Never alone any more - awful OAP cliche

elsien

Voluntary work? If he doesn't really have hobbies but likes to feel useful that might be something worth considering - although he'd have to be a bit motivated to look into that.
My mum retired a couple of years ago and was fine in the summer when she could potter round the house and garden, but found that come the winter she got so depressed stuck in the house all day that she took to going out and driving round for hours just to get out. She found a part time job 3 days a week which was ok for a while, but she found it a bit restrictive, so is now doing the same thing on a voluntary basis, which has the advantage that if she has something better to do one day, she can phone and cancel without feeling guilty.
Does your OH have any retired friends he can wander off and do "manly" things with? Gardening, diy, fishing, ending up in the pub with a pint - even an hour or so every so often might be a start.
One of my friends in the end had to resort to telling her OH to sod off out from under her feet before he ended up under the patio - he now spends hours on the computer and she hardly sees him. ( She can't decided if that's better or worse!)

Pssst

I know someone whos hubby retired. She nagged and nagged him for ages as he was apparently always under her feet. Eventually some younger hottie who had had her eye on him for a while,lured him away. They got divorced,they had to sell a very nice house,now she is living somewhere considerably smaller and is a lady of limited means.

floss2

elsien wrote: »

Voluntary work?

Our local Age Concern is advertising for volunteers for a new shopping service.......would something like that suit him - or you?

elsien wrote: »

One of my friends in the end had to resort to telling her OH to sod off out from under her feet before he ended up under the patio - he now spends hours on the computer and she hardly sees him. ( She can't decided if that's better or worse!)

:rotfl: At least she can still get a response if she speaks to him!

Beamish

floss2 wrote: »

Our local Age Concern is advertising for volunteers for a new shopping service.......would something like that suit him - or you?


:rotfl: At least she can still get a response if she speaks to him!

LOL Mine has just found a p.c. game called Around the World in 80 days, he's on the 14th day and he's still stuck in China

I get to read my book in peace and have some ME time and every now and again he says "Would you care for a top up", its great response:T

On a seroius note though I think this is something we all dread, I have started to send my hubby to Mr T's/or Spanish supermarket to buy things for the evening meal (its called Hunter Gathering and makes them feel important), we have had some weird and wonderful evening meals LOL.

I have a plan for when we spend longer periods in Spain, I am going to volunteer us for a Dog Charity where by we can offer our services to walk dogs/foster or help raise funds, we both love dogs but as we will only be there for months at a time we are unable to have a dog of our own, by doing this we will have the best of both worlds also as hubby is a dog lover it will give him a interest.

So if your husband is a lover of Animals what about volunteering!

Beem

Mojisola

Get him volunteering! There are so many charities desperate for helpers that he will find something that interests him. He will be out from under your feet and doing good for other people AND he'll feel really wanted and useful.

Errata

At 4 months he's probably reached the point where he's stopped thinking 'thank god, retirement at last' and started thinking 'I don't know what i'm supposed to be doing and how I should be living this new life'.
First things first, have a board meeting and share out all the household duties 50/50.
Secondly, draw up a list of things that only he can do around the house and garden and act as his apprentice/labourer.
Thirdly, draw up a list of things the two of you always wanted to do but never had enough time when he was working - visit gardens/climb Scafell/learn bridge etc.
When you've got through that lot the two of you need to have another board meeting to negotiate personal space and time (he'll soon be as fed up with you as you are with him) and plan how you are going to spend your retirement together as a joint venture.
The most important thing to remember is that your home belongs to both of you and you need to develop a new partnership to manage this new stage in your lives.
HTH and if all else fails - try gin !

pinkshoes

I'd just be honest with him and tell him!! Point out that you got used to your own space, and now you don't get any space, and you're finding it really difficult to adjust, so would he mind taking up a hobby that gets him out the house for a few hours a week, so that you don't go mad!

Honesty is usually the best policy!

savvy

It sounds like a major time of adjusting................Errata has some good points and the voluntary work could be good to make him feel useful, something like a hospital driver, there's got to be something that tickles his fancy I'd also get him to do lunch or dinner every day and you do the other meal or alternate between you, he'll have to focus on what to eat and how to cok it etc.

Do you have a garden shed? If so could that be turned into his area, and you have a corner of the dining room or lounge and that's your area, then let him know when your area is off limits as you have things you'd like to do and visa versa??

It might help if you knew what his expectations for retirement were, what did he envisage for this time..................it may be he just has no idea what to do with himself and may've lost confidence hence not bothering to sign up to courses etc.

Have you got grandchildren or pets that he could take charge of?

Bella79

Just been reading all of your replies with intrest , Me and hubby have been together everyday ! lol hes self employed and i help him out so were used to been together most days and when hes not here i find it weird ! although he does go on his pc on a night so i usally watch tv to myself lol

elona

DH is not planning to retire for a couple of years yet but our house is up for sale so we can get something more private and easier to run and heat. Not necessarily smaller but with a garage and a garden, which our town house does not have.

He cannot wait to get a large shed or insulated home office that will be "his space!"

He wants to be able to indulge his hobbies like geneology without having to move stuff.

With four DDs the poor man has been outnumbered for years!!!