Never alone any more - awful OAP cliche

Oldernotwiser

morganlefay wrote: »

I just don't know how to make him see that THIS IS IT ! the time we've all been waiting for when we've looked after our children till they left home and could now start to live our own lives - so rudely interrupted by much-loved babies some 33 years ago !!

But perhaps for him THIS IS IT is what he has now, being at home with you, as a couple, without the children. Why should he have to take up golf or bird watching or bell ringing or anything else if he just wants to be at home with you? Personally I'd be more worried if he wanted to be out every day and see as little of me as he did when he was working.

I do see that you're both having to adjust to a new situation and I think it's important that you see it as something you have to sort out as a couple. Like most things in marriage (come on, you know this!) it takes communication and compromise and both of these are a 2 way processes.

onlyroz

Oh dear, hubby is 17 years older than me, so I think he's going to be *big* trouble when he retires. He spends all his free time at the mo playing World of Warcraft, and I can't see that changing much in retirement. I've got a feeling that he's going to turn into some sort of zombie, who I have to bring food to periodically. Bit like having another child in the house really....

shelly1_2

hi! i am very new to this!! i have 5 kids aged 14 to 6 and to sort the holidays we have sat and worked out days!
1 day trip a week! -ie coventry transport museum (brilliant day out!) free entry, stratford (walk by the river packed lunch!), raf cosford (free entry)
1 paying trip - ie cinema
1 free trip - parks , walks. reservoir!
this fills in the whole holiday and kids want to go back to school!
my main objective of the holidays and any trip is join with friends! 5 families in our area who go together give us 5/6 adults (if hubby working) 18 kids! we qualify for almost every group booking! you need to ring and ask and sometimes call yourselves a name! also gives you adults to talk to!!

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

I've been panicking since I realised that we have 5 years left till my husband retires.Putting the financial side of things aside (we've planned well and that's not something I'm concerned with) I'm finding it hard to come to terms with being retired.
My husband has already decided he wants a part time job as he say's he just can't stop and do nothing and intends on cutting work out of his life gradually.Fair enough as long as his health keeps up.
What's getting me is the finality of it.It's just made me realise that this is it,the end.Where do we go after that.All the hopes and inspirations you allowed yourself to have when you were young mean nothing and that coupled with leaflets coming through the door everyday offering pre-paid funeral plans ect. is realy getting me down.
Does anybody else feel like me or is it just the hormones again.

margaretclare

I must be lucky in that I cannot really relate to any of the posts in this thread. People are always telling me that 'I'm lucky, I don't understand how so many older people live....'

DH and I love being in each other's company. We've been together 11 years now come November, married for 7 years come January, and we love every minute that we spend together. We're still in love with each other. Every day that I wake up and see his dear face turned towards me saying 'good morning, my sweetheart' and we thank God for another new day to spend together. We enjoy just the simplest things that we do together as much as the less-simple - the holiday we're planning for September.

We both worked until we were 67 - the last few years in completely different jobs from our main careers. I was a widow for 5 years from 1992 to 1997 until he came into my life, and I would not wish for 'time to myself' or 'time to be alone'.

To Mrstittlemouse above - there are other things to do, to get interested in, there is time now to do some of the things you didn't have time to do before. We get immense pleasure out of the wildlife in our garden, we've recently rejoined the RSPB. There are other things in life - did you happen to see a news report recently of a man who has just achieved his PhD at age 92 - it took him 18 years, so he wasn't a spring chicken when he started. I have just registered for another degree course with the OU, this time in Environmental Sciences, starts January. As for the leaflets coming through the door - the recycling bin is waiting to receive them!!!

BlondeHeadOn

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

I've been panicking since I realised that we have 5 years left till my husband retires.Putting the financial side of things aside (we've planned well and that's not something I'm concerned with) I'm finding it hard to come to terms with being retired.
My husband has already decided he wants a part time job as he say's he just can't stop and do nothing and intends on cutting work out of his life gradually.Fair enough as long as his health keeps up.
What's getting me is the finality of it.It's just made me realise that this is it,the end.Where do we go after that.All the hopes and inspirations you allowed yourself to have when you were young mean nothing and that coupled with leaflets coming through the door everyday offering pre-paid funeral plans ect. is realy getting me down.
Does anybody else feel like me or is it just the hormones again.

Gordon Bennett - I hope when I get near to retirement I look on it a bit more positively than this!

This is not an end, but a new beginning surely? You say you don't have financial worries, so why not start planning now for thing you want to do when you HAVE retired? I think you really need to get a plan in place soon, otherwise you might as well start digging your metaphorical grave now.

Please please start to make a list of things you want to do and/or have always wanted to do, and start to make it possible for them to happen. You have to have something to look forward to.

A friend of mine retired and 60, and lived to be 87. That is 27 years of life to enjoy, after your main working life is over. That is a whole lifetime to some people. Just think about how long it seemed to take to get from birth to 27 years old - that is how long she had! And she loved every minute of her retirement, because she had planned out in advance what she wanted to do, and made sure she went and did it.

She sure had the right approach!!!
:j :j :j

savvy

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

What's getting me is the finality of it.It's just made me realise that this is it,the end.Where do we go after that.All the hopes and inspirations you allowed yourself to have when you were young mean nothing and that coupled with leaflets coming through the door everyday offering pre-paid funeral plans ect. is realy getting me down.
Does anybody else feel like me or is it just the hormones again.

Aww that sounds really sad! But why does it have to be final? I envy you in that you have time now to do whatever you want, I'd set up a cottage industry with recycled materials and get out travelling round Britain geocaching.................but unfortunately I have to give my time to unappreciative students and managers :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Margaretclare as usual, has some great ideas (she gets it soooo right!), along with voluntary work (look at all the people crying out for help), clubs, hobbies, competitions, serial member of a TV audience, there's plenty to sink your teeth into. Think of all the things that so far you haven't been able to do or learn and do one of them at a time

margaretclare

Thank you for the kind words, savvy.

We were out in the garden just now, DH is trimming the grass round the pond and laughing at the frogs he disturbs...I made a cuppa and took it down, I'm knitting blankets and hats for premmy babies and had my knitting down there with me. DH turned to me and took my hand and said 'I'm so much looking forward to going away with you in September (we're planning to drive up the Rhine valley) - it may be the last holiday like that if fuel prices keep on going the way we are...so looking forward to it and seeing wonderful scenery together'.

It's looking forward to things and planning them together, deciding where to stay, all that is just as enjoyable as having a big holiday together. He decided to go and get some money and a loaf of bread from the local baker's who bakes overnight (and yes, I'm always being told that 'the poor' cannot afford to make the choices we do, £1.22 for a loaf baked fresh overnight rather than transported halfway round the kingdom). I said 'I'll go with you...' just for the pleasure of being with him. I can't imagine it any other way.

ldavies_3

awwww this thread is quite sweet.... Im halway through a good career, have a wonderful husband and 2 boys who we both adore and are so proud of. Having all that said, we have spoken about OUR time is when we retire. this time now is for other people ie work, extended family and children but we know that when the time comes, its ours!:j