I normally just post on the `Messies` board here.) What actually MATTERS is Home is where you feel loved & comfortable/where you put in the effort to make that happen. You adapt when you have to, squeeze when you have to - simply because you have to. You do adapt to how much /little Time you have & you do adapt to how much/little Income there is. I never felt there was much choice about this, it seems a simple case of do what you have to do, decide your priorities but be willing to re-assess them as circumstances change.
I`m really happy now, working full-time in job I LOVE, home is a (Messy but comfy & loving) place where present OH, DS, & DS daughter my eldest DGD when here are my real world, the folks I prioritise around, very closely followed by my (adopted but MINE!) DD & her FOUR kids (ages 9-6 months), I`m just SO proud of my daughter, & thinking of her when posting in answer to you Skintmum. DD has had her ups & downs, & successfully broken the pattern of her birth parents & natural siblings by coping with it ALL, has had periods of working and SAHM and now her lovely chap is being the domesticated SAHDad (supervised by her & me)while she`s in college - when he was made redundant, DD took opportunity to do something about maybe having a career one day, she`s wanted to work with handicapped kids since she was 13 but got pregnant at 16 - no regrets there, DGS is such a treasure.

I`m sorry, I have gone on a bit. But I could never have imagined how my life would change, & keep changing. Nor did my daughter. Nor can you. Do what you feel, trust your instincts, & treasure the support of your OH, he sounds a star.

JulieGeorgiana

skintmum2012 wrote: »

wannabee_in_credit It's not that your "not good enough at it" It's that everyone is diffrent. The only thing I have ever wanted to do is be a mum I never wanted a really good job. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I used to say a Mum. If I had wanted a carer I would do that. A happy mummy is a happy baby

I was the same... I only got myself a career after DS was born because I was told not to have more children (which obviously is no longer the case) and the second I was told I could have more children... my career went on the back burner to some extent! After being made redundant my career crumbled and I ended up doing odd jobs to get money into the house.

But all I ever wanted to be was a mum. Now that I am a SAHM I couldn't be happier... I may have to get a PT job in the future, but right now I don;t have to worry about it... my children will be my priority.

meritaten wrote: »

may I just say - there is nothing wrong with working full time - to support your family! there is also nothing wrong in working part time - if its financially viable to do so. same with being a Stay At Home Mum!
Each position brings different challenges!
I think that OS is being about having the best lifestyle on your budget - whatever that is! and being responsible and not wasting resources! and if you can SQUEEZE a little bit more out of the budget!!!! then THATS OS!

You hit the nail on the head. OS is all about getting what you need out of it... and saving money on the way.

But I have found that it's also about living a more simple life.

[Deleted User]

Hello and welcome you have just started on a great journey which lots of Mums on here are on .Don't think of it as giving up your job, but think of it as starting a new one which means you will be in control and self employed to manage and run your home.Its challenging true, and at times exhausting but the rewards, which though may not be financially brilliant are amazing as you are getting the opportunity to see you children grow and flourish.
With a bit of luck, a dash of ingenuity and lots of support from the rest of us you will find that your new 'job' is so rewarding.You will become a pretty good cook ,cleaner,engineer,nurse,teacher and all the other multitude of tasks that SAHMs do
In the spring when the weather turns sunny what's nicer of cheaper that a stroll in the park with the kids. Never think of yourself as 'just a stay at home Mum' you are doing one of the most difficult jobs in the world and one that many women would envy you for.

I am a Granny of seven and I look after four of them before and after school and I love every minute of it as I enjoy the boys ,true I give them back at 6.30 at night but I look forward to the holidays when we get to do all the things I never had time to do when mine were small as I too was a working Mum.
Living on less is doable if you use baby steps and honestly look at your outgoings Its suprising what small changes can make to your life that you won't notice after awhile but will mean you have more cash to spend in your pocket.I live fairly comfortably on under £100.00 per month for myself and usually have cash left over which I save towards next years holidays or treat for the kids I cook from scratch and never waste anything if I can.Kids love to help 'make' things so get them involved and see what Ideas they come up with No matter how small all children like to be asked their opinion
Good Luck and never forget we are all here to help if possible even if its only to hear a rant when things go a bit wrong.
Cheers JackieO xxx

beemuzed

Jst want to echo the previous posters - look at it as an enjoyable challenge! Spending time planning how to squeeze the very most you can from your pennies is actually fun! I thoroughly enjoyed my time as a SAHM when my boys were small. It was later when I went back to work that I began spending without nearly as much thought as before - which is madness really. After all, it was hard-earned cash and I should have been more careful of it - but that's another story! It sounds as if stopping work now is what your health needs - and your health is another asset you need to treasure. There is so much advice on here that you'll probably only be able to do bits of it to begin with, but as time goes by you'll be surprised at just how well you can live with a lot of forethought. Enjoy the time with your children, it's very precious and goes by far too quickly. And, as others have said, you're already on the road to OS success if your OH is on board - that'll make a huge difference! Best of luck, and we''ll be looking out to hear from you of all your successes!

meritaten

Yes Hun - Post often! not just with your worries or gripes - post your successes and bargains too! believe me, we LOVE hearing those! and NEVER, ever think 'I am just a newbie - they wont want to hear my tip that I just discovered'! YES, we do!!!!
This site is a treasure trove of ideas - but new ones come up everyday, and we really appreciate the time others take to post these!

skintmum2012

Hi wow I feel so welcome thank you very much everyone I love being at home it's awsome I think I have had the best day today that I have in ages. I did some cleaning this morning my whole house is a mess I was cleaning the skirting boards when my son got a cloth and started to help Then we played with salt dough to make my sister a B day present then I went to sainsbury's and found 30p carrotts and lots of other cheap veg. Small things but its made me O s happy

Penelope_Penguin

As this has fallen from the front page of OS, I'll add it to the existign thread here we introduce ourselves

Welcome, btw :beer: